The Lonely Life

AU REVOIR. AUF SOMETHING. GOODBYE.

2006-05-07T20:47:00.000+08:00

I'm so sorry, failedpessimist. Je suis desolee.
This is it, then. Ca y est.
phase two of my life

Goodbye. :)
I'm trying to be as unsentimental as possible, but I guess it's best not to fight it.
Onslaught of emotions, but ah, choices.
Smile and wave, boys, smile and wave.

-failedpessimist

By the way, please don't relink me. Merci beaucoup, chacun.

2006-05-07T14:54:00.000+08:00

Classics are the books that everyone celebrates but nobody reads.

The quotes that (I think) reinforce my tentative theory of time:

Clocks slay time... time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life.
William Faulkner

Time is life! I wonder if that's what he's trying to say.
Clocks slay time. Although clocks are pretty.

Sometimes I feel that life is passing me by, not slowly either, but with ropes of steam and spark-spattered wheels and a hoarse roar of power or terror. It's passing, yet I'm the one who's doing all the moving.
Martin Amis, Money

Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them.
Dion Boucicault

Time goes, you say? Ah no!
Alas, Time stays, we go.
Henry Austin Dobson

You must have been warned against letting the golden hours slip by; but some of them are golden only because we let them slip by.
James Matthew Barrie

If you are seeking creative ideas, go out walking. Angels whisper to a man when he goes for a walk.
Raymond Inmon

That's it, I'm going for a walk.

www.quotegarden.com

2006-05-07T14:21:00.000+08:00

http://www.ssc.gov.sg/SportsWeb/sw_cat_details.jsp?type=9&root=31&cat=244&artID=3550

Burghley Tennis Center. :)
Where I'm currently having tennis lessons until the ACSI guys finish their exams.

And:
http://www.ssc.gov.sg/SportsWeb/sw_cat_details.jsp?type=9&root=31&parent=31&cat=180

It's kinda fun. I'm making a mental list of places I wanna go to during the hols. Badminton courts, tennis courts, gyms... maybe I'll even pick up squash. Just for fun.

ohoh before I replied to anonymous, he smsed me again.

Hmm..U sure r afraid 2 reply me isit?

Okay. So I decided to pull off the poshly-superior tone. :D

um, darling, has it ever crossed your mind that you're not really -worth- a reply? i don't honestly hold much with anonymous people, but i suppose i'll make an exception, since you're so persistent. no, i don't want 2 c u, since i'm not comfortable with secretive people in the first place, but i would consent to online chats. add me at anastazsia, hotmail - but only if you would care to, naturally. Up 2 u.. :)

He actually fell for it.
I think he's a coward.

Wad anastazsia? Is it anastazsia@hotmail.com?

And I affirm that nonchalantly.

It's fun attempting to play cool. :D
With jerks, that is.
And yesssss, I do have an anastazsia@hotmail.com. Just don't use it much.

haha, I realize I sound like I'm bragging. Okay, I admit, this anonymous has kinda piqued my curiosity, if only momentarily.

Sunday's gone already. Sort of. I can't wait till the holidays.

Tennis camp, second week of the June holidays, tentatively.

I can't wait till French class. Get my results back.
Though I betcha I'll get a B at best. :)

TAXI TAXI TAXI
DOMINIC LYDIA CLAUDIA

ag.

2006-05-07T10:19:00.000+08:00

"I dropped my phone four times," says my sister.
ag. Primary three and she's got a camera phone!
Okay. I got my first phone when I was in primary five. I spent forty dollars playing Snake and my mum scolded me and I stopped playing Snake but occasionally I do go to Neopets and play meerca chase.

Having cup noodles now.

Since xanga's out of the way, maybe I'll consider a livejournal. I've already got one, but I'm not telling, because my posts there are incredibly stupid.

PAP won for Aljunied. :D

Imagine a fiery tempered, wilful bar hostess/bitchy goth falling for the charm of a blue eyed sunshine surfer dude and going all tame and 'awww' in his strong muscled arms.

That's exactly what makes fiction unrealistic.

Let her walk out on him. Scar his pretty arms. Cheat on him.

Now that's what she'd do. yaay

No wait, no scar. Apparently that only makes guys more attractive. well gah! The world is sexist.

I'm considering getting a tagboard.
And a new skin.
C'est ennuyeux.

"I hate green tea peppermint."
ohmygosh. My sister just said that! She just said that!

oh, and she asked me to leave messenger on when I leave for Chinese tuition, because she wants to talk to my friends. It's fun, according to her. She'd know. She's done it twice already, due to my extreme carelessness. So if "I" suddenly start talking to you in chatspeak, YOU KNOW IT'S HER.

okay. Cup noodles are not good.

2006-05-06T22:44:00.000+08:00

You know a few posts ago, I mentioned anonymous' latest message. I didn't reply to it, and now anonymous has sent another sms:

Y? Afraid 2 reply?

gah. That guy annoys the shit outta me.
He's rather unskilled in the ways of conversation, and I'm not talking about chatspeak here. If you, dear reader, are interested- I'll give you his handphone number and you can help me flame him.

quoting his previous previous sms:
since i noe u n if u 1 2 c me,we can meet up! Up 2 u..

No, I don't want to c him, but if he wants to c me, he can always say so. (because if I'm guessing correctly and he's Stanley, he's been pretty brazen before)

Alright, you know something bothers me when I mention it in more than one paragraph when blogging.

just... let me rant. Okay. Steeeeeeeeeam.

-breathe in-

DESPO DESPO DESPO DESPO DESPO.

although that's rather hypocritical of me to say so, because I admit, if I liked a guy and he desperately wanted to see me, it'd seem rather romantic. Though if that's repeated more than once, I'll be seeing him as needy and over-protective or maybe wimpy and clingy and I'd... dump him or something.

I got the May issue of LIME. Funny, it's all gossip and interviews and reviews and stuff. It's pretty pointless, three bucks for a ten minute read. And I like it.
Just like I adore (good) chick-lit.
Chick-lit is pretty stereotyped, though.
Trashy chick-lit is what most readers have in mind.
But chick-lit is often funny, or at least poignant and romantic.

ohh anyway. Maybe it's the exhilaration at finally catching up with friends, but anyhoo.
I went to Shell with Paula.
We went to Conway and talked a lot.
Then Saranya and Amanda came, coincidentally, though we weren't really surprised at their arrival. And we talked with them.
And then Shi Hao and Sutthersan came, and they kept away for a while, and then Sutthersan approached us, and then etc etc and finally all of us hung out at the red monkey bar place.

I sang a lot. Any song my memory could catch hold of.
The ZPS song.
SNGS school song (though I could only remember the first few lines, it's in chinese so I didn't really bother memorizing it much)
Majulah Singapura!
Yue4 liang4 dai4 biao3 wo3 de xin1
Yue4 lai2 xiang1 (I could only remember these three words)
Edelweiss.
top of the world!
some familiar but dodgy melody I was humming

doremi

do, a deer, a female deer
re, a drop of golden sun
mi, a name, I call myself
fa, a long long way to runnnnnn
soh, a needle pulling thread
la, a note that follows soh
ti, a drink with jam and bread
and it brings us back to
do-oh-oh-oh
etc.

I love trying to reach high notes.

I admit, I miss having a social life in my neighbourhood.

Saranya's moving.
Nigel's moving.
Saranya?! Why oh why oh why!
Nigel? Okay, I can deal with that since I didn't know him well, but it'll be funny - driving past his house and knowing there's no Nigel inside.

Paula and I have made a pact-
we shall play badminton just about every day during the June hols, so she can become a kickass player, and after the holidays she can audition for badminton and get into the team.
she thinks ZSS sucks.
I think SNG sucks too.
ZPS and Kindergarten and Alliance Francaise are the best schools I've ever attended. :D
okay, kindergarten wasn't that good. I kept crying. I was spoilt. I was the only one in my level who hated vegetables. Sometimes as punishment they sent me to eat with the nursery section.
okay, kindergarten sucked. The guys bullied me and those younger than me shunned me.
I had this sort of reputation as the kindergarten crybaby.
hahah, Paula also had some sort of reputation. I'm not sure what exactly but during afternoon nap time, she always slept next to the wall, away from the rest of the k2s.

hm. okay. Gonna reply to anonymoussssssss

2006-05-06T17:20:00.000+08:00

Just woke up. Past four hours or so have been spent locked up in my room, and me alternating between sleep and fuzzy moments of consciousness. Tiredtiredtired. Stupid powerpoint imma sending to Paula is taking ages to load. Switching to gmail now. HURRY UP HURRY UP.
Sorry I'm in a bad mood. Funny how things always choose to go wrong when you're in a bad mood. Stacy after she has just woken up is rarely in a good mood.

oh, now gmail isn't working.

Not Found
Error 404

STUPID THING GRAGHHHHHHH.

gsriiuau876y76uewasdszned

I give up. I'll send the powerpoint later. Happy now, gmail?

gaaaaaaah

off to Shell with Paula now.

2006-05-05T22:58:00.000+08:00

Ceramic lessons are fun.
I like moulding stuff with my hands, though I'm not that good at moulding anyway.
I don't like coiling, though. On that spinning thing. I've got no control where endlessly spinning stuffs are concerned.

When I was in my cardboard phase, I had this thought of the soul being a frightened thing, two eyes peeking out of a cardboard box in lieu of our body.

mind soul body

oh gaah, I don't know. I feel like I'm two people. It's someone else who's the lit rep. It's someone else who gets praised and scolded. It's someone else who talks to all the people on msn while I sit pondering in a comfy black leather swivel chair.

Accompanied my mum to King's Medical just now. Walked around the empty clinic a bit while she was in the doctor's room thing. There were lots and lots of posters on birth control, erectile d-something, more so than other posters and brochures. Levitra thing. Apparently Viagra's not all that good anymore.

Anyway, they had this height measurement thing. Started from 60cm. I stood next to it and was all, oh gosh, I can't be shorter than 145cm! If I was 140cm or so, then... Okay, I tried to estimate Robyn's dad height (180) according to the way the measure was positioned, and... he'd be almost as tall as the ceiling.

Man, they placed the measure way too high up.

chariot!
chari-ot!
gavin degraw.
chariot!

2006-05-05T21:43:00.000+08:00

I want

to play tennis every single day.
to play badminton every single day.
to play hockey every single day.
to go jogging every single day.
to do the monkey bars every single day.
to read good chick-lit.
to have a beautiful long conversation with at least one person every day.
to tour Europe. (pretty much sums it up, but it loses the pizzazz. France! Paris! Italy! Venice!)
to sing!
to dance!
that enya cd.

Might as well set my goals.

Academically:
English: High A1
Lit: High A1
Maths: Borderline A2
Chinese: Borderline B3
Biology: Borderline A1
Chem: Average A1
Physics: can't tell yet. Hopefully a borderline A2.
Geography: Borderline A1
History: High A2
MEP: B4
Art: B3

If I hit my targets, perhaps I'll persuade my mum to sign me up for creative writing classes.

Sports:
hockey-
to perfect my tackle, dribble, hit, sweep, false passes. Especially tackle and false passes.

tennis-
just... to be able to play a proper, fast-paced game. And be able to serf over the net.

NAPFA-
60 situps.
30 pullups.
A C for sitandreach, whatever that may be.
An A for standing broad jump, whatever that may be.
An A for my shuttle run, whatever that may be.
At the most, 12 minutes for the 2.4km run.

Maybe I'll considering getting a new hockey stick if I achieve all the sports-related goals.

yay.

Going to the rgs choir concert next Thursday. Supporting Pei Ying, par normalement, haha.
Man, I miss primary school. I miss primary school. I miss it so bad.

ZHONGHUA
I LOVE YOU
I NEED YOU
I WANT YOU SO BAD.

Gone people... up awkward with their things... gone.
From Gone Going by Black Eyed Peas.

Is it me, or does that line definitely have some sexual implications?

And Tom Cruise said something about Katie Holmes now being Kate Holmes because that's a proper name for a child-bearing woman who's grown up and all.

That seems pretty chauvinistic, the asshole.
But if she's okay with it, then, well, okay. Her choice. :/

but jeez. Kate Holmes?

Drove past the stadium place where WP was rallying. My mum and I. Gosh, it was amazing. The place was effing jammed up and everywhere there were people people people!

We backed out though. Too many cars. Not enough space.

Apparently my granduncle on my dad's side was the founder of the Singapore Progressive Party, years and years ago. They lost to PAP though.
Wait, was he my granduncle?
He was my grandmother's sister's husband.
So yeah. We're not related by blood, but it's kind of interesting to have such a, err, political (?) relative. Maybe he's dead now.

Yeah, must be. Otherwise I would've met him before.

Then again, you never know. I've realized that I have no idea who half of the people from my dad's side are. All those distantly related people who know my name, or only recognize me when my grandmother points out that I'm 'ah boy's eldest daughter'.

My dad's known as 'ah boy' in the family, though he's like, forty plus.

Okay.

I am... ah boy's eldest daughter. Cool.

beauty of the beast

2006-05-05T19:15:00.000+08:00

ooh. Molten curry.
Something went wrong in the microwave.
Once I tried to turn playdough into ceramic by putting it into the microwave.
Came out burnt and stuff.

Needs to be like, one or two thousand degrees.

Clay and stuff is so fussy. Ceramic.
Just like I'm a really really fussy eater.
No vegetables. Absolutely no vegetables.
Nothing with onion in it.

And all the other pet peeves that will take too long to list.
They sell pig ears to dogs.

I went to Pet Station with Robyn and Paula today. We saw a St. Bernard. Golden retriever. Cavalier. Pomeranian. Beagle (uber cute, fyi, that one). Highland terrier, or smth like that. Husky. French bull dog. Dober... Dober what? There was a cage which was labelled 'Schnauzer' but there was no Schnauzer inside. Daaaaaaamn.

I remember Zong Han had a Schnauzer. He talked about it a lot. He said it was fat but ran fast. He said once his mum bought a live crab, put it in the plastic bag and put it on top of the microwave for the night. In the morning it was walking about in the plastic bag on the floor. He said he was forced to attend piano class because his sister did. He said his sister tattled on him a lot. He said... he said what? Oh. He said he hates being called Wilson, which is his christian name. He was liulaoshi's pet, albeit an unwilling one. He's a pretty funny guy who always passed my paper to the back, stole my hairband, played pranks on the girls.

Oh, wow. Lovely primary school memoriex. hahas.

Paula gave me a flower. Hibiscus.
We had a lovely garden, before our house got renovated. Carpet grass, a rosebush that didn't bloom much. My grandma always said that once a full rose bloomed, a tiny, pretty fairy baby would emerge from within the flower. Thus I watered them quite diligently.
We had hibuscuses too. They were really pretty. And we had the... allamanda? I'm not sure. It's the yellow flower with poisonous leaves.

Plants grow fruits to protect their seeds.

haha, I remember that! Mrs. Lee taught us that! In p5 or something. I found it immensely interesting and noted it down in my wooden notebook, which I still bring to school everyday but don't write in. It's the one in which I diligently copied all my p5 and 6 science notes, the one I memorized for PSLE, the one Robyn borrowed to copy in the car. :D

Warm air contains more moisture than cold air.

I thought otherwise, in primary school. It came as quite a surprising bit of trivia. Useful trivia which came in handy for section B of the PSLE Science paper of 04.

STEFI. SHUT UP. YOUR UNNECESSARY SCREAMS ARE GREATLY DISTURBING ME.

Stop whining. Stop stop! Stop!

Does anyone want a free younger sister?

okay, I take that back.
But that doesn't mean she doesn't annoy me.
I'm just sure that deep down, deep deep down in my little stubborn heart, I love my sister. Deep down inside.

Remember how we always used to tease each other.
oooooh Robyn loves mushroom!
Saranya loves Shi Hao!
Amanda loves Shi Hao!
Paula loves Shi Hui!
kekes lolx.

Fun while they lasted. ;)

Though the embarrassment part, not quite.
I still can't forget that time we were at the playground, and Kenneth and blueshirtguy came cycling past, Amanda shouted out, "Stacy loves Kenneth!"
C'mon, we didn't even know each other. We only cycled past each other once or twice, occasionally, etc.
F'shit. He's been avoiding me ever since.
I was so angry that day, I started flinging sand at Amanda and Saranya.
eheh, sorry.
Royal humiliation, that.

I haven't had my revenge yet.

But that was two years ago.

hm. oh well.

2006-05-05T18:05:00.000+08:00

Imma using Robyn's computer now. Paula's reading Newpaper. Robyn's watching some fashion show thingy. We're supposed to meet Saranya and the rest at Conway... soon.

The first inkling of my social life (consisting of more than two people or so) finally emerges after months and months.

Robyn, your backspace key is so hard to presss. Tinyyyy.

Paula's behind my back now. Reading what I'm typing.
We're supposed to be studying, but my study materials are on the table behind me, abandoned and pitiful.

Oh, Saranya and Amanda just came.

SARANYA WHY ARE YOU WEARING A JACKET. IT IS SO EFFING HOT IN HERE.

Hi Amanda.

I like Robyn's computer.

Hi Saranya.

Mad aren't you, Amanda's saying to me.

Hello. I'm not the one wearing a sweater in such hot weather.

Since 3.30pm I'vebeen here.

today in class, Calista said, "Let's go to the toilet."
And Pei Hwa said, "Okay, I also wanna go."
And I said, excitedly, "Let's go let's go to the toilet wheee"

And later in class, again Calista said, "Let's go to the toilet."
I heard her say "Let's go to China."

We had a mini squabble, involving a pair of red scissors, and somehow I ended up threatening to kill myself with it.

Mary-anne was absent today. During common test period, the teacher asked, "Is that girl absent?" while pointing to Mary-anne's empty seat. She was attending her relative's funeral or smth.
And one of our classmates said, "Funeral."

And we all burst out into giggles.

Hello i am robyn and i am interrupting her blog entry. its been ages.

you know you miss me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111

Okay. Continuing.

Mr. Foo thinks my slipper was cute.

I mean, we made tiny ceramic slippers, for art class.

Mr Foo said, "Haiyah, polling day tomorrow. Who d'you think I should vote for? PAP, WP, SDP?"

He revealed that he refuses to, at home, use the internet. He doesn't use modern stuff like iPods etc., he doesn't have a television, and I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't have a handphone. He says these will interrupt his work. He's an artist and art researcher. Eccentric guy who once snapped at our vice-principal. oh and that time, our class pissed him off. He shouted at us to "Get out", and after that he wrote on the whiteboard in the art room, "Irritated by 2Faith today".

but he's a nice guy. Open-minded and appreciative.

Now that's the kinda teacher I like. :D

oh, and someone scrawled on the teacher's table a love declaration to Mr. J. Cher.
Gotta love that hairy chest.
I heard Natalie scream that. :/
excusez moi s'il vous plait.

Robyn's gonna show me who Samsee is.

And she's sec4 so she's retired.

It hurts to laugh, oh my stomachhhhhh.

My mum might take me to a rally later. To 'see what it's like'.

I'd like that. :)

2006-05-05T06:27:00.000+08:00

6.27pm. Maths test in slightly more than an hour's time.
I'm afraid I'll blank out like I did during the previous test and not know how to do anything and fail.

Tirrrrrrred.

2006-05-04T22:30:00.000+08:00

Anonymous smsed me again.
WAIT. There. Are. Two anonymous people smsing me. Their numbers are different, wtf. Or maybe it's the same person using different phones.

Hi sori few days didnt reply. Was busy. Anw since i noe u n if u 1 2 c me,we can meet up! Up 2 u..

One word:
Despo.

Maybe it's Stanley. Gragh.

2006-05-04T20:42:00.000+08:00

I didn't really expect my mum's laptop to hold so much, but I found all the pictures she took this year. Mostly those of the funeral, but anyway. I'd fun looking through all of them.

Kenn Ji, my sister, Gimm.

2006-05-04T19:44:00.000+08:00

Went cycling for the first time in ages. Did a few rounds on the monkey bar. Didn't hang upside down though. I forgot. And it would've been rather uncomfortable if I did, what with the quarrelling couple in the pavillion nearby. Couple. I'm merely speculating here.

Pedalling the slope to Conway. A girl shouting. I thought it was a guy. I thought it was two friends quarrelling.

Cycling round the park. The girl is howling, screaming, the whole park can hear her. The guy, spectacled, calm, trying to reason. The girl is rather plump, and I caught a few snatches of ni3 bu yao4 wo3 le. You don't want me anymore.

She keeps screaming, keeps screaming. And then she runs, out of the pavillion, onto the road. She's standing there, one lone figure, at the white line that divides forward from backward. I'm standing where the monkey bar is, can't help looking at her for a moment, then avert my eyes and do my first round of the bars. She's crying all the while.

When I do an about turn on the bars, there's a car, nearly knocks her down. Then she's kneeling at the side of the road, squatting maybe, and I do another about-turn. I get off the bars. She's now in the pavillion again, crying.

Then I can't stand it anymore and I leave the park after doing two more rounds of the monkey bar.

The guy'd been strict and calm all the while. When she ran onto the road he was all, "You want to make this ugly? You want to make this ugly?"

When I left he was wiping away her tears.

So, okay.

Isn't it funny, Robyn, how we've witnessed more than one break-up at that park. There was once, at the 'upper deck', there was a guy and a girl at the most secluded chess table. It mightna have been a breakup, I dunno, but the girl was crying as she left.

And then the other time, at the pavillion, a guy and a girl. The guy walked away. The girl too, but she after a few steps she collapsed onto the lamppost and knelt down and cried and cried.

But also, sweet teenage love. A couple, dressed in their school uniforms, snogging the lights out of each other.

Parks are so unpredictable.

2006-05-04T14:59:00.000+08:00

What comes easily is not treasured.
oh, oh yeah.

This morning someone in class was going, "Where's my pen? Did anyone see my pen?"
I couldn't help but remember that 'pencil' was derived from the latin something 'little penis'.

Pen. Cil.
Okay. So just plain 'pen' would mean, uhh...

Where's my pen? Did anyone see my pen?

God. Shut up.

Assembly was pretty hilarious, at least the part where the actresses got off stage to interview some teachers. Mr. Wong was it.

What's your name?
And he says, in a dazed 'what?' kinda way, Mr. Wong.
Okay, Mr. Wong, how do you feel about teaching in a girls' school?
In the same manner as before, he says, "Good".
Okay. So what do you think Sandy here should wear for her hot date with Justin?
He pauses to think, leans into the microphone and says, "white blouse white skirt".

Gosh. It seems so deadpan here but it was absolutely hilarious back there.

And I think my situps from yesterday's NAPFA are finally catching up with me. My stomach hurts, rather.

No tennis today. Cancelled.

I feel silent and tired, and... I wanna practise Allegro. So many mistakes, yet again, exam in three -two- months and god oh god I'm so unprepared.

Maths common test tomorrow. I've never been this scared.
And I think that my way of dealing with problems is ignoring them. My fear is hidhidhidden in some deep dark crevice of my mind and will emerge tomorrow, triumphant and screaming. I suppose I'd better mug later.

Who coined the term 'mug'? I'm practically addicted to it.

2006-05-03T19:59:00.000+08:00

I'm listening to the Phantom of the Opera themesong. la la la la LAAAAAAAA
la la la la LAAAAAA
Lovely, that one.

"You remember what you want to remember." Quoted by someone I've forgotten.
That's tres vrai.
For some part. E.g. Mary-anne's got this really easy to remember handphone number, but I don't really bother to memorize/remember it, so I can't.

The Phaaaaaaaantom of the opera is here
Inside my mind

Sing once again with me
Our strange duet
My power over you
Grows stronger yet
And though you turn from me
To glance behind
The Phaaaaaaaaaantom of the opera is there
Inside your mind

no particular reason. :D
I just adore the tune.
looky this: http://www.darklyrics.com/n/nightwish.html

Sanest choice in the insane world...
Beware the beast but enjoy the feast he offers

(Beauty of the Beast)

Schweet.

Today was a total fluke.
Academics:
Said Mrs. Lee, never start a sentence with 'and'.
F'shit. Why not? Find me a contemporary work where the writer never starts a sentence with 'and'.
Rules are to be manipulated. Shredded and torn until only a small resemblance is left.
But of course, teachers are always right.

NAPFA. Pull-ups are my saving grace.
And sit-ups, some might say.
I don't know what came over me. I did my sit-ups so... rushedly. The teacher-ic thought I wasn't going down enough.
Li-Lin laoshi. Oh, blah. I had to redo them thrice. The last time slowly, slowly, so I could prove to Li-Lin laoshi that I was doing my sit-ups correctly.
And thus I did more than ten sit-ups less than last year. Which is still an A, but I'm feelin' sad. Gah oh man, sit-ups are supposed to be my best item.
Shuttle run! I'm a slow old lady.
Standing broad jump! From a 1.78m during PE time to a lowly 1.54m.
Sit and reach. 36cm. I can't remember. Thirty-something.

Think it's silver.

G'bye, consecutivethreeyearsgoldaward. So long. Farewell. Auf somethi-ing good by-e.

I should cheer up. It's just a stupid- a stupid... a stupid test which means a lot to me.
Okay. Think I'll go and mope around for a bit.

oh, and hockey sucked. Quatre mots:
I suck. We suck.
Coach sweeping a gaze over the sectwos, saying, "I'm very disappointed with you all."

STACY. YOU GO GIRL.
GO GO GO YOU CAN DO IT.

2006-05-02T19:14:00.000+08:00

Wow. Did you(?) read today's papers? People aiming to join the government sniping at each other in public. No, that's degrading but not wrong. Everyone has emotions. Never apologize for showing them. I just thought, that's a cat fight, between two guys. :D

HAH I CAUGHT THEM I CAUGHT THEM.

Spray each other with verbal venom. That's cute.

And I'm thinking...
gosh.
I just wondered. Do I seem like an insensitive, cruel poser? Who, you know, disses her classmates and stuff. I wouldn't do that. The only people I'll diss (and even then, subtly) are people who annoy me. Like tickling me incessantly. Being petty. Being spoilt. Following me around during recess! People who only turn to me when their buddies don't wanna hang out with them. Overbearing people. The arrogant. The snobbish. The whiny.

oh, especially the whiny. I still remember that time.

Should I go? They didn't tell me about the meeting and they still want me to attend it but I can't make it! They should have told me earlier right! But if I don't go then they'll scold me!

and I reply, patiently: Then don't go. It's their fault they didn't tell you. Case closed.

I dunno leh. They'll accuse me of not doing work and stuff. But my mum will scold me if I go!

me: Why would your mum scold you?

I dunno. Should I go? Should I go?

And I shrug and ignore her. And PE lesson starts.

During PE: So should I gooooooooooooo?

After PE: Eh Stacy I eat recess with you?

I'm so fed up, I pretend not to hear her. Shut up, I never said I was mother Teresa.

But she catches up with me anyway. "So should I gooooooooo?"

Later I abandon her while she's eating, so she can't follow me. I wave cheerfully, smile, and say energetically, "Bye!"

And I escape to the library. My sanctuary.

But she'll be okay. She'll find someone else to pester.

Edit: I just realized I'm being whiny about others being whiny. So that kinda makes me a hypocrite.

I want to hit something. But nevermind. Self-contradiction is healthy. Arguments with oneself. ~~The first signs of madness.~~ Arguments are mind-stimulating- wait, that sounded wrong. Tant pis tant pis tant pis. SELF CONTRADICTION IS HEALTHY. SELF CONTRADICTION IS HEALTHY.

I think I'll just continue with my post.

I just realized that deja vu, translated literally from French, means 'already seen'. Which corresponds effectively with its actual meaning. Gosh, I only realized that today, on the way back from school. Connecting languages is so fun.

My mum says that if I take lit, I'll have to work really hard for it. So I stand at least a slight chance of getting a scholarship to Oxford. I mean, I'll have to work hard for other subjects, but yeah.

And she also wants me to take triple science. Like take triple science in school, and lit outside, as an additional subject. Because SNG, this accursed school, doesn't allow more than 10 curriculum subjects.

btw
http://www.xanga.com/forchancedtrains

I've decided that it won't be my blog. Just my blog for spares of prose/poetry/philosophies etc.

And I'm considering setting up a Stacy's Collection of Heart-Bleeding Poetry and Prose.

your words r a knife cuttin in2 mah heart ;_;
i shouldve known u just wanted me 4 a quick fuck
n now da real knife is slittin mah wrist
goodbye, motha fucka, i'm givin u one last kiss

2006-05-02T15:36:00.000+08:00

Lire-ca!
http://home.pacific.net.hk/~rebylee/text/prince/1.html

I have to do a book review on that. By tomorrow. And I lost the book.
So, being the smart, composed girl that I am, I did not fret and turned to the internet where I was sure such a classic could be found.
And I was right!
now you see why I never want to grow up, why I'm hopelessly in love with Neverland and flying and fairies and Peter Pan.

Piano in a couple minutes time.
Today was pretty horrible, but pretty, all the same. I failed Maths and history! Too-wheet.
I'll aim for triple science, but even if I do qualify, I shan't take it. I'll have to give up lit if I do. (Or quit MEP, yay, but that's impossible)

I'm not depressed. Kinda gotten used to failing stuff.
GODDDDDDDDDDD.

It was scarely any larger than a house!

I love intepreting stuff. Metaphors and all. Only it's a bit harder with poems.
Imagine and learn

with Playhouse Disney!

gosh, I love that channel. I like the classic Winnie the Pooh. What's a Pooh? I don't know. WINNIE WINNIE. And his hunny.

Her?

oh, pooh bear, you are droll.

Christopher Robin! Christopher Ro-bin! Yoo-hoo!

Just trying to imitate the characters. Childrens classics rock.
I'm not even going to pretend that I like those 19th century classics. To hell with Ivanhoe, works of Thomas Hardy, Wuthering Heights, etc. Although they do come in handy when trying to impress adults. Not that I try much; I have a reputation for reading a lot in my family. They see a new book in my hand, assume I'm actually gonna read it, and go, "Oh! Ivanhoe! That's a good book. Wah, so yong4 gong1 ah."

And I blush and say, "No lah, just started only."

Something like that.

Adults are so gullible.

Or boring. See The Little Prince.

2006-05-01T22:25:00.000+08:00

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
WTF

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
i haven't done it yet!

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
i mena

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
mean*&

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
the book review

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
DO I LOOK LIKE I'VE DONE IT?

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
-wait, you can't see me now-

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
but anyway yeah

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
>.< the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
gosh

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
must be from the list, right?

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
why is it that every sentence seems to have sexual implications

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
to me

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
err

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
haha

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
yeah

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
yeah

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
yup

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
HAHAHAHA

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
NO STACY I HAVE NOT DONE 'IT'

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
:D

-

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
It won't hurt, I promise.

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
HAHAHA

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
I HATE ENGLISH ENRICHMENT

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
i KNOW I KNOW

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
i died laughing when i saw that

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
that was sick

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
i thought you liked?

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
hahaha

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
nooooo

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
haha

-

Bewarrre.
Stacy is on an edge. Stacy is scary. Stacy is mean. Stacy is sick.
That sounded wrong.
wheee

2006-05-01T21:43:00.000+08:00

Your cold eyes cut into my soul,
full of concealed hurt and pain.
I'll remember that look forever,
etched into my memory,
burning into my heart
stretching forth into my abyss of misery.

Your hurt causes my hurt,
and now you're gone,
and I'm crying out but no one's hearing me,
and the crystalline tears fall to the ground and freeze in time,
a symbol of our doomed love...

egads. HAHAH. XD

2006-05-01T16:47:00.000+08:00

RAAAAAAAAAAIN.

It just started raining! Like, drone, mmmm, drooooooone... BOOM.
So clear and precise and exact and even it falls.

Wait, I can't believe it, the rain's stopped.

Like five seconds.

oh, it's starting again. Low to high now. I'm reminded of my tennis coach. Low to high, Stacy, not high to low! I feel like every muscle in my body's slackening. I'm afraid to pick up the book I have upstairs. I'm scared of the decision Ladybug's gonna make. That type of book where I actually try to feel what it's like to be in her shoes. Though I'm not truly in them yet.

I've had a particular obsession with candles lately. Leeelo.
I went to Marina Square with my 'rents just now. Came across a pretty quirky store. I wanted to get a tie. Cloth ones that you wear just for fun. But my mum, with all her practicality, convinced me otherwise. Apparently it wouldn't match any of the clothes I usually wear. And I couldn't wear it anywhere, anyway.

When on earth was the last time I bought something for fun? :/
wait, just today! GUESS WHAT I BOUGHT FROM THE DIY PLACE IN MARINA SQUARE.
Candles. Lovely, lovely candles.

I shall cab right back there and get that lovely tie.
I think.

oh gawwwwwwd.

I feel ill. Stomach churning. But in reality I'm okay, I'm totally fine, I just feel like shit. Well, not really. I feel okay. I just don't want to break the clockwork.

Last Words - Thousand Foot Krutch
Blood Brothers - Iron Maiden

My parents and my sister are watching baby videos.
I don't remember feeling like how I think I would be feeling at that time.
I can't recall myself in the airport, chewing gummy bears out of a packet.
I still remember curling myself into my doll. We fit perfectly. Our bodies were the same size. And now I'm so much taller and my doll seems much smaller, it's hard to think I was ever that small.

And I'm so much taller than previously but I still think I'm short.
gosh. We say so many things we don't mean.

Magazines fail to amaze, fyi.
"He took my virginity and made me a drug addict."
Pity, pity, oh yeah.

Ministry of Healths all over the world are concerned with bird flu and stuff. Actually, each day most people die of starvation. Sending food over to Africa and stuff would be a lot easier as compared to coming up with vaccines and stuff in the lab. Just put your stuff aside and help a bit. It won't hurt, I promise.

haha that sounded wrong.
WE'RE BLOOD BROTHERS
WE'RE BLOOD BROTHERS
WE'RE BLOOD BROTHERS
WE'RE BLOOD BROTHERS

even a litany like this fails to reach the hearts of the mainstream. Oh well.
There's really no reason why we should care.
We could leave all the starving people to starve.
Our lives wouldn't suck any less yeah. =D
wheee the rest can go ahead.

Imma helpin' the poor in Myanmar and the dolphins and the sharks when I graduate!

yay for the world we live in.

2006-05-01T08:42:00.000+08:00

Know what?
What?
I woke up at 8 today. After sleeping at 1am.
Liar.
I'm not lying. Why on earth would I be blogging at this time, then?
Fine, you're telling the truth.
You're such a horrible conscience.
Why?
What conscience doubts its bearer?
I didn't doubt you.
Yeah, and what did you just do?
Fine. Okay.

Some conversation I fabricated in my mind on the way to the bathroom.
It's true. I woke up at 8. Amazingly.
I'm the first one awake. For the first time in months.
The morning is beautiful and I shall not waste it. Hm. Cycling to the park, monkey bars, maybe I'll swing down at Hock's. I'm hungry, though. My stomach is positively burning.

I think my hair looks nicer after I just awake, as compared to after I washcombdry it and stuff.
Imma forest girl. :D
But seriously. It actually looks alive (though hair is, technically, dead except for the tiny bit nearest to the scalp). Breathing. wait, breathing hair would be freaky.
But it's better than being flat and tied up into a ruthless ponytail, the hairstyle which I've maintained for... forever.
I MIGHT CUT IT SHORT.
HENNA IT.
yeah.
I haven't combed it since I got up, anyway.
and fyi, yes, I did mean what I said in my previous post. I washed my hair last night/morning at about midnight. So under no grounds can you say that I'm a filthy girl for not washing my hair in the morning.

Look at the amount of text I've dedicated to my hair. :)

I like ships. Not those modern cruisers. The old fishing types. The one that took Katherine Tyler from Barbados to Wethersfield. The one where Katherine Tyler met Nathaniel Eaton.

{THE WITCH OF BLACKBIRD POND}

That rocked.

I'm a sucker for historical romances, but only those authentic both in setting and characters. The latest one I read (No shame, no fear) was horrible. Romance driven. Cheesy closure. Will and- shiti'veforgottenhername clinging on to each other for every single second!

Sappily syrupy. Shudder.

Don't cry. We won't be parted, I promise.

I liked that line though. Only because I like the word 'parted'. There's a nice ring to it.
Don't read that book.

ohoh see!
Yoceeda's msn nickname:
IMPORTANT! ~ The anime gang of class 2 faith is starting a blog. It's still not ready though...

Yay. Everyone loves the anime gang.
Though I dislike manga. Personally.
shhhhhhhhhhhhh

2006-05-01T00:03:00.000+08:00

HEY STACY YOU CAN DO IT.
I know you can.
It's just me who can't.

ohh and the knight came sailin' on a pretty ship
by the name of her ladyship the queen!
Elizabeth the first was her bonny name
and never a suitor had she.

My history book thing, or rather, a biography of Elizabeth I, is resting on the box beside my bed where my tennis racket usually rests. I stopped reading some months back. Too tedious. Too much informationnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. Sorrry, I feel drowsy. It's just that every few sentences, I get this urge to jot down everything I've read, and it gets tiring in the end. Like I can't just read for enjoyment. I have to be thorough and stuff and make meticulous notes.

So I give up.

But I think I'll start reading it again. Soon. I don't know when.

Returned from Robyn's house. The white rabbit is adorable. I miss Winter and Pampers.
Pampers and The White Rabbit share my birthday. I can't believe I forgot that.

We didn't go to Conway, actually. Just sat around, did homework, studied (a little), sang snatches of songs, had instant noodles. I laughed a lot. Almost spit out my soup, par normalement.

I'm getting kind of disheartened here.
friendfriendfriend where are you.
I think I'll be better after a bath. As always. And I shall wash my hair though it is ten minutes past midnight.

oh yeah, happy May, everyone who -cough- bothers to read.
And you get a virtual cookie if you comment.

on the otherhand, lufuopsis ab initio.
Refer to Ruby Enz for clarification. Ruby/(you know who you are), if you're reading this, don't tell! XP

2006-04-30T20:20:00.000+08:00

I'm using my dad's laptop. More accurately, his iBook or something which calls internet explorer Safari and other cool stuffs like that. Gosh. J'adore la keyboard. It's a bit hard to get used to it, though. No music files at all. No msn messenger. I'll be heading for Robyn's house in ten minutes, anyway.

I realize I've forgotten to blog about my MEP exam. Technically I don't need to, but we do a lot of things we don't need to do. ;)
I remember, when I still madly in love with Draco Malfoy (or at least the smirking arrogant Draco Malfoy as portrayed in fanfics, with whom Robyn was my fellow worshipper) I had this Draco Malfoy blogskin. And I made this post about guys and how they thought details were inane, and if a girl went "I completed my Maths homework!", they'd go all "yar lah, so what", or something along that line.

It's not false, you know. :/
I think that's kind of why it's mostly girls who have blogs. I've asked around a bit. Most guys say stuff like 'so wu liao lah' or 'my life's boring'. Bored people have no inner resources. hah.

But anyway, my MEP exam. Last Monday. Mrs. Tham.
I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE THE MORE LENIENT MR. CHER AS MY EXAMINER.
But due to 'time constraints', I got Mrs. Tham. Well, she's not that bad, even if she's strict.
So I entered the room. I sat down.
What's your name? Stacy. Shuffle of papers. Okay, /Stacy/, you can start now.
She put emphasis on my name, as if inwardly crowing, "See! I know your name! STACY. Your name's STACY. Oh wow, I'm so proud of myself."

Hm.

I messed up big time. Everything used to be perfect, my semiquaver runs, the light acciacaturas. But it was cold. My fingers stiffened. So did my nervousness. I stumbled on my hard-practised notes, inwardly cursing shitshitshitshit all the way. Especially during the semiquaver runs. Now Mrs. Tham thinks I need to go for this Hanon thing that prevents technical mistakes like that.

Second piece. Well, dang, I forgot the emotion and accented some notes too much. I interpreted it as an emotional piece in the sense that it was both sorrowful and angry. Y'know, upset and all.
But according to both Mrs. Tham and my piano teacher (I almost typed 'sorrowful teacher' here, ha), it's supposed to be touchingly sad.

Down with excessively sentimental pieces. DIE DIE DIE.

Off to Robyn's house now. Must remember to bring the candles.
yeah.

2006-04-30T13:17:00.000+08:00

I was rudely awakened, today, by my sister.
"Stacy! Kennji come already!"
Kenn Ji's my cousin. He's supposed to tutor me in Maths. Sunday, 9am. Crazy hour. :/
And I'd only just awoken.

Forced me to get ready in... five minutes. Fastest I've ever spent getting ready in the morning.

anyway, I think I'm actually going to understand algebraic equations.

I had an odd vision today.

That's what my mother would say when I was your age.

and now I wonder
if I could fall into the sky
d'you think time
would pass me by

-

HOLD IT.

and everything zips into a final halt. Backlashing into the wind.

Okay.

the wind
the world

I prefer the latter.
Though I love the former.
Sounds better, though, latter.

I haven't received a letter for so long.
Not in this age of technology.

heh, I feel pointless.
but is that a good thing?
pointlessness is neutral.
so there.

I SHALL GO CYCLING.

2006-04-29T22:35:00.000+08:00

Oh, by the way, I just did a good deed.
My dog was barking in the backyard. I switched on the lights, about to let him out of his pen, when I saw what was making him bark.

A cockroach. A real big one, on its back, struggling to right itself.

I got kind of jittery. No, I am not scared of cockroachs (that is, when they're not crawling on me, like that time a couple of years back...) I just. Okay.

Anyway. I prodded it with some cardboard thing till it was the right way up, and it scampered off. And then I scampered off. I'm not the squealygirly type but things with long stringy legs, slimy looking wings, insects that can fly -gulp- and crawl on your arm are not to be trusted.

But yay, I saved its life. So far lots of the cockroach poison thing that's been put out in the backyard without my knowledge has killed at least six of the roaches.

and who said that, did you? (with your elusive manner) HELLO commenters. :)

2006-04-29T22:05:00.000+08:00

So here I am, green tea by my side, just having eaten chocolate ice cream (which isn't all it's made out to be - next time I'm going with the mint) feeling guilty because I'm having evil thoughts, not studying for my Chinese tuition exam, my tshirt smeared with chocolate icecream.

Hello, it was literally dripping.

Besides. Chocolate ice cream in your mouth ruins the taste of green tea afterwards.

Enya's 'Only Time' is playing.

If you ask me, then yes, I am still feeling depressed.

You know. I used to (and still do) feel sort of put off by people who blog, like:

hahas. Today I went to j8 with blah and blah and blah! haha it was so fun. I bought earrings, three dollars only, so cheap! and then blah bought this really cute keychain doll, so kawaii lah! hahas. then we went to watch yaddayadda. the part where brad pitt did etc. was so OHMYGOSH lah. cabbed home. so fun!

All those inane stuff, absolutely boring.
But then I realize that when I grow up, the stuff I'll want to look back on will include the now-pronounced inane things. Because everything matters. As long as it's not recounted in the Bimbo Manner.

and here I am, left with brevity and brief recaps of my day, focusing more on WHERE MY THOUGHTS FLY. okay. okay. Yeah.

I feel very very very weird.

Can someone brief me on the whole PAP/WP/somethingP elections thing?
And the Thaksin issue, although that's not quite so recent anymore.
I hate being uninformed.
Or left out of stuff.
And it's too late to make sense of the newspaper now.

It's In The Rain
the chorus is nice, but the rest isn't that great.

okay, now it's Frankie J's
Obsession.
I like that song. And More Than Words.
But the phrase 'I love you' is extremely hard to utter. I mean, when I actually mean it, that is.
not that I've actually meant it, ever, as of yet.

mm, I'm thinking about my grandmother, for some reason.
I don't want to see my mum like that. Wrinkled, shrivelled, in pain - like my gran was on the hospital bed. My mum's young. Lots of vitality.
It's hard to imagine anyone dying.
wait, it's not that hard afterall. Sooner or later we all become empty shells, you know, dried up and stuff. And if we have souls, they go somewhere. Or die with us. Not that we should be too concerned about it.
When we exist, death does not. When death does, we don't.

Yay.

and off I go in some bout of thanatopsis.

ohmygosh I just discovered this great site.
http://dictionary.blogspot.com

I. Will. Not. Hesitate!

yay, go Stacy.

2006-04-29T19:21:00.000+08:00

The national library can be depressing when I'm there all by myself, a whole pile of books to lug around, with a phone that may or may not vibrate due to my dad's calls. The candle's burning now. Yesterday we had a blackout. I had to miss ten minutes of the last episode of The Undisclosed.

d'you think time
would pass us by

Something's wrong here, hey.

Somehow I'm telling myself that literature isn't my greatest passion anymore.
Maybe along the way, some great gust of wind came along and swept it away.
A winked-out candle which wouldn't last long anyway, but burned bright while it did.

I'm sick of Blogger and I don't love xanga anymore.
And I'm just holding out here aye.

The next time, if I still have a chance, I won't hesitate.

Pardonne-moi, for the lackadaisical depressing posts lately. I haven't really been myself these days, at least I don't think so. I'd always love to hear about how others perceive me, though.

Let the words start rolling!

2006-04-29T12:08:00.000+08:00

I discovered Xanga. I love it.
Think I'll switch to it sooner or later.
I'm feeling oh-so-nostalgic now.
Time to start packing my suitcase, eh?

I love you, failedpessimist.

Happy times from two years ago. :)

But I love Blogger too.
Blogger. Blogger. Xanga.
http://www.xanga.com/forchancedtrains
don't relink me yet. Hold it. Just stop.
http://judymaule.blogspot.com

oh, oh man.

give a damn

2006-04-28T13:15:00.000+08:00

I shall be leaving for school in fifteen minutes.

Why is it Je ne sais rien, instead of Je ne sais pas/Je sais rien?
French grammar confuses me sometimes. :/

I don't know nothin'.

I know nothin'.

They claim it's the same thing.

but doesn't I don't know nothin = I know something?

Okay. Of all things to do ten minutes before I leave for the hellhole, I've to be nitpicky about slang.

failedpessimist is like this really old stained piece of rag.
Precious rag. :3

I'm considering printing out all my blog posts, from 2004-2006.
So I've got something to look back on when I grow older.
I don't want all these to go to waste.
and my past follows me around, par normalement.

Vanessa Carlton rocks.
crashed on the floor when I moved in

So does Enya.
Jason Mraz.
Black Eyed Peas.

when she dances she goes and goes

{GREAT PEOPLE}

Je ne veux pas aller.
Sports Day. Sheesh.
Go blue, though.
My house tshirt is wide. Baggy sleeves. I look like some blue cream puff thing.
I like cream puffs, though. The way they just melt in your mouth.

in
white
houses

You see yourself in the mirror
And you feel safe coz it looks familiar
But you afraid to open up your soul
Coz you don't really know, don't really know
Who is the person that's deep within

2006-04-28T09:13:00.000+08:00

ooh whee.
I've decided that if I ever decide to relink, it shan't be this week.

And hey, it's 9.13 in the morning. I think I'll bathe. And then go cycling. Or for a walk.

It can be frustrating, being the only girl out of three boys+coach for tennis lessons.
That time coach hollered, "Everyone run one round. Last one to reach runs three extra!"

And I was all, shit, I'm not gonna make it.

The guys cut corners so I followed suit. They jostled, a lot. And dang they seemed to block my path wherever I ran.

So yeah I was the last to reach. But coach pitied me so I only had to run two extra.
It's okay, actually. The tennis court is really small. Three extra rounds is like, about 100-200m.
but I don't think it'll be the last time that I come in last for sprinting.

We played doubles. Coach paired up with me, against Kenneth and Andrew.
It'll be hard to explain how the game works so I shan't.
oh, because I merely suspect that one of the guys deliberately gave me easy shots so I could receive them, b'cos I'm just a beginner. ~~Or a female beginner. >.<~~

If I guessed correctly, then gah. Chauvinism in the form of sympathy. I guess I should appreciate that. Or maybe I'm just looking too deep into it. :/

all my sistas yeah

2006-04-27T23:37:00.000+08:00

Well, shit. Sports Day tomorrow. Maybe it'll be boring, maybe it'll be fun.

Sometimes I feel weird sms-ing people. My message, the one I'm typing painstakingly, ending up in someone else's inbox. The wonders of technology. :O

Someone I don't know just smsed me. Hi stacy! hehe
I asked for his/her name. The (by default) hermaphrodite didn't answer my question, just said something absolutely inane, in major l33t. And smth like 'how r u'.
~~Psycho.~~

Imma deleting stuff from my inbox now. Over 100 stuffs from last December.
Just deleted everything in my outbox. I feel liberated. And sentimental.
Dang right.

WAIT. The hermaphrodite smsed me again.
Cant tell u! Hmm.. so u r in chij st nick gals sch rite?

Anonymous people who sms me, beware. muahaha.

People have loved me and people have hated me and people have been angry at me and people have -choke- flirted with me. Those anonymouses, of course.

Anonymous. Es.
Anonymouses.
Mouses.
Mice.
Cowards.

I'm pretty much stuck. Stacie Orrico still rocks yeah.
It's t-rue.

judymaule.blogspot.com

!&^%$&@*&&%

23 48 now.
12 more minutes.
Final cadence.

Shall it be perfect?

Imperfect, I s'pose. I'm still awaiting the reply of the hermaphrodite.
Probably a guy.

2006-04-27T22:05:00.000+08:00

http://judymaule.blogspot.com/

I might be relinking. But even if I do, thou shalt not relink me.

I feel some odd sense of closure. Not as in the type where gosh, I shall drown in my self pity, pining for my loved one every single night, feeling his kiss on m- pfft. (this brings to mind memories of that Amanda Quick romance novel, where Lavinia and Tobias had a couple of sex scenes in the story which were put there just for the purpose of having smut in the story)

S-hudder.

It's like hey, things seem different, everyone's changing.

Nick's got a new blog url. So has Robyn. So has Greg.
And then things are kinna feeling different. It's like something in the air yeah.
I'm getting caught up in this weird weird whirlwind. Some need for renewal and fresh beginnings and stuff.

Like if I don't follow the winds this time I'll be left behind for a long, long time.

Everywhere stuff's changing. Strange stuffs.

I've hit an all time low and this is where I start deciding, hein.
Sheesh, I don't even know if this shall be my farewell post.

I knew I felt different somehow.

SOMEHOW SOMEWHAT POSSIBLY.

and as usual, I'm undecided.

Well like I said.
Closure.
Fini.

Peut-etre.

2006-04-27T17:55:00.000+08:00

This computer is superlaggy.
It annoys me to no end.
but anyway.

Apart from green tea, I'm glad today's over.
I gave up halfway, during today's maths class test. It was, omg I can't do so many of these questions, oh nevermind, I'll just try. Oh my god, I can't do this. Let's go on to the next question. Shit I can't do that either, and jeez the next question is horrible. Heck. I can't do a single question. I'm so effing useless, see.

and right there and then I slump down onto the table and refuse to even look at the paper anymore.

No, not exactly.

I tried, I tried, I tried. I lunged into some pit of self-pity. What's y square blah blah? oh gosh I seriously need tuition. I should've asked my cousin to tutor me last saturday, dang, I give up, I give up.

so yeah. I'd very much like to say that I'm not a maths naturale and maths isn't meant for me, and while that's partly true it's not wholly so. I think I'm pretty good at some topics, if not kickass.

but yeah, my grades are slipping. Declining.
I hate maths, I nearly failed Chinese (62/100), I'm flunking science, my hockey skills are gone, I can't serf over the net in tennis, my geog grades depend solely on memory, history's boring, mep sucks, I can't do melodic dictation, I don't have a natural ear for music, and every year my NAPFA standard goes down.

To hell with school.

but I'm acting like a whiny little brat yeah.
So I need to pay more attention during tuition. I need to try harder during training sessions. I need to listen to more types of music. I need to jog more to better my 2.4 timing.

solutions found.
case closed.
or not.

oh, and I can't write anymore.
or maybe it's just a really really bad 5 month long writer's block.

Everyone, I command you to pity me!

and off I go to wallow in my own tears amidst weepy Latin music.

-

Tennis today. Now there're 3 ACSI guys training.
Yet again, I'm the only girl.
Me in my pinafore, looking out of place beside three shirtshorts clad guys.
wait, didn't I use to be in a co-ed school? So I should be used to that?
maybe I'm getting used to being in an all girls' school.
Heck no, I... hope not.

I've always been some what like a tomboy. Though a tomboy that -cough- people perceive as gentle and demure. At least I don't scream at the sight of cockroaches or rats etc.
And my grades are't all that good anyway.
So how on earth did I end up in st.nicholas, which is supposed to be a good school, on top of being all girls?

Sometimes I bore myself. Okay.
I have a feeling that after I get myself out of this perpetual slump, which is almost like minor depression, I won't be quite like myself ever again.

Vanessa wants me to read her manga comic thingesque. I have it in my bag right now.
Never really liked manga stuffs, except the occasional Sailor Moon show when I was younger. I loved collecting Sailor Moon cards then, but only because I found her pretty. :3
Then.
oh and for a while I read this celestial thing.
Apart from that I haven't really read any manga comics. I don't like them but since Van's lent hers to me anyway, I'll give it a try.
and then I'll turn back to the crappy romance between Lavinia something and Tobias March.

J.K. Rowling, hurry up already.

2006-04-26T22:16:00.000+08:00

It was summer in the early year, as always, and the sun was stiff in its cloud, undoubtedly oblivious. Then the larks came in hordes, bridging the gap between mortality and celestial stars, and they sang. The clouds jostled into the cracks, the forgotten crannies, and they grew, and the larks left, and the sun was a pawn in their hands, and it rained.

-

They were there. Pendulums swinging their heavy curved paths, going somewhere, reaching somewhere, never knowing which was which until- stop. Some breath of life there, oh, there was? The pendulum either paused, or reached, didn't know. Passed through the gaps to discover, returned came returned came, and the pendulum started swinging.

it's swingin' it's swingin' it's swingin'.
and oh can't it stop again.

And she was blatant, the abused metaphors, crude oil to make a fine dish. Hey it almost worked. Her mood, horribly versatile, either this, either that. Compromise enter, oh but it just smoothed over the wrinkles and the creases, but they're still there.

oh, wow.

-

-hugs-
hey Greg, hey Mary-Anne.

2006-04-26T20:41:00.000+08:00

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh... you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

his lyrics are the best, Daniel Powter.
A little abstract yeah, it's almost like poetry. They say there isn't any definite meaning to an abstract poem because it all depends on your intepretation of it.
Well I had a bad day. I feel bad and I feel guilty because while I'm slamming my maths homework on the table and grinding my fists into the table and feelin' like crying (yeah just because I can't understand algebraic expansion, how lame's that), there're kids out there who'd kill to go to school. And then I'm disgusted at the limp piece of fried egg on my plate, and I still feel guilty, cos there're people in the world who've never tasted an egg, don't know what an egg's like, and are starving right now.

I try to convince myself otherwise sometimes.
You know- just because there're other people out there who covet and envy what we have, doesn't mean we shouldn't be allowed to show emotion. Like just because there're kids out there who'd kill to go to school, doesn't mean we shouldn't be allowed to feel angry at our workload. Different lives, different perspectives and all - the whole one thought won't cater to the whole world thing.

and yeah, there's a point to that, but I still feel guilty.

Wonder what it's like to be in a slum yeah? Or how it's like to live in poverty. No food, no water, and heck - no proper shitting place. No bed. No computer. No books. Like it's a war-zone, minus the nuclear.

I'm horribly pampered.
Like I've never taken the MRT alone before.
I get very possessive sometimes.
I get very jealous sometimes.
I throw temper tantrums sometimes and yet get irritated when others have tantrums.
Sheesh, I'm a horrible person. For some part.
I'm not gonna degrade myself and say that I don't have a nice side.

Hell's bells.

No offence, Liu Yi.
Amanda Quick isn't the best writer where plots are concerned.
not that I can do better, but it's easy to tell bad from good.
Her characters aren't very...
Nevermind. I shall finish reading first.

Well I had a bad day.
I need a hug.

2006-04-26T18:50:00.000+08:00

I've been a happy girl today.
Or a seemingly happy girl. :/
man, I don't know when to smile and when to frown. Aliens have taken control of my face. Or something like it. blah blah, blah.
I haven't put my hair in braids for ages, heehaw.
Not that I want to.

I'm gonna write part II of my will.
Later, or tomorrow.
but shit, I need to study for chem.

I like being happy. :/
Maths defies happiness.

MY WILL

2006-04-25T20:20:00.000+08:00

Stacy's Will

25th April 2006

(just in case she dies anytime soon)

Okay. I don't want a funeral based on any religion.

It shall be held at the tiny field at the dead end of Colchester Grove, and there shall be no burning of joss sticks or candles. Please. In fact, there shall be flowers. Lilies and carnations, frangi panis (I insist), hibiscuses, roses, and the like. Bouquets and bouquets of them. That's all. Scattered on the ground.

Don't leave any rubbish behind, or my soul shall return to haunt y'all.

My coffin can be propped up on a normal table, and music shall be playing. Any sort, really. Rock's fine, R&B's fine, classical's fine. Ohoh play Once Upon A December! You can find the midi file in my computer. The password is _.

Cremate me if you like. Scatter some of my ashes in that same field, yeah. Help me send a card to my primary school, telling that how much I'd missed them, even when I was in sec2.

Whatever money you can find in my box by my bedside, my plastic box in Sini's room. Okay. 10% each shall go to Robyn and Paula. 5% to Saranya, Amanda, Pei Ying. Each yeah. Oh, and give Greg some. You know. So he can buy a new pair of shoes. Or that cap. XD

The rest will go to my parents. It ain't much anyway. :D

Gosh I'm acting like I'm dead already.

whatever you do, don't attempt to close down this blog.

All my CDs and books and clothes and stuff go to my sister. It's a small haul, anyway...

Robyn gets... err... oh yeah! My science notes! okay. She gets my diary. And my roller skates.

This material possessions thing is hard. :/

Let's skip to last words. Highlight.

Cheryl

commence: Hey Cheryl! Okay. You're an okay person. Frankly -okay, frankly- I've never really treated us as like, bestest friends or anything, and sometimes our msn conversations get boring, and sometimes real life conversations dry up because I suddenly kinda lose interest in wonkeys and wombats (mood swings, pardonne-moi ^^;), and I admit I haven't treasured our friendship as much as I should've. I'm sorry.

I know I've been distant, desolee. You're nice to laugh with, y'know? Initially I thought of you (when our classes just merged) as merely another acquaintance. But here I am, including you in my last words list. XD

I don't know what to say.

You're great, okay. You're really smart. And you're wacky. GO CHERYL hahah. So before I die, I'm letting you know that you've been quite a good friend. (: Oh and it was nice working with you at TP.Let's do it again this June! fini.

Greg

commence: Hey Greg! hahah. Gosh. I've never really met a guy like you before. You like shoes. You like caps. You're obsessed with Buffy and The O.C. You write well. You hate Maths. You like lit. You're tall. You're funny. So. I remember we got along really really well when we were tagging each others' blogs, but everything fizzled out during our first msn conversation. But somehow during our last conversation we got along like clockwork, yet again. XD

I was all, hey, he's just another guy - that is, when Cheryl was telling me about you. There was a point where I was kind of of the impression that you were whiny... okay, you didn't see anything. Dang. How come last words come so slowly. Hm. I can't say much, just that you'd be nice to get to know better. :D fini.

Nick

commence: hey, if you're reading. Okay, I know you are.

so things have been pretty forced lately yeah. ...tuesday morning, I know, hahah. So let's start from the beginning: For the first few conversations when we were still in the introduction stage, I thought you were a tad boring. We didn't talk for a month or so, and then we started chatting again, well, almost everyday. You're like, one-of-a-kind. ^^;

hmm. okay. So you like green tea, you're a kickass badminton player, you play the guitar, you write you like maths you're optimistic you're good at chinese you're tall you hate msh you love music you sing you know french you're good at cheering people up you're great to talk to you rock. Etc. So before I die I shall tell you that you've been a great friend, even well, yeah, I haven't been much of a friend lately. but cheers. :) fini.

Paula

commence: Gosh Paula. Started way back in kindergarten. And then by sheer coincidence, your family moved to like, the house right behind my house. When I was 5 and you were 6. :) I know you think of your pretty house near the beach... okay. You miss your rabbits. Peggy. You quarrel with your mum. I haven't been a great friend. 'Fact, I don't think I've ever been a great friend to anyone. i've always been... somewhat self-centered. ^^;

So I'm sorry I neglected you, sort of, for not sympathising wholly, for not being there when you needed your friends the most. Kay so you've been like one of my best friends ever since kindergarten. We donned sweaters, wore our sunglasses, went out in the hot sun and pretended to be spies. We plotted against the guys together, had some amateurish but enjoyable games of badminton, hahah, before we became kind of good at the game. we 'prayed' for you, hoping you'd do well for your psle. Hahah, remember that time, Robyn and I? At Conway?

And I remember Ling yu and I taught you to cycle as well! heh.

I vaguely remember stuff.

I was the bookworm because I read so much.

You became the cycling worm because after you learnt how to cycle, you couldn't get enough of it. XD

SSC, remember. Secret Spies Club. The club that we set up when we were in primary 2/3, to, err, go against the guys in our neighbourhood.

gosh. oh gosh. we played monopoly in your house a lot. The shuttlecock, when we played badminton, always got caught in the leaves of the trees outside your house. You always used your slipper to try and get it down, and more than once it got caught up there.

so much stuff, man. I'm gonna compile a scrapbook. Remind me to do so before I die, kay? fini.

Robyn

commence: ROBYN HEY ROBYN. You there, right? I can't believe you're changing blogurls. You not being appergal would be strange, surreal. Heck we're all growing up aye. well, maybe not. I don't know. So. FELLOW DMHG SHIPPER. Fellow English lover. Fellow hantuitioner. Fellow ex-zpser. First met you on the schoolbus. And I ended up in your Chinese class. You had long hair then! I kept waving to you. And then Ling yu and I visited your house. And we started going out cycling from then. HAHA Paula and I taught you how to cycle. ;)

Robyn = fun. Okay.

ROBYN AH.

HEY ROMEO. -cough-

wherefore... art thou... romeo. Or something. Heck Shakespeare, for the moment.

Before I die, you should know that:

Robyn is great. Robyn rocks. Robyn is omnipotent and almighty and her feet rock and her shoes rock and-

oh gosh I just remembered we always went fishing in the drain. Bending our backs for hours on end, trying to get That guppy or That tadpole. We'd use anything as nets; containers, cups, plastic bags, whatever.

okay, I just realized it's been pretty weird. I guess I'm so used to lifeatzps that it seems weird that now I've got new secondary school friends and so do you. Weirdness.

I suddenly feel nostalgic. -bursts into tears-

ONE DAY. One day. One day I shall teach you to play the piano. and tennis. Yes. :)

ROBYN ROCKS ROBYN IS GREAT ROBYN IS ALMIGHTY.

fini.

SNG Schoolmates

commence: Mary-anne, you're great to talk to, even if we've disagreed alot on occasion. Liu Yi, Pei Hwa, you guys rock. Pei Hwa, okay, I didn't really like you at the start of last year. But now I think you're really great. Liu yi, you've been great from the start yeah. :) Kerina/Erin/Calista, never really thought much of you guys, but hello. Natalie, hey. Ugenie, you're a really great forward, you're a really great person. Hey Joy. Gosh. I was so lonely last year until you asked me if you could partner me. you know, during the whole sec1 orientation thing. XD Vanessa, DANNYL ROCKS. Okay -cough- you're fun to be around. Yoceeda, hey. Hey Esthers. Hey Denise, Isabelle (2C), hey Delphine, hey Rachel. Hey. fini.

Stefi

commence: so I haven't been the greatest sister yeah. Sorry. fini.

So, before I die. (:

2006-04-25T19:50:00.000+08:00

Been looking through some of my ancient -or not- smses. Birthday greetings, in particular.

Lalala. Have a sweet 13
Robyn, 12.18pm

-insert picture here-
HAPPY BIRTHDAY,MERRY X'MAS n HAPPY NEW YEAR
Uncle Chin Long, 7.13pm

hey, i just got back from hk, and i remember its your b'day. hahah. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! sorry about the late greeting.
Jessica, 3.02am, one day later

aww. that's all, I think.
Happy Birthday to me!
In advance. Way, way in advance.

Been deleting lots of smses, keeping alot s'well, cos I'm a schmaltz, tu souviens?

Hmm. Oui.

Stacy...? Oui.
Stacy. Ooi.

One of the perks of being in French class, when the professeur is marking attendance.
J'AI LE TRAC.

Man I miss Track. Weird guy, but nice.
He was funny! For some part.
And he was friends with Sanjay.
Remember Russell and Alex(ander).
Gosh, these guys, they all transferred out.
Somehow French class will never be French class again without them. These wonderful wonderful people. Russell's migrated or something. Alex's gone back to Britain, or wherever in Europe he lives.

hey it's the 25th of april.

Our history project is pretty boring.
Maybe it's just our teacher.
Approximately one month ago, I was truly madly deeply in love with history.
And before that. And before that.

2006-04-25T17:58:00.000+08:00

Dang. I shall FAIL chem, I tell you. Wait, lemme get this right - elements in the same group have the same number of valence electrons, and those in the same period have the same number of shells... okay. I can do this.

Just spare me the equation balancing thing.
Because I'm too lazy to study any of it.

Though it's not hard to see why people initially thought I was a hardworking intelligent diligent girl, you know, seeing as the whole quiet=studious stereotype exists. pffffft.

Okay. I used to be a downright bitch. In primary school I was insufferably spoilt.
I think.
Gosh, I haven't been tagged by any of my primary schoolmates for so long.
And yet... and yet I love them the most! oh gosh oh gosh. Something doesn't add up here.

I wish people were as easy to analyze as storybook characters.

Unfortunately no.

I got seaweed in my mouth, yo. Spicy and stuff.
My mum got that bee chung something (ba gua? argh.) something.
You know, once you've gotten used to running, five or six entire rounds can pass by in a blur. Once you're done, you breathe heavily for a while, and after about five minutes you're fine. But that's the entire gist of it all, I suppose. If we actually fully remembered the pain and exhaustion we went through when running, we wouldn't want to do it again. Like mothers and childbirth, ew.

My dog sings.
I swear.

HAHAH I just read my boredompoem a few posts ago. That was so incredibly lame. XD

Well. W-ell.
Today was boring.

LOTS OF STUFF TO DO AND
sometimes I hate myself.

You know sometimes you really really dislike someone, e.g. when they always follow you around, and then you can't stand it halfway and you 'abandon' that person while they're eating mushroom rice, and you look back and see how pathetic that person is and can't help feeling guilty but you walk on anyway.

Baroque pieces, I realize, require a degree of somewhat forceful indifference. Musta be detached, ruthlessly unsentimental, moving from chord to chord swiftly. So it's pretty much all technical and stuff. Allegro's like that. Gotta get rid of those romantic notions.

Life's like that though.

But I'll choose to play the Chopin piece.

risefallrisefall

la la LA la la la la

come in, without there!

2006-04-25T10:21:00.000+08:00

I met the sk8er boi I said see ya later boi.
I'll be backstage after the show.

In school now. Precarious position, teacher might see me.
HISTORY HECK.
Okay, I don't like history anymore.
Geography, yet, :3.

2006-04-24T22:12:00.000+08:00

plus que mots.
A rather crude translation, I think, but it's a pretty nice song. :/
only... Spanish. Not French. Right.
Mrs. Tam is harsh, dang, but okay. Okay.

So said the giant to the giant
What is it us giants should do?
I stay home all day feeling oh-so-bored
don't you feel the boredom too?
It buzzes around like a stupid bee,
and it just won't go away.
It's such a horrible sight to see
because as my mamma always says-
boredom exists to be fulfilled
not lounge around like this.
Bees need honey, boredom needs stuff
_.

I felt bored, yeah.
Too lazy to figure out that last line.
and today I started on a new story. Yet again.
prob'ly will go down the recycle bin.
Get me outta this chute, pfft.

2006-04-24T18:14:00.000+08:00

N'est pas bon.
Our lit play wasn't good. Stumbled over some lines, had to continuously prompt Macbeth, had some in-between breaks to retrieve a forgotten prop, every play's nightmare. The radio conked out. And Liuyi/erin/peihwa/kerina, sorry if I got too overbearing at some point. I tend to... err, voluntarily put myself in charge when I think things aren't going too well. Unless someone else's already in charge.
So many things were impromptu. Bajeebus, f'only Kerina could've come for our rehearsals.
But nevermind. It's already over. :)

2.4.!
I didn't do well.

We ran during PE. After which we had height/weight taking sessions.
Apparently I've lost weight, gotten shorter, and run slower than I did last year.

on a sidenote, I don't really mind being short.
GUESS HOW TALL I AM.

Tall people are evil. :/
oh, I just realized I've insulted-
um. Basically all the guys I know.
and Robyn, who has left for the world of height160+ people, abandoning me on the island of shorthood.

BUT HAHA I'M TALLER THAN PAULA YAY.
Dear Paula,
I hope things get better b'tween you and your mum and your sis.
Drink lots of green tea and ribena.
Do well for your 2.4, your five items, your exams. The only one who needs to reap pride from your efforts is yourself. GO PAULA GO PAULA GO PAULA GO PAULA GO PAULA GO PAULA GO PAULA GO PAULA! Cheetah! hahah. XD
okay, I'm gonna print this out and put it in your letterbox. -lurks-
and don't grow up so fast 'kay. Because the world needs more kids like us.
you can cry if you want to. B'cos that's what everyone should do yeah!
PAULA PAULA PAULA
thanks for the notebook, all the little stuffs.
After your exams, we shall cycle somewhere!
we'll play badminton for three hours straight like we used to do.
we'll do the monkey bars till our old calluses can be seen again.
we'll go on the swing and as usual, you'll be able to swing higher than me. Remember right? Remember which swings we always take? The ones at conway?
we'll take zuess for a walk! we'll go visit robyn's rabbit. :)
and we'll remember Perse (two of them, mine and yours), Chubby and Cupid, and Peggy, and Ashley, and Fortune, and Sirius (remember my tiny black rabbit? he's still buried in my garden), and Snowball and Jelly and Cuddles, and my very first dog Celia, and my very first kitten, well, Kitty.
we'll go fishing in the drain, hahah. Even though there aren't many fish left.
we'll go visit our old kindergarten! Remember Mdm Loo?
I remember our old stints. We used to be such extroverted tomboys, cycling past the guys in our neighbourhood and teasing them stuff like 'peeping tom, peeping tom'. Although we didn't really know what that meant back then. XD
we were practically at war with the guys in the oval dais.
haha, now my attitude's kind of changed towards guys, but you still dislike them - as usual. I think? hmm. Well. Rock on, Paula. :)

-

man, I'm getting nostalgic. For hockey today my face turned red, which is rather surprising because it never turns red. It usually turns... white. Ashen.
BUT a-nyway.

Science and maths test on the same day, I just realized. :/

2006-04-23T21:45:00.000+08:00

Yiying just called me. Class message - please remember to bring my thermometer tomorrow, and pass the message to Wenman please.
How on earth did they get my-

Oh, right. Not that I mind, exactly- it's just scary when classmates you think you'll never ever really talk to suddenly call you up and tell you to bring your thermometer to school the next day.

And 2Faith never really was very pro-class unity.
Some people think we're a lot more united as compared to last year. Because last year when our people took part in competitions and stuff, we didn't cheer for them. But now, because some of us take the initiative to cheer, we have morphed into an extremely united class.

Cheering, bleck.

I cheer for 2Faith in my heart. -cough
Sometimes.

I've got faith in mah heart
I've got faith in mah hea-rt
I've got faith in mah heart
an' in mah soul
in mah soul!

Though I can't say I'm someone who loves 2Faith wholly, I did like our counsellors. They rocked. They kicked ass. They sang well.

and they were awesomely cool. :)

I love my hockey stick.
till death do we part!
I should give it a name.
I should give her a name.
I gave my old bike (the one passed down from my cousin) a name. Forgot what it is.

The house is crawling with Stefi's fake spiders and beetles and ants.
She put some in my hair. Or attempted to.
She hid some in the piano.
She sprawled them all over my father's desk.
And she's still got a whole lot more of them in that plastic silver hat.
Lordy, help. :/

He was a girl
She was a boy

I can't help it. I accidentally mixed up the lyrics, shut up.

I hate cheese. I absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely hate cheese.
Actually I kinda like it. oh, I don't know.
Love hate. DMHG.
Gosh, I haven't fanficked for so long.

and according to Yoceeda, well-

anyway.

Yoceeda: You write fanfics right?
Stacy: Err, used to, not anymore.
Yoceeda: -about to say something when I interrupt her-
Stacy: How do you know I write fanfics? (or wrote)
Yoceeda: It's like everyone's talking about -stacy's fanfics-, stacy's fanfics.

Wtf. Of all things I have to become famous for, my... fanfics.
And I sincerely doubt it's -everyone- who talks about them.
hahah, think it's just the anime gang. Manga gang. Manga group. They're like fanfic crazy, XD.

well.

My LJ fic-
has been long abandoned, ever since I got hopelessly sick of it. Come on, I was unreasonably romantic. Lily studies in the astronomy tower. James is an arrogant prick, which is totally normal. but I dragged the whole thing for too long, a whole lot of unnecessary angsting, till I gave up and stopped writing. In general.

My witchofblackbirdpond fanfic-
a cheesy title that doesn't suit the story. My first completed novel, which is cause for some sort of pride, but in the end it's lousy.

My one-shots are mostly pointless (except for some which I really like, mostly because of the writing style) and made for the sole point of seeing a particular couple kiss in the end. I was all about the whole 'sealed with a kiss' thing.

But... okay. okay.
At least they like my crap.

I need to find masking tape but I can't.
NAPFA tomorrow. Wait, I shall now-

okay. I've drunk one mug of water. Which is pretty amazin' cos what I drink is strictly limited to green tea, coke, chrysanthemum, and the occasional gulp of water. But Mr. Phee says drinking lots of water the night before 2.4 prevents stitches, and I'd do anything that could get that A for my run, so yeah.

oh, before I forget-

happy birthday, d-addy. :)

he's older than Singapore!
okay, that was lame.
But he's 43 this year. Or 44.
either way- he's overseas now, and he'll never ever read this, but yeah.

LIU YI.
I have superpsychic powers.
I found your torch, hahah.
yes I did.
whee I rock.

2006-04-23T19:06:00.000+08:00

Foolish little girl isn't having second thoughts.
For the first four to five rounds, it's mostly physical strength.
When it comes to the sixth, forget physical, it's all mental.
Let's clear that round to a shiny first place.

As JoJo said
keep on keepin' on

2006-04-23T17:03:00.000+08:00

That feeling, when you get angry at yourself -no, feel like getting angry at yourself all of a sudden. I shouldn't have made her cry. I shouldn't have made that pass. I shouldn't have said that, shouldn't have done that.

Shouldn't have bought that book, shouldn't have gone cycling, shouldn't have acted like a stupid goat without its hind legs. Shouldn't be blogging now. Shouldn't have acted like a frikkin' introvert, cos it'd give people the wrong idea, you know, they'd think I didn't like them or something. Shouldn't have pitied myself, got so pathetic, shouldn't have said all this because I only feel like getting angry but I'm not angry yet.

blah blah, blah.

Been practising Allegro-

see. Shouldn't have waited for so long.

-since four. And Prayer of The Matador.

It's all a laugh, Goober, a fake.

It's tiring to analyze motives and personalities. It's like trust, could always backfire on you. Way risky, it's all guesswork, you don't know if you're right or wrong. But if you lose yourself in the moment, your guard falls down, and maybe there is a motive, maybe you've unwittingly pointed the gun at yourself, maybe you overestimate or underestimate.

And in the end, you congratulate yourself on having successfully deceived yourself.

oh hey, bring up the loonies.

2006-04-23T12:58:00.000+08:00

http://onlyskindeep.blogspot.com/

oh, wow. She's so candid.

I'm middle-aged at thirteen, fifteen.
Let's all skip school tomorrow!
Routines suck all the life outta life.

Robyn's having her DEP interview either now, or soon... oh. It's 1.04pm now.
Bonne chance robyn. Hope they don't drill you too hard.
GET INTO DEP OKAY.

Unlike me, who got my sorry ass in MEP.
I've even got an MEP exam tomorrow.
GODDDDD.

she turns on tv
guess who she sees
sk8er boy rocking up mtv
she calls up her friends
they already know

I actually like that song.
Previously I thought it was just some annoying juvenile rant.

Rock on, Avril.

and this is just so pretty:

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball

and my sister is uber annoying, par normalement.

A propos, I shall fail my French test.
wait, no, I don't think so.
I won't score well - but i'll almost certainly pass.

I hope.

Hope, whose whisper would have given
Balm to all my frenzied pain
Spread her wings and flew to heaven
Fled, and ne'er returned again.
-
Emily Bronte. Last stanza of her really nice poem, Hope.

Hope is a form of self-deception, but in this case, deception can be good.

2006-04-22T22:49:00.000+08:00

It's a laugh, Goober, a fake. Don't disturb the universe, Goober, no matter what the posters say.

Sadly that's quite true. You try to disturb the dormant volcano, it blows up at you.

It's come to the point where people are scared to be different, where people are scared of the different. More or less.

I am a lesbian. Fear me.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
no, wait, people have always been afraid of those different from them.
So afraid that they push them down, make them feel like dirt, make em feel inferior.
Just because, ooh lala, they're different. Run away!

Well. I can't say I'm innocent.

No one's ever innocent.

Say, if there's a God, what if one day he gets angry at people not believing in him, with the dominance of Science, and he decides to show himself to the world...

It'll absolutely disprove the fact that God is based on faith alone.
And there'll be scientists and all that trying to account for the miraculous appearance of God, in full physical form, because anything physical is matter and all matter is made up of atoms and the like, which can be revealed via Science...

And the whole debate will start all over again.

But that's just my little fantasy.

Ring about the rosy
A pocket full of posies
Ashes, ashes
We all fall down

2006-04-22T22:20:00.000+08:00

Why all the pretense?
That mask must be heavy.
but that aside.

I love the line
this one goes out to the one I love.

There's that passionate oomph there.
strangely relished.

Rock band strutting their stuff on stage. Final (or not) bow.
Encore! Encore!
The leader accepts, and yells into the microphone, "This one goes out to the one I love!"

No, that wasn't right. I give up.

Allegro has some difficult semiquavers, n'est pas facile, but pretty.
The spirit is lovely.
And Prayer of The Matador, oh gosh, the final fight in the arena. DA dada dadada DA DA DA.
hahah, okay, that was a futile attempt.

Imagine a sweat streaked man. The bars rise to give way to his doom.

And then he dies.

A decrescendo, ritard., lift up your fingers but the pedal lingers like a ghost.

Lift your foot and everything dies out.

Poof.

He's dead.

Unlike the jubilant game of tag in Allegro.

this is for the ones that stood their ground

2006-04-22T21:04:00.000+08:00

One big bruise of a sky.

The sunrise a few days ago was tres belle.
Nickelback rocks, and I like Green Day's drummer. That crazay lookin' guy who's just fab.

Gravity's sucking me down. Major suction thingy.
Shit, wasn't the night still young?

Dawn, pretty dawn.
I feel stupid.
Do not be assured, do not assure.

I think our Macbeth play's pretty nice.
If only Kerina bothered to turn up for rehearsals. mm.

Gosh. Down with groupwork, yeah?
I know I'm terribly selfish.
No more groupwork, pl...ease.

Write to express emotions.

Oh gah, but when I haven't any emotions?

When every day's a vacuum-

no, waaiit. All the trivial things pressing down on that tightly shut cylinder inside of me, which can't dispel its attackers because there's nothing inside at all.

I love physics.

ply the air with tractors

2006-04-22T19:27:00.000+08:00

Cheryl's going to Taxi!

Psyche. says:
I'm going to Taxi with Joanne.

ply the air with tractors says:
after this?

Psyche. says:
Yeah.

ply the air with tractors says:
ohh... okay then

Psyche. says:
Probably going.

Psyche. says:
):

ply the air with tractors says:
hahah, expected, i suppose?

Psyche. says:
Okay...

Psyche. says:
But I will miss everyone.

Psyche. says:
D:

ply the air with tractors says:
aww

Psyche. says:
EXCEPT.

ply the air with tractors says:
take saturday classes then

ply the air with tractors says:
same time

Psyche. says:
Petra, Belle and Neusha.

ply the air with tractors says:
maybe you'll get nourredine!

Psyche. says:
The rest are missable.

ply the air with tractors says:
haha. yeah.

Psyche. says:
We are.

Psyche. says:
We are getting Nourredine.

ply the air with tractors says:
you are? seriously?

ply the air with tractors says:
that's nice

Psyche. says:
I think so.

Psyche. says:
It's at 9 am!

Psyche. says:
The classes.

Psyche. says:
Until 12.

ply the air with tractors says:
i'd only go to taxi IF so did dominic, claudia and lydia

ply the air with tractors says:
i mean

Psyche. says:
Okay...

ply the air with tractors says:
i've been with them for like 3 years already

Psyche. says:
I KNOW!

ply the air with tractors says:
yeeaah

-

haha, 'twas like some poorly disguised weepy farewell. Sort of.
meh. Cheryl and Joanne want to go to Taxi; y'know, the whole 'higher level of learning' and all. And I realize that I, too, want to learn the more advanced French stuff. I hate being left behind.

But I also hate leaving people behind.
Dominic's really wacky and fun and can't be lived without.
Claudia and Lydia have been around for so long that to be without them would be unthinkable.
I even like the others, yes, Cheryl - even Petra, Neusha and Belle. Although I could live without them.

But let's wait for our results to come out first.

If I do qualify for Taxi, I shall burst into tears and not know what to do.
Maybe not, but yes...
If I go to Taxi, I might get Nourredine, so hey. That'll be a plus.

The downsides, though.

I don't believe in general priority, but the cliche 'go with your heart' phrase.
However, it becomes quite a chore when your heart's shredded and stuff.
I want to go up. I want to stay with my friends.
Psh.
But I'm only postulating that Dominic/Claudia/Lydia won't qualify or won't want to go to Taxi, so we shall see. I repeat, when our results come out.

gosh. I've angsted for so long, bletch.

Have a cookie.

Jerry raised himself toward the voice, needing to answer it. He had to answer. But he kept his eyes shut, as if he could keep a lid on the pain that way. But it was more than pain that caused an urgency in him. The pain had become the nature of his existence but this other thing weighed on him, a terrible burden. What other thing? The knowledge, the knowledge: what he had discovered. Funny, how his mind was clear suddenly, apart from his body, floating above his body, floating above his pain.

"It'll be all right, Jerry."

No it won't. He recognized Goober's voice and it was important to share the discovery with Goober. He had to tell Goober to play ball, to play football, to run, to make the team, to sell the chocolates, to sell whatever they wanted you to sell, to do whatever they wanted you to do. He tried to voice the words but there was something wrong with his mouth, his teeth, his face. But he went ahead anyway, telling Goober what he needed to know. They tell you to do your thing but they don't mean it. They don't want you to do your thing, not unless it happens to be their thing, too. It's a laugh, Goober, a fake. Don't disturb the universe, Goober, no matter what the posters say.

His eyes fluttered open and he saw Goober's face all askew, like on a broken movie film. But he was able to see the concern, the worry on his face.

Take it easy, Goober, it doesn't even hurt anymore. See? I'm floating, floating above the pain. Just remember what I told you. It's important. Otherwise, they murder you.

Basically someone who's totally given up. The Chocolate War, Robert Cormier.
From the harsh side of this primal jungle they call... the world.
The human world, which is by default the civilized world.
Heck that. Deprived of our 'humanly' devices, that vital gene, our furniture and computers and technology, we're just as primal as any animal.

And our intelligence only makes that worse.

William Golding's Lord of The Flies elaborates on this point.

Act like a matador, play like a disney movie princess.
Prayer for Allegro.

2006-04-22T15:16:00.000+08:00

Liu Yi doesn't like Ms Luo!

-clobbers her with a hammer-

I mean, c'mon, Ms Luo is so effing cool. :D
She actually does extensive research for lessons, instead of just reading from the book/asking questions like -cough- other teachers did. And so what if she marks strictly. Geog still rocks yeah.

-continues clobbering-

Mmhmm. I used to think Relient K rocked, but their CD turned out to be a whole load of senseless tracks with too much drum bashing.

Monday:
MEP exam, Lit play, NAPFA 2.4.
Now that's one downright despicable Monday.

I HAVEN'T EVEN PRACTISED ALLEGRO PROPERLY YET.
AND THANKS TO MY AMATEURISH MANEUVREING OF THE PEDAL, ALL THE NOTES OF PRAYER OF THE MATADOR ARE BLENDING INTO ONE ANOTHER.

Sucks, dang.

"You know who's subhuman, man? You. You are. Going to school everyday. And back home on the bus. And do your homework. " The guy's voice was contemptuous. "Square boy. Middle-aged at fourteen, fifteen. Already caught in a routine. Wow."

A hiss and a stench of exhaust announced the arrival of the bus. Jimmy swung away from the guy.

"Go get your bus, square boy," he called. "Don't miss the bus, boy. You're missing a lot of things in the world, better not miss that bus."

Robert Cormier. The Chocolate War.

You know what?
What?
I'm gonna get into the hockey school team.
Yeah right.
I'm gonna master my tackle and be as good a defender as enru and clarice.
haha, yeah, yeah.
You just watch.
Go on, then, little square lady.
Better catch that bus.
For what? Just walk, dude, just walk.
Yeah.

Square boy.
Exactly, that's just what I've been digging at all the while.
We humans are subhuman. Boring stuff, heyyy.

When I grow up, I'm not gonna tell someone, "Yo man, I got 20.5 over 25 for my geography test in sec2 when half the class didn't do well."

Because hey, they care about the colossal, empty degrees. No one cares about the foundation, those small meaningful achievements.

The PhDs, Harvard degree, doctorate, perfect 5 points for o'levels.

I can't imagine myself as an adult.
Stacy, dressed crisply, on the way to work half an hour early so she won't get scolded by her boss. Keeping to the safe spots in case terrorists decide to nuke Singapore, cos our government's managed to piss off so many people. Fuelled, of course, by conservatives and liberals, each side's inability to behold the fact that there are sides to sides and that juxtaposition is inevitable.

Try to drive out the Hindus from India. hahah

I can't even believe my name is Stacy!

I was surrounded by hoards of romance novels in the secondhand bookshop t-oday, United Square. I used to read them by the day. I can't stand the pseudo-bliss anymore. Some spine-tingling kisses that seem so real. It's all the same thing and they won't mean anything. I admit- I'd rather have the real thing.

When I was younger I had this really warped view.
I thought citizenship was determined by religion. I know, 'tis ironic.
I thought 'real' Singaporeans were Christian. So when Ling Yu told me she was Buddhist, I automatically assumed she was from overseas. I thought all non Christians had come to Singapore from some other country.

I know, that was stupid.

And I only realized my mistake when I was in primary six.

And until last year, I didn't know we lived on the earth's surface. I thought we lived inside the earth.

Which was why I had trouble understanding the volcanoes and magma thing last year.

I KNOW I'm ignorant, gah.

Hm. The government's so concerned about citizens, want them to keep up with the times and all. Why not everyone stop learning then. If everyone's ignorant, no one is.

There are other ways to be productive. Academics is just one solution.

And we are a relatively new era in history. I bet there'll be billions and millions of years to come. We are very, very premature.

We had the dinosaurs. Then the humans. What next? Spiders shall rule the world, perhaps. And the zebras. And the dogs. And the monkeys. And the dolphins.

I wonder what future centuries will call our era. The era of modernization? The Age of Modern Corruption? The Ironically Ignorant? The Intelligently Stupid?

I want to put my name in history books.

On this day in history, Stacy Ooi Hui Quan of Singapore, South-East Asia, became the first sixteen year old female Prime Minister.

2006-04-21T20:31:00.000+08:00

I meant to blog in school, in english class, but Mrs Lee was approaching so I closed it in haste.
so I'm HERE. HERE. HERE. NOW.

Hockey was pretty okay. Bad in the sense that;
I did three successful tackles on Joanne and Clarice. (:
And I got a couple of good dribbles.
But all my temporarily newfound skills disappeared the moment I started playing in the match.
F'shit, then.

I took the bus(es) home t-oday. 269 and 136. It was raining heck it was raining. And today I saw faces in the clouds.
The evening buses are nice, in a busy night city sort of way. Kind of what I'm imagining the nighttime New York to seem like. Yessss. I met Steven on 136.

funny, these days. Almost everytime I take bus136, which isn't often, I meet Steven taking the same bus. We live almost opposite each other, anyway.
I didn't really expect to meet him. I mean, heck, it was seven fifteen in the evening. :/
I had to lug home a bag full of props, my shoebag, my hockey stick. And my schoolbag, yeah.

Good for Steven, I think, having a bus station right outside his school. Wait, is that bus station right outside Anderson? The one... outside the interchange. gehhhhhahahahah.

I shall... check.

Miss Low tries too hard sometimes.

Practised Allegro. I like that song. It's so pretty.
And I'm sick of freaky friday.
And I want my watch strap back, wherever it is now.
And I want to go cycling.

OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH.
Anyone interested in a tennis camp during the June holidays?
I'm supposed to be recruiting people.

Serangoon Gardens.

I asked Yoceeda in the computer lab today, just for the heck of it, didn't expect her to answer seriously. But whoa, she was all "omg I wanna learn tennis!" haha, well, I've got my first recruit. Yay for Yoceeda.

ROBYN AND CHERYL, you shall join!
Tennis camps are seriously seriously seriously fun.

And yeah, Greg, I was referring to that murder mystery etc. thing in which Huang Biren stars. GOD OH GOD she's so effing cool. And I know what you mean by... betraying a tv show. I felt like I was betraying my old bike when I got a new one. I felt like I was betraying my first dog Ricky when my mum got a second dog.

Yeah.

JESUS LOVES THE LITTLE CHILDREN
ALL THE CHILDREN OF THE WORLD
RED AND YELLOW, BLACK AND WHITE
THEY ARE PRECIOUS IN HIS SIGHT
JESUS LOVES THE LITTLE CHILDREN OF THE WORLD

I'm not christian or catholic or anything, but I love that song.
The tune's still in my head.

JESUS LOVES THE LITTLE CHILDREN

2006-04-20T23:57:00.000+08:00

Well.
Well.

My tribute to Greg, because heck, I forgot about him! ~~Poor wee mite.~~ Cough. XD
I'm s-orry I'm s-orry. :/
Shall write an extra long one.

GREG. For being a great bitcher, for being a great writer, for being tall (I'm assuming here but Cheryl says you're in high jump or something like that so yeah), for being a nice-to-talk-to person. And for liking the Corrs, and hating Maths. hahah.

Okay.

Guess what time it is.
It's midnight. Thursday/Friday.

This afternoon, rushed, rushed, r-ushed.
Reached home at 3.15. Coach was gonna pick me up five minutes later. Dashed like hell. Then coach smsed me asking me to get a cab to Chatsworth (!) because there were some hiccups, mal-planned stuff. So yeah. Didn't bother to bathe, just... threw on my clothes and left. THANK GOODNESS I FOUND A CAB. I have yet to master the art of cab-hailing. At least two empty cabs didn't see me.

So I reached Chatsworth Court -I had no idea where that was, didn't know it was that far- for my tennis lesson. I'm the odd one out there. Coach, Kenneth, Andrew, and I'm the only girl.

So. Amazingly I did pretty well for today's tennis. I haven't forgotten my strokes yet, so yay.

And then coach drove me home. I meant to bathe, ended up reading - on the bed. Which is naturally a bad choice. And I put my book down, and slept.

And I woke up only a couple of minutes ago.

Without even studying my chinese lit, so I'm dooooomed.

Oh, and my computer's got a problem. So I'm using my mum's laptop, which doesn't have messenger.

Sorry if I seem disjointed. I'm just trying to fling everything out here.

And yes I should be studying now, but pfft.

AND I JUST REALIZED I MISSED MY SHOW. Shit.
I like Huang Biren. :/
Lee Nanxing is gay.

Speech competition today, interclass. Natalie got 3rd but it's okay, everyone loves her anyway. hahah. The champion was Roxanne Sim or something, from 2... Loyalty?

There was this China girl from Diligence who took part, got 5th place. Her accent. Thick, very china-ish. Gosh, she was so brave to go up there and suffer all the sniggers. I mean, I admit I laughed a bit - she pronounced some stuff funny-ly - but if I were her I'd never dare to go up on stage in the first place.

Though something got me pissed off. Like-
Dong Ran's from China, she's lucky her accent isn't that un-Singaporeanish, and she was laughing and mocking at the Chinagirl from Diligence.
Well. Dong Ran's apparently one who's very appreciative of her own country, aces Chinese lit and stuff, and loves the history of China.

So apparently it's this: she loves her country, but not her countryfolk.

That's nice.

2006-04-19T23:03:00.000+08:00

Bessie Smith!

I need foolscap.
That this great king-
no, that's just not right.

I love macbeth?

Oh yes I do.

And Mary-Anne says that Sonea was below.
And WHAT WHAT.
I think everyone in class has done it before.

and according to Mr. Wong, he's got three kids.

so yeah. I don't know. MY DAD THINKS MR. WONG'S FROM HONG KONG.
Apparently he's got that accent, or something like that. I can't distinguish.

but anyway.

2006-04-19T22:50:00.000+08:00

tennis, geography, allegro, prayer, t-omorrow says:
OMG OMG NO

tennis, geography, allegro, prayer, t-omorrow says:
mary-anne just hang in there says:
i'm sure every person in class has done it before...
mary-anne just hang in there says:
mr wong. needless to say.

mary-anne just hang in there says:
OMG

mary-anne just hang in there says:
OHMY

mary-anne just hang in there says:
GOD

mary-anne just hang in there says:
HAHAHAHHAHHAA

mary-anne just hang in there says:
now, THAT i have no idea

mary-anne just hang in there says:
:D

Just catching some of our accidental mistakes.
-breathe in-

OMG OMG THAT WAS FUNNY.

tributes

2006-04-19T22:06:00.000+08:00

A tribute of appreciation/anti-appreciation to my schoolmates.

Liu Yi, who can always be counted on to do the dirty ~~work~~ research, who always does her homework, who can be relied on for the meanings of difficult Chinese words.

Pei Hwa, who's a kickass artist, a super-funnay person with an eccentric dog who loves music (haha, like mine), a hamster that bites. She's the most artistic person I've ever met, just not as eccentric as Mr. Foo. And she's musical as well.

Kerina, who studies, who plans (sometimes excessively), who controls, who giggles. A lot. Who plays really really nice piano pieces.

Erin, who studies a lot, who always does her homework, who is a fellow bookworm, who can always be depended on. More or less.

Calista, who delights in tormenting me, (tickling me and coming up with lame comebacks falls into the category of torment), who apparently feels some connection with me, which is why she stalks and sits with me every single recess.

Mary-Anne, who's nice to talk to online, laugh at/with in school, and groan with over homework, tests and the like.

Ugenie, who is like, super-friendly and funny.
Joy, who was my first friend in sng, though we've separated into different social circles now.
Denise, whom I didn't always use to like (haha), but I think now we're pretty okay friends.
Clarice, who today serenaded me with the song Do Re Mi.
Michelle (2D), who was the first person who taught me how to dribble the hockey ball, that time during the auditions.
Calida, who was an interesting desk partner last year.
Rachel Quek, who's transferred to Nanyang now, but was also an... interesting, err, scary desk partner.
Melissa, with whom I got along pretty well for a while last year.
Karina, who tried to make friends with me last year. Haha, I think she sort of gave up there.
Yoceeda, who's just great.
Vanessa, who's amusing, and who also loves Dannyl and his relationship with Tayend, and who one day suddenly burst out: "Sonea and Akkarin did it behind the waterfall! / Was Sonea on top and Akkarin below, or Akkarin on top and Sonea below?"

HAHA. I'd prefer her with Dorrien actually. Though I don't like Dorrien's name. Dorrien. Doris. Doris sounds flowery and stuffy and housewife-ly. Of course our ex-lit teacher wasn't really like that, but...

Doris. Dorrien. Ew.

anyway. Onwards!

Esther (Tan), who was a great desk partner.
Esther (Ng), who seems... well, nice.
Rachel Tong, just for the fact that she's a writer and she's nice. XD

I don't know why I'm doing this. But anyway. ZPS schoolmates:

ROBYN. Okay, you're my neighbour, but yeah, you still rock.
PEI YING. My on-off best friend from p4 and p5.
SARANYA. My first best friend in primary school.
ISAAC. Who was a really great guy friend.
CALEB. Who constantly constantly constantly fought with me, but he was nice.
JACQUE. She wasn't really any best friend of mine or anything, but we got along well.
PECK KHEE. Hahah, fellow shortie.
JESSIE. The first person I spoke to in my p1 class.
ZHALLYKA. Hey, hey, hey! I helped her with homework once in p1/2. And Mrs. Ang praised me for being a good group leader. XD But she's real nice, Zhallyka.
ZONG HAN. The funny guy.
JOSHUA. The other funny guy.
EUGENE YIP. The nice funny guy.
CLARENCE. The nice guy.
AMOS. Ditto.

and to others:
CHERYL. For being a great friend.
NICK. For being a great friend.
DOMINIC. For being a funny great friend.
YEU SHINQ. For being a great French-classmate.
NOURREDINE. For being a great French teacher.
ETIENNE. For attempting to be a great French teacher.
PAULA. OMG I can't believe I forgot you. GREAT FRIEND, duh.
AMANDA. For being a nice friend.
ALEXZNDRIA. I'm so sorry, I truly am, I think we all are. You were great and we didn't treasure you.

STACY. For being honest with me.

2006-04-18T22:07:00.000+08:00

F'shit. I've been slacking more than usual lately, and I keep telling myself it'll end, but it never does. Cyclecyclecyclecyclecycle. I don't feel like going to school, but no one does.

I got an A2 for a Maths test most of the class did badly in.
Pythagoras, congruency/similarity, something else.
I flunked the latter. Did pretty well for the others though. Congruency/similarity, fortunately, had minimal weightage. Scored 0 for a 5 marks question, hah. The rest pulled me up loads.

Shit, I'm getting complacent.

2006-04-18T19:02:00.000+08:00

that wasn't-
I feel- I feel- horrible.
no no, it's all me.

2006-04-18T16:36:00.000+08:00

Hello, rain.
You've been coming rather frequently these days.
But shoo.
I want my hockey trainings back. :/

Only because I'm sick of physicals.
Up the stairs, down the stairs, gasp pant collapse.
Morning jog today. I JOGGED TWO ROUNDS INSTEAD OF THE USUAL THREE. But we were only supposed to do one round. Indoors, that is.

But enough of that.

All Star from Shrek. I swear I've heard that song before. And yes, I checked the lyrics, and hey - I have. When I was in primary 3. 'tis a remix or something? It was in the 1999 hits cd. I remember sitting in my dad's study room, that time at Highland Close, listening to this song which I thought rocked. Only of course then I hadn't learnt the word 'rocked' yet.

Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

/

And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold

Haha, I love the lyrics. The tune is awfully catchy.
Saranya and Amanda just... appeared. And they're playing Soul Calibur II now. I used to play that everyday, version I. Soul Edge. SOPHITIA'S MINE, I SAY. MINE MINE MINE. And Seung Mina, and Cassandra, and Xiang Hua, and... nevermind.

What's the use, a-nyway. I rarely play it anymore.
but I shall die.

when we decide what to say,
that's just wrong, innit.
come on come dance la tango la tango or is it le?
and let's not trip!
waltz chacha tango cancan
la la la la la la la la

I love the cancan. I can play it on the piano. I can, oh yeah, I can I can.

IN THE POISONED ENTRAILS THROUGH.
omg -gags-
Someone just spiked my super high class red wine.

The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin
The water's gettin' warm so we might as well swim

See, even Shrek agrees.

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead

awfully cute as well.

Christina Aguilera's Silent Night sounds pitiful in comparison to Bon Jovi's It's My Life, but see, that's why people think women are inferior as compared to men. So chant with me: SILENT NIGHT ROCKS SILENT NIGHT ROCKS yeah?

Besides. Christina rocks.

to-day we had Angelalina Jolie, which was goddamned hilarious, trying out pimple cream, and the money-crazy Teo Liang. English Enrichment, sales advertisement.

Our groups were divided according to... height. We stood in one straight line, shortest to tallest. Divided into four.

But of course, I'm at the slighter end of the line.

And ironically, our group chose to advertise a shrinking potion.
I was the doctor. Su Xian, show us how you shrunk.
My lines were quite impromptu, and I broke out into a semi-fit of giggles, but other than that it was fun.

It has been clinically proven that after drinking our shrinking potion, you are less likely to bump into things.

2006-04-17T22:11:00.000+08:00

I've got paper.

Yessss. I cannot live without paper. Save the earth.
oh noes. shalalalala.

I know I flunked my MEP test, I did not fart, I didn't bring my pencil. Now that treble clefs and stuff are required, my loss of a pencil is felt even more keenly.

I knew I had some affinity with the colour green.

And by the way, they're repainting the yellow railings green! OH YES OH PRAISE THE LORD. If there is a lord. I mean- nevermind.

I need to practise my scales.
And it was a lyric soprano voice, right?
And the recitative part. Shucks.

If I'm not getting an A for 2.4, I shall jump off-

somewhere. Am open to suggestions.

Now I'm not really sure who reads my blog and who doesn't. And I've forgotten how to password protect this. I miss Celia. And Mus/Irma.

Thrice the brinded cat hath mewed.
Thrice, and once the hedge pig whined.
Harpier cries, 'tis time, 'tis time.

Round about the cauldron go,
In the poisoned entrails throw.
Toad, that under cold stone,
Days and nights has thirty one.
Sweltered venom, sleeping got,
Boil thou first i' th' charmed pot.

Ay, sir, all this is so- but why
Stands Macbeth thus amazedly?
Come, sisters, cheer we up his sprites,
And show the best of our delights.
I'll charm the air to give a sound,
while you perform your antic round,
that this great king may kindly say,
our duties did his welcome pay.

I love the extreme evilness of the witches. The sarcasm is delicious.

Didn't feel like blogging much last night. Haven't had the time today except for this post. To-morrow, perhaps, but I think not. Science remedial. Haven't had remedial in my entire secondary school life, previously. But I like remedial.

Just hope I get home in time for piano. I need two pieces by next monday, at such short notice.

That this great king may kindly say,
our duties did his welcome pay.

Stupid Macbeth.

2006-04-16T13:30:00.000+08:00

It shall be interesting to note that... that... I have lost my stapler. Shit.

Mind, it ain't no ordinary stapler.

I lost my eraser two months ago. My pencil lead broke and my mechanical pencil's outta lead, two months ago. I've survived.

Yes, on pens and rulers and staplers and scissors alone.

But I cannot live without my stapler!
You know, you know, the blue 'Drugs Destroy' one they gave us on our last day as Zhonghua students.

That's it. I'm going on a house-wide search for that precious little thing. And in the meanwhile steal some erasers and pencils.

I'm also in need of a blue pen and a red pen.

Donations would be very much appreciated.

So would comments.

2006-04-15T22:12:00.000+08:00

The row of houses by the drainside, which can't be seen.

The sunset over Paula's house!

A pidgeon/dove/something on Paula's roof.

I've been snapping away non-stop ever since my parents got that new camera.

2006-04-15T20:59:00.000+08:00

Did I mention, Elaine quit French class? Wtf.

2006-04-15T19:39:00.000+08:00

And wears upon his baby brow the round and top of sovereignity!
XD
Pei Hwa was darn funny today. Thanks for the cake, Erin. Thanks for the garbage song (where'd it get it's name from?), Liu Yi.

We always say things we don't mean:

Shut up.
Stop it.
It's okay.
Sorry leh.
Sorry.
I'm so fat lorhz.
I'm so stressed lorhz.
I love you.
I hate you.

Just another of life's beautiful crayons.

But that's the way this weirdweirdweird world works.

Started on homework at about 4.30. Did a few questions, got tired, fell asleep, woke up at around 7. My first thoughts were, "Oh my god, I need green tea."

Which I have, right now, beside me. Elixir of life!

In coffee city!

Things have changed a lot, with my family.

Kenn Ji's no longer with Christy. I still remember Clarissa, Kenn Ji, Christy and I having a game of Pay Day in his house. Christy practically lived in his house.

Gimm's not with Fiona anymore, though I expect that to be old day news. She teaches in Rulang primary, and my cousin on another side from that school knows her. I remember standing outside Gimm's car in Sentosa, Fiona opening the boot and giving away gifts from a box.

Anyway, sometime after CNY Gimm had a hushed up unexpected wedding to a girl named Chew Rui or something. She's okay. She's got the Singlish look, but a rather clear/precise/refined voice.

Lilian's had a couple of boyfriends so far, but I think she's serious about this one.

Kelly/Min Lee both are attached, I think, but I'm not sure.

Tricia's still going single, as is Bryan - or maybe not. Kenn Ji and Ah Fai joked, on gran's cremation day, that whenever there's a Bryan there's bound to be a lady involved. XD

Though Robyn thinks he's a sissy because he wears a hairband, which she thought at first to be pink, but it's actually white.

Ah Fai seems perpetually single.

hmm. All my cousins leaving one by one.

Terry and Sharon are ageless.

Sherlinn's married, but no ceremony or anything - yet?

Gosh. It sounds so weird.

Sherlinn's married.

Shut up.

But Joon's nice, anyway.

2006-04-15T16:26:00.000+08:00

www.blingyblob.com

2006-04-15T14:45:00.000+08:00

hey look, hey look hey look!
My first few friendster testimonials, haha. Yesterday was the anniversary and I didn't even know.

Daryl Posted 04/14/2005
Since u so poor thing..no testi...yourUncle shall be really really kind and writeu one*smiles and teeth shines*....u r abit mad....but...insanity is an art...soyour artistic value is not bad...Lol...yourstories r well respected....her english ispro.Too pro for you to noe.kk..she if shegets too proud it will be a problem.....Write me a testi!!!better if it is a novel!!!

-

madcap Daryl, hahah. My uncle, distantly related.
Though isn't 'testi' like, the plural of...

-

-bry Posted 06/29/2005
heya!i'm writing a testimonal for u...i so blur.. din even know i din write 4 u...haha, anyways, stacy is a nice personwho will willingly listen to ur problems..and her writing skills are so... PrO...unlike me... haha... ur a gr8 person toknow! stay happiex!

-

heh, yeah.
The next is by my cousin James, who wrote a seriously long one with manymanymany spaces and stuff, so I won't bother posting it. The usual stuff. (:

-

I feel so loved.
But I'd feel more loved if someone would comment. Use the comment feature, you non-hairy apes! Below, click! -cough-

2006-04-15T14:10:00.000+08:00

Aw. Isn't that the cutest widdle thing you ever saw.
The beaver from Narnia, yay yay for beavers and cups.
Resting on my speaker thing.
Evility perched upon a gray dais, backed by a gray wall.
The wall isn't gray. It just looks gray.

I'm listening to Robyn's favourite song.
Lyla

I prefer... I don't really prefer anything.
Though Christina Anguilera's Beautiful is la best.
hmm. People keep calling me Judy. The count remains... three.
Everything Burns by Anastacia is really nice, but the lyrics seem rather pointless.
It's My Life, Bon Jovi
pretty good, I guess.

and it's now or never

haha, ha, ha.
Forgive me, Robyn. I couldn't stand Lyla anymore and stopped the song halfway.

My soul yearns for the national library. -cough-
Unfortunately, to-day's homeworkloaded.
As is tomorrow.
I shall weep for the sanctuary of primary school and the library.

Even sng's library feels unsafe.

ZHONGHUA, MY SWEET ZHONGHUA.
I shall be going there next saturday, I hope.

by the way, Greg, in case you wondered:
I've got the full brochure for Mobile, that film thing you wanted to watch.
Rather sparse description.
A unique collaboration involving artists from Singapore, Thailand, the Philippines and Japan, Mobile deals with stories of women and men who are affected by movement and migration. As the world becomes more mobile, has it also become more foreign?
It's on 17-18 June, Drama Centre Theatre, wherever that is.

honestly, it doesn't sound very appealing to me. ^^;
The photography exhibits still pwn.

And shit, my French exam's next week.

Caution, darlings, caution. Approach slowly, because the woman is not the hunter.

Man is.

rawr. I fall into this stereotype, but I used to be so energetic, no time to spare, always in pursuit.

come 'ere, come 'ere.

The Corrs rock. They do. Someone comment!

red cross

2006-04-15T01:01:00.000+08:00

Primary school red cross seems like an eons away memory.
Like it never happened.

hm, look at me scream!
http://www.friendster.com/profiles/dinadinadina

think

2006-04-14T23:20:00.000+08:00

Somehow I can't remember the last time I had a late night (early morning) conversation with anyone. As in, those really long conversations where words come in effortless torrents. Where you don't really care about what you say, uninhibited, hard to find in real life because they're totally free of self-consciousness.

So if I'm on messenger, click on my nickname and start talking to me, because I'm conversation-starved.

Gosh, I've actually resorted to this. A-nyway, as you can see, no tagboard - do spend some time using blogger's comment thingy instead.

Just returned from ji-gu's house. His neighbourhood, somewhere in Bedok, is really really nice. One of those pretty quaint untouchedbymodernization maze of streets, sort of like Serangoon/ColchesterConistonCardiff, but nicer. Playgrounds lit, lamplight and moonlight, so pretty. I visited the playground there. Funny, it used to seem so big, when I was younger, tinier, a small mite of a kid. I love the swings and the stairs.

I miss the see-saws at the old Colchester park.

I feel nostalgic, and the song isn't helping, but I don't want helping.

We were watching the 9pm show, forgot which channel, Ah Fai-Bryan-Gresilda-Clarissa-Veltrice-Stefi-Me.
Ah Fai was sitting next to me, my right, and beside Ah Fai was Bryan. Bryan said something to Ah Fai that sounded like it involved my name, and... nevermind. I didn't understand anything anyway.

but that's not the point. Bryan seems appalled at my reading capacity, because I was reading Anita Brookner's Providence during all the commercial breaks. Reading, hahah. He was all, "What for?"

There isn't really a reason. If there is, it doesn't matter.

I feel so disconnected with my female cousins. Sherlinn/tricia/lillian/kelly/minlee/gresilda/sharon/veltrice/clarissa. I used to be really close to most of them.

The idea of havin' an elder brother appeals to me more than the prospect of an older sister. The latter brings forth impressions of a made up bimbo strutting from room to room in search of her imitation Louis Vuitton handbag. The former...

okay, I know the whole protective-older-brother thing is a horrible stereotype, and I'm being kind of chauvinistic here by thinking that males give some sort of sturdiness, but that's my current opinion, at least until I'm proved otherwise.

WORLD WORLD WORLD.
the profound new cousin at the playground, the crushed snail, the bus stop, the breathing and running, the ruined dreams of France.

The moon playing on the sand.

I'm usually the last one to start having dinner, so when I went today, when dinner started at about 8, everyone was asking me,

why don't you eat? Have you eaten yet? Not hungry ah?

My body is kind of programmed for dinner at about 8-9, and on those days when I have dinner at 7 (which is very often, because of my mum's insistence) I feel rather disconcerted afterwards. Unless of course I happen to be extra hungry.

I can feel the rain in my hair.
The wet black pants and blue shirt sweltering away in a washing machine.

sweltered venom, sleeping got.

haha, Macbeth rocks.

It's one of the easier plays to analyze, I think. Everything's so raw, laid bare. The raw is always easier to observed than the cooked, where everything's changed and the root ingredients are hidden under facades of golden brown crusts. Ovened.

Or maybe I'm just being naive. :/

i am beautiful
no matter what they say
words can't(?) bring me down
i am beautiful in every single way
yes words can't (?) bring me down
so don't you bring me down

let's let's let's

2006-04-14T15:43:00.000+08:00

By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked this way comes.
Open, locks.
Whoever knocks.

oh yes, je suis ici.
that radio tinniness.
Freaky Friday is hilarious, I know, I know, I laughed.
though I don't like Jake's sudden change of heart. Common sense-defying. The scriptwriter's just lazy.

Common sense isn't common. (:

1. the remembered (and forgotten) (12/48)
2. blood (1/19)
3. the big picture (2/33)
4. missing jigsaw bits (8/27)
5. alliance francaise! (0/5)
6. gaia-online (0/2)
7. chocolate and vanilla (1/6)

my msn contacts are quite divided.
Guess where you guys stand.
Chocolate is loved!

Sense is forgiven.

let the good times roll
nothing feels better than letting go

free your mind
let the whole world know

I'll open my mouth first.

I just gave the phrase 'bathing in the rain' a whole new meaning.

2006-04-14T13:49:00.000+08:00

http://judymaule.blogspot.com

It's actually the old delenoir.blogspot.com. I changed the url, thassall. I shall be blogging there from time to time. De temps en temps. :D

I think I'll put most of the lyricsofsongsIlike there.

I can't believe it, The Corrs've been there all along! They are fo'shiz. They kickass. They rock more than you. Deal with it.

The first time I heard Summer Sunshine -an extract of the song, at least- on tv, I was like, wow, oh wow. That's the kind of chemistry I like.

La-dy Marmalade.
Hey sista.

Do not question my choice.

2006-04-13T18:24:00.000+08:00

I dream of a bus stop.

On the very day I didn't wear my watch, I was late for maths class. Talk about... the female devil.

You see, Erin and I were in the library, and neither of us had watches. I left the library first, didn't tell her, thought I had about 5 minutes before the end of recess. Met Xixian on the way. Thought period after recess was science, so even if we were late it didn't matter.

But to my horror, it was Maths lesson, where the female devil reigned, and recess had actually ended 5 minutes ago. Yes, I didn't hear the bell. Neither did Erin, who then was still in the library. horrorofhorrors.

Anyway, Xixian had a perfectly good excuse, but apparently not good enough for Rosso. I couldn't say I lost track of time, so I lied that I'd gone to the toilet at the last minute... it worked with Adela the other time. This time Rosso didn't buy it. Xixian and I had to sit on the floor. Erin came five minutes later. Same punishment.

I won't be surprised if you skipped the previous 3 paragraphs. (:

beeeeeeeeep.

Geog was nice, as usual. I mean, save the trees, save the trees, save the trees! EVERY TWO SECONDS, THOUSANDS OF ACRES OF FORESTLAND ARE CLEARED.

But today we touched on water pollution.
A-nyway. I took notes during science, actually understood Maths, did my English homework diligently, and did extra-neat extra-meticulous corrections for geog.

Thursday's nice, except for Maths.
and Science, which is nice sometimes, but otherwise boring.
I'm neutral with chem.

I'm looking forward to Physics.

I don't miss biology.

I want litlitlitlitlitlitlitlitlitlitlitlitlitlitlitlitlitlitlit.

Mrs. Sushilla thinks I'm a good, hardworking literature subject leader, efficient, thorough. Um.

Last year she taught our sec1 class English, and Erin then was the English subject leader. Erin was far more meticulous than I am now, hey.

Today, walking back from school, I had a rare chance to listen to a more or less full bimbo conversation exchanged between three sashaying sng girls.

je ne peux pas... parler.

I feel boring.

2006-04-12T22:42:00.000+08:00

Coincidences. Just as I was about to sms my coach about tomorrow, I found an sms from him. I should check my phone more often. :/

oh, he just replied. Ok..

There's a increasing sense of an overwhelmed schedule.
tennis hockey piano french chinesetuition cip lit science tingxie tests sleepover blogging sleep.

I'm saying, one more time, I need to curl up with a nice book.

Go cycling in the after rain.

Coke down my gullet, sleep. Lit homework can be tiring.

2006-04-12T21:02:00.000+08:00

Seriously.

That time in CME class, J.Cher asked us to list the 'concerns of today's youth' on a piece of foolscap paper.

1. Studies
2. Oppressive elders with differing ideals and ethics.
3. The diminishing collective IQ of today's youths.
4. We pity ourselves too much.

My group's list went something like that.
Number one, but of course.

2. Someone said, rather scathingly, that it could be summarized into: "Parents have high expectations of us lah". I forgot who that was.

But honestly-twitchsqueakblargh.

3. People getting stupider. Okay, I admit this was just a sarcastic dig at no one in particular, I just happened to be in a bad mood.

4. Constantly proved to be correct, everywhere, everyday.
I'm guilty of it too.
Like like like, omg I'm so stressed!
You'd think we would've gotten used to homework and the like by now.
but apparently we haven't.
anyway.

Self-pity, when overdone, is highly irritating.

but alright. These people have a right to whine. (I have the right to be irritated by their whining too)

Maybe I should just stop reading those angst-blogs.

Yeah.

Beneficial for both sides.

la lingua pura

2006-04-12T20:14:00.000+08:00

Screwed up my history and maths tests. Currently organizing my geog file. Swallowing something that's in my throat. As usual, today's hockey wasn't good, but I like trainings. Let's repeat last year's c'div history!

hmm. Working in teams and the like, makes the responsibility all the more greater. Everytime I lose the ball or something I can't help but feel guilty. It's guilty guilty guilty guilty guilty everybody hates me. I know it's not true for the most part, but anyway, homo sapien sapiens are unpredictable.

Angels and Demons. Finished it late last night.
Maybe it's just me, but the ending wasn't satisfying. Give us something new, Dan Brown. You won't impress readers anymore with bits of juicy information coming in hordes. You've overdone it. The twist at the end, didn't your mama ever tell you that you shouldn't re-do what's already been done?

Like finding out who your long-lost father is. Ha.

Sure, it was pretty nice, but that's that nagging chant of clicheclichecliche.

Robert Langdon. Mr. Brown, you used the same tactic in The Da Vinci Code. Cheater.

Dan Brown seems to like intelligent, 'exotic' women, the Italian and the French. They start off as Langdon's sidekick, like his personal translator, and then the two fall in love.

Wish-fulfilment.

Didn't his mama tell him never to do that?

that aside, it was good. Better than anything I can ever do, anyway.

It's time to turn back to my neglected geog file.

-

I'm back.
I'm back.
Stasya's back.

I used to call myself stasya.
still do, in fact.
just not so often.

You see, my name's a variant of Stacey, which is a variant of Eustace or Anastasia. And Stasya is the nickname form of Anastasia.

I'm proud, I've filed my geog file so efficiently. I've even included a newspaper article that caught my eye a few days ago! Even though one isn't required!

to be honest, I'd do anything to pull up my absymal geog grade.
So, why not, I think.
We've gotta take the initiative. :D
I shall be a model geog student.

Until Mrs. Sherwood comes back.

When one domino falls, so do the rest. Provided they're aligned together.

Unfortunately not all rise.

The Corrs rock. They do so. Shut up.

AND MARY-ANNE I TOLD YOU THE HIGH LORD WAS BAD. :)

Trudi Canavan, I would've expected better. :/

But she is a pretty new writer on the scene, only about 3 years or so.
Is that an excuse?
well. Depends.

2006-04-11T22:06:00.000+08:00

35 precious minutes spent studying chinese spelling.
Cycling's soul-therapy, provided the weather isn't that hot.
Now I still have idioms.

Humour is cruel to the giver, sometimes. :/

The other humour.

Dan Brown's knowledge is to be envied, but if only he didn't keep using the same tactics in stories.
Though the suspense is great.
Last night I stayed up till midnight reading part of Angels and Demons. Slept through half an hour of Chinese lit today. After that I was pretty awake, just kept yawning.

The beautiful and the self-maimed.
gahgahgah, so many are the latter, yes, including me.
LET GO LET GO WE SAY.
but in many cases, it requires a team effort.
I admire the individuals.

in the meantime,
DIE TINGXIE DIE.

-stabs-

My moods are skateboarding!
and you should never, ever trust me with a skateboard.

Clock just struck 10.30.
You know, that ancient quaint wooden clock which has been around for more than a decade. Maybe since before I was born.

It's pretty.

My muse.

2006-04-11T19:12:00.000+08:00

How to handle an irritated Stacy:

1. Infer exactly how irritated she is. If she is really irritated, she throws/slams stuff. If not, she just stamps her feet when she walks, and seems agitated and, ah, irritated. In both cases, her replies to what others say are curt, or non-existent. She hates repeating what she says as well.

2. Don't talk to her.

*If you have chosen to ignore 2., please note that she might refuse to talk to you. In really bad cases, she blows up at you/blows up at nothing in particular/insults you/walks away from you. She always feels guilty after that, but due to her pride (which is shielded by an abnormally thick head with extra thick skin), she almost never apologises. On the rare occasion when she does, it is via subtle methods.

I've calmed down. :)
But never ever irritate me when I am both irritated and reading a book. Books are to a certain extent my irritation-venting goat, but my irritation-venting goat might become you if you're not careful.

Maa.

Or was that a sheep?

Well, what was supposed to be a crab sounded like a dehydrated sheep today.

Old folks home.
The minute I saw the elderly people, well.
Even though I've never considered it before, I swear that I shall never put my parents into a nursing home. Not even a posh one like the one we went to.

Singing was rather fun, but my voice got strained by the third performance. Not much response from our elderly audience, anyway.

Remember how to handle an irritated Stacy.

2006-04-10T21:04:00.000+08:00

No matter how incompetent I am as compared to thousands of literaryintellectuals out there, I swear I'm not an idiot.

I feel like having a long 45 minutes talk with anyone who's not an idiot, about nothing in particular.

LIKE HOCKEY.
TENNIS.
BADMINTON.
SWIMMING.
CYCLING.

wheee

Three's a nice number.

My muse, my muse!

muses aside, I just got I-want-to-bury-my-head-in-a-pillow kind of depressed. Reality is like cold cake.

Far too rich.

2006-04-10T20:32:00.000+08:00

gonna shake and shimmy 'cos we're here to stay.

The enthusiasm of 16 year old school girls.
House practice, cramped, hot, sweaty, pointless, all in all.
Hockey was rather fun, I managed to get across the field, for once. Somehow managing to dodge Joanne's tackle, eheh, but that doesn't really count b'cos we were quite far apart. I lost the ball anyway. Control. Nil!

Reading Angels and Demons. What Vittoria Vetra said interested me.

"Mr. Langdon, I did not ask if you believed in what man says about God. I asked if you believed in God. When you lie out under the stars, do you sense the divine? Do you feel in your gut that you are staring up at the work of God's hand?"

I know I've read something like this somewhere else, but this just renewed my memory. There's a very very vague sense of deja vu, but let's ignore that. I like Dan Brown, or at least his extensive knowledge/intellect/literary talent. His ability of analyzing people, or at least their motives.

But for the record, I do not sense the divine when I look at the pretty stars. God and Science, yes, yes, they could possibly co-habit, I don't know.

But if God and Science do bleed into the other, then there'd be scientific evidence of what's stated in the Bible, like for example, the Flood would have caused erosion and all that stuff, left behind evidence, et cetera. I'm really not in a position to argue scientific points, considering my personal failures in Geog and Bio, but anyway.

But maybe what the Bible says isn't true. :/

Will never know. There're so many different versions of the Bible out there, so let's not be naive and rule out all possibilities.

Ceramic instruments, blarg. but for once, I shall work in peaceful harmony with my teammates. Differing views are irritating, but for a brighter future, we must be tolerant of them...

and of course, it's interesting whenever the 'opposition' comes up with a strong point. Like what Vittoria Vetra said.

From here on, by the way, I shall not be conned into doing a good deed for someone.
I'm truly selfish, but I might change my mind, maybe not. I'm just really really really irked by overly dependant people. Or rather, overly-dependant-on-me people.

I want to kill a crab and eat it. :/

Played tennis for PE.
funaroony!

2006-04-09T15:30:00.000+08:00

I was wondering why life was so boring/hectic nowadays, and Robyn just reminded me: we don't cycle or play anymore! gah. gah. gah.

Finished my lit essay. It's a group thing.
My group chose Lady Macbeth, but I, err, instead of editing the essay they did (as I'm supposed to), I did a whole new essay based on the witches. I haven't told them yet.

I'll try to do some convincing later on.

I really think it's the witches who should be blamed. But nevermind.

2006-04-09T14:12:00.000+08:00

I'm pretty tired these days. blah blah, yadda yadda, lady marmalade, joshua is easily pissed off. :/

Somehow he always manages to bring out both the best and worst in me.

I remember that time when I temporarily moved house, I had to temporarily change schoolbus as well. On the schoolbus was Elaine, Wilson (that time 3B or something), Zong Han, Joshua.

It was the big really cold air-conditioning schoolbus, with uber soft seats, I like. :)

Bus number 4, if I'm not wrong.

Anyway, it was... interesting.
Zong Han and Joshua, whee, ever the jesters.
While they were in a scrabble on the bus, you know, mock-fighting and rolling on the floor, I still remember: Zong Han suddenly shouted out, in the midst of all the hulabaloo, "Joshua touched my cock!"

^^;

yeah yeah. And when the schoolbus reached Joshua's house, Joshua like, tore off his shirt as he got down the bus, screaming something and swinging the shirt like a lasso, facing everyone.

Weird guy, uninhibited, which is nice.

Just don't flash.

The schoolbus days were good. (:

ohoh I remember, the Wilson guy (zong han's also named wilson, don't confuse them), I was approaching a seat as I just boarded the bus, and he was behind me, and I was about to sit at a particular seat when suddenly he threw his file and it landed on the seat I was about to sit on. And he was all, "Taken, sorry."

I don't remember what I said in reply.
I don't think I said anything, as my then-self would have done, b'cos it was a new bus and all and I was still shy and closed up. meh.

La-dy.

2006-04-08T23:58:00.000+08:00

Bounce, bounce back
Shake it off, get right on track
I'm moving on
Gotta put it in the past
Bounce, bounce back
Snap your fingers and just like that
I let it go
Gotta let it fade to black
Like a river
Cry all my tears
I have to swim through it
Dry it off, I'm outta here
Bounce, bounce back
Shake it off, I'm right on track
I'll be moving on

2006-04-08T23:14:00.000+08:00

[Lil’ kim:]
Where’s all mah soul sistas
Lemme hear ya’ll flow sistas

[Mya:]
Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, flow sista
Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, go sista

[Mya:]
He met Marmalade down IN old Moulin Rouge
Struttin’ her stuff on the street
She said, "Hello, hey Jo, you wanna give it a go?" Oh! uh huh

[Chorus:]
Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada (Hey hey hey)
Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here (here)
Mocha Chocalata ya ya (oh yea)
Creole lady Marmalade

[Lil’ Kim:]
What What, What what
[Mya:]
Ooh oh

Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir
Voulez vous coucher avec moi

[Lil’ Kim:]
yea yea yea yea

[Pink:]
He sat in her boudoir while she freshened up
Boy drank all that Magnolia wine
On her black satin sheets is where he started to freak yeah

[Chorus:]
Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada (da-da-da)
Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here (here ohooh yea yeah)
Mocha Choca lata ya ya (yea)
Creole lady Marmalade

Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir (ce soir, what what what)
Voulez vous coucher avec moi

[Lil’ Kim:]
Yea yea uh
He come through with the money and the garter belts
I let him know we bout that cake straight up the gate uh
We independent women, some mistake us for whores
I'm sayin‘, why spend mine when I can spend yours
Disagree? Well that's you and I’m sorry
Imma keep playing these cats out like Atari
Wear high heel shoes get love from the dudes
4 bad ass chicks from the Moulin Rouge
Hey sistas, soul sistas, betta get that dough sistas
We drink wine with diamonds in the glass
By the case the meaning of expensive taste
If you wanna Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya
Mocha Chocalate-a what?
Creole Lady Marmalade
One more time C’mon now

Marmalade... Lady Marmalade... Marmalade...

[Christina:]
Hey Hey Hey!
Touch of her skin feeling silky smooth
Color of cafe au lait alright
Made the savage beast inside roar until he cried,
More-more-more

[Pink:]
Now he's back home doin' 9 to 5

[Mya:]
Livin' a grey flannel life
[Christina:]
But when he turns off to sleep memories creep,
More-more-more

[Chorus:]
Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada (da daeaea yea)
Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here (ooh)
Mocha Choca lata ya ya (yea)
Creole lady Marmalade

Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir (ce soir)
Voulez vous coucher avec moi (all my sistas yea)
Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir (ce soir)
Voulez vous coucher avec moi (C‘Mon! uh)

[Missy:]
Christina...(oh Leaeaa Oh)
Pink... (Lady Marmalade)
Lil’ Kim...(hey Hey! uh uh uh uh...)
Mya...(Oh Oh oooo)
Rot wailer baby...(baby)
Moulin Rouge... (0oh)
Misdemeanor here...

Creole Lady Marmalade Yes-ah...

-

Hey sista.

I can feel myself dancing, but I'm not.
shut up, Bo Bice.
Hey Stacie. ;)

I feel like writing a song, but I don't know where to start.
You know for some reason, I just recalled that time someone tagged at my blog, something like

stacy ur so sweet and obedient in class blah blah blah insert etc.
stacy ur so fake!

blah, fake. Just because I constantly show two different sides of myself.
Well, maybe, maybe, maybe.
What's it to them.
hmm.

Ten evil sins. This Chinese show on channel U, 10-11 on weekends. The music rocks, plot sucks.

Say cheesay. Anyway:

If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

Maybe I really should compose my own lyrics. Song that accurately mirrors all of me.

Or a story. I need to start writing again.
it burns!

2006-04-08T21:12:00.000+08:00

haha. (:

a-nyway, I'm in one of my uber-lazy moods today. Found the novel guide for Animal Farm, it wasn't that hard. I love that book. Anita Brookner. Elizabeth George Speare.

You know, chick-lit doesn't equate to trashy romance novels. Trashy romance novels are when stuff is horribly predictable, the woman who is somehow the only female who doesn't swoon at the sight of the rakish devilishly handsome blacksheep son of the wealthy O'Connor family. In the end, they end up passionately kissing beside the pond near his house, but somehow it never leads to sex because though they are both wild uncontrolled free people, they know when to stop. Ha.

Chick-lit, on the other hand, -at least, good chick lit- ain't just something people for the swooning and the smut and the pr0n. It actually does have good character development, leaves an impact on you, and allinall is not trashy.

There.

2006-04-08T18:53:00.000+08:00

In some conversation with a desperado.
He's like, can show ur pic?
And I say I don't have any photographs of myself on this computer, which ain't really a lie.
and he goes:

den can mms my phon...8------8

Numbers blanked out, because I respect privacy, even that of losers.

Apparently he got my email from a chain mail his friend sent him.

Chung Cheng Main.
16.
n00b.

yeah, and his reply was,

wait till u get a phone wif a cam den send me lol...

Des. Pe. Ra. Do.

gahgahgah.

The Hong Kong team came to S'pore to play against st nicks today. Of all days, I have to be occupied, but I don't regret it much.

Just look forward to the next time I'll be playin' a match.

2006-04-08T18:18:00.000+08:00

hey, hey, hey, today was the cremation.
joo seng, mandai, temple, mandai, joo seng.
9am-5pm.

Oh, 'twas sad.

The cremation, there was a viewing hall. No, not for the actual burning itself.
It'll be hard to explain.
There was this chamber. Grooves in the floor, like a train track. The 'train', an automatic machine, had my gran's coffin resting on it. And the 'train' was slowly moving towards an open door, where the coffin was pushed into wherever the burning takes place, and then the doors shut.

So many people started crying as the coffin slowly approached the doors.
My ji-gu's voice sounded broken, cracked.
"One, two, three, bye-bye ah mah."

Even my uncles were crying. The whole room, all sobs, except the younger grandchildren -including me- who weren't really close to her.

It was scary, sad, all at the same time.
Then the entire family took a bus to the temple, after that returning to collect her remains.

I'm numbed.

and still upset, in a way that doesn't pertain to the funeral.

My uncle lent me Animal Farm. It's a really nice book.
Satires and all, turns one pensive.
Only now I'm pretty lazy.

2006-04-08T00:23:00.000+08:00

Funerals.

Mine shall not be based on religions of any sort. No, not even if I decide to turn to any particular religion later in my life. I came without a religion, I go without a religion.

Imagine:

Canvas sheet stuffs forming a shelter, my coffin put on a table lined with flowers. A podium for people to ascend and say stuff about me, good and bad. I'll make sure of that in my will. ;)
Oh, it shall be held on a field, preferably the one at the dead end of Colchester Grove.
No incense, absolutely no incense, and no candles either. As environmentally friendly as possible.

My favourite music shall be playing, as well as Edelweiss and Auld Lang Syne. Maybe a kind soul will recite a few poems for me. And no, they absolutely do not have to be poems pertaining to death and regret and the like. So restrictive. Stupid. Recite something nice, like the Tyger poem by William Blake.

I insist on flowers, and not just those flowers symbolizing death and the like. My coffin shall be lined with daffodils, dandelions, roses, orchids, the pretty weedflowers that grow outside my house, sunflowers, lilies, carnations, jasmines, a couple of twigs and sticks, leaves (dried and fresh), and grass.

No monks. No priests. Etc.

I haven't yet decided if I want to be cremated or buried.
Being buried, under the ground, deep dank soil, moist and threatening.
Cremation, I suppose.

-

My ideal vacation would be a trip to France, where I get to explore all the states, not just Paris.
And then Italy. Greece. Britain.
Let's travel our way through Europe!

-

Birthday.
oh, I don't know.

2006-04-07T23:31:00.000+08:00

I'm so tired/irritated/lazy that I can't be bothered to pronounce my words properly/audibly. My mum just asked me to go and bathe. I replied, "I want to use the computer fir-"

Yeah, I didn't even bother to finish my sentence.

Returned from the fourth day of my gran's wake, incense smoke everywhere, obnoxiously loud distant relatives who talk throughout the entire session even when we're all kneeling down and praying. Stupid noise pollutants.

and inside I'm all screaming, I don't need to do this, I'm not even Taoist! but blah, my uncle's a freethinker and he's participating in the ceremony, so I do so too, out of obligation. There's a certain degree of gratitude, after all. My grandmother is me, I am my grandmother, we are all atoms and neutrons and protons and electrons.

Only my atoms are still functioning.

C'est ennuyeux.

at home, I mean.

and I wish my cousins would talk to me. It's like, now I've physically grown up and all that shite, I'm ignored. My closest cousin -that is, when I was younger- is a stranger. my cousins, my brothers, my sisters, me.

and I'm startin' to get scared, y'know. Like scared of growing up, scared of being ignored through and through, scared of books, scared of myself, scared of my relatives.

You know something's wrong when family starts to seem like school.

or maybe I should just open up to people.

I miss the times when it was people approaching me, instead of vice versa.

Because the periods of time in between the occasional family reunions are really, really long, changes are felt much more keenly.

there are times when the tap is almost forced up, and the water almost comes gushing out, but the door's always closed.

Password protect.

the cardboard is left in the open, rain and shine.

2006-04-07T17:40:00.000+08:00

What the fuck is wrong with Singapore.

They were playing Where'd You Go on radio just now, 98.7, and they'd censored out all the big bad dangerous words like 'shit' and 'fuck'.

All those paranoid parents, slow down, take a look at your kids, a swear word or two won't harm your precious babies.

but of course, because I use the word 'fuck' without censoring at least the last three letters, I am a rude, uncouth, ill-disciplined good-for-nothing who probably fails all her subjects at school.

Just shut up already.

or has the censor thing been there all the while? mmphr. Shall find out.

and naturally, the use of swear words instantly turns one into a potential gangster.
well, surprise surprise, everyone's a potential gangster.
Don't hold too much faith in non-swearers.
Don't doubt the unpredictability of human nature.
And stop discriminating against swear words.

NINEEIGHTSEVEN why did you have to succumb!
My respect for this radio station just went down one notch.
As in, you know, the people who implemented this censor thing.

no wait, the one I should be blaming is...

shucks, I don't know who to blame.

ooh, I just used the word 'shucks'.
What a bad, rude girl I am.

2006-04-07T16:07:00.000+08:00

Isolda Ferrers
Ruth Weiss
Kate Whitestone
Natalia Brookner
Judy Maule

Names I made up and love. (:
I do have a tendency to misread Natalia as Natalie, though.

Either way.

Country music rocks, geog test wasn't that bad, I'm relieved, I'm stressed, I'm scared.

I've developed an unhealthy fear for any upcoming tests. For example, our maths common test's been shifted to next Wednesday, instead of next Friday. And there's the lit report to do, and I hate doing lit reports.

I mean, I love the subject, but I hate line-by-line analysis.
And I do not like projects.
And Mr. Foo thinks my ceramic bowl is beautiful.

I can accept that. :D

I used to think that people who sucked at drawing would, by default, suck at anything else to do with art as well, and vice versa.
But apparently not.
Anyway, my hands are such that I cannot make lovely smooth perfectly symmetrical bowls like Vanessa/Hui Ting.

only imperfect, eccentrically irregular shapes, which Mr. Foo thinks are beautiful.

but that's okay.

I still want my muse back.

And the cardboard thing, y'know.

BY THE WAY.
MY GEOGRAPHY TEACHER HAS INSPIRED ME.
I -COUGH- AM NOW OFFICIALLY ANTI-DEFORESTATION! AND STUFF! LIKE THAT!

translation:

By the way.
My geography teacher has inspired me.
I -cough- am now officially anti-deforestation! And stuff! Like that!

OR:

rahrahrahrahrahrahrahrahrah.
rahrahrahrahrahrahrahrahrahrahrahrah.
rahrahrahrahrahrahrahrahrahrahrahrahrahrahrahrahrahrah.

XD

Cheryl's teaching me Rah, anyway.

a-nyway, back to the topic.
woot for chapters 25,26,27,29,30,31,39,42,43 and 46 of our geography textbook..
I am proud to announce that today, I have saved one piece of paper from the fiery inferno-ish hells of either of Singapore's 3 incinerators.

When I grow up,
I shall campaign for:

Gay rights.
Incest rights.
The saving of nature.
A change in Singapore's law system, which currently has its head up its ass.
And I shall join greenpeace.
greenpeace.org

http://www.greenpeace.org/international/campaigns/forests

Save the forests, people, the forests! Prevent soil erosion, global warming, loss of habitats for animals, extinction of animals and plants, SAVE THE FORESTS!

and heck, you might as well sign up at greenpeace now.
http://www.greenpeace.org/international/getinvolved/sign-up

My geography teacher rocks.
and so does Anita Brookner.

shall do a pretty thing.

1. Simple as this.
2. Bold anything true
3. Leave plain anything untrue

I hate my name.
I miss somebody right now.
I watch more tv than I used to.
I love olives.
I love sleeping.
I own a lot of books.
I own a lot of CD’s
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I like and respect Al Sharpton.
I curse alot.
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
I have a hobby.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I've never broken anyone else's bones.
I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
I love rain. /occasionally
I’m REALLY paranoid.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast. /occasionally
I have semi-long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one brother and/or sister.
I was born outside of Australia.
I shave my legs.
I have a twin.
I am actually wasting time doing this thing
I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D [this is where the "paranoid" thing comes in]
I like the way I look. /moreorless, sometimes, sometimes not.
I have friends.
I know how to do cornrows.
I am very pessimistic.
I think Britney Spears is pretty/hot.
I have cheated on a significant other.
I have a hidden talent. /dynamic, pshaw. :D
Im always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I have dyed my hair
I have kissed someone of the same sex. /like, my mum. on the cheek.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
I would rather eat than shop.
I would classify myself as ghetto.
Im bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
I dont hate anyone
Im a decent dancer....half-decent.
I'm embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a mobile phone.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I have never been in a real, serious relationship before.
Ive rejected someone before.
I currently have a crush on someone.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
Ive had the cops called on me before.
I bite my nails. /no, but I used to suck on my hair. :/
Im not allergic to anything deadly.
I've been depressed before.
I collect comic books
I shut others out when I'm sad
I open up to others easily.
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I watch the news
I own over 5 rap CDs
I like Disney movies
I am a sucker for pretty eyes
I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation
I love Martha Stewart
I really like someone
I am self conscious
I like to laugh a lot
I smoke a pack a day
I have cough drops when I'm not sick
I can't swallow pills
I have scars
I've been out of this country
I am ticklish
I love chocolate
I am comfortable with being me
I play computer games/video games when I'm bored
Gotten lost in the city
Saw a shooting star
Had serious surgery
Hugged a stranger
Been in a fist fight with the same sex
Been in a fist fight with the opposite sex. /not exactly a fist fight, but a physical fight, yes, sort of.

Been arrested, Or Close , or Ran Away [whoops.]
Laughed and had milk/soda come out of your nose
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator
Made out in an elevator
Swore at your parents
Kicked a guy where it hurts
Been skydiving
Been bungee jumping
Broken a bone
Played spin the bottle
Gotten the chicken pox
Ridden in a taxi
Shoplifted
Been fired
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
Stole something from your job
Had a crush on a teacher/coach
Saw someone dying /actually, Robyn's rabbit.
Driven over 400 miles in one day
Been on a plane
Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
Thrown up in a bar
Consider yourself Cool.. .
Eaten Sushi
Met someone in person from the internet
Been to a motocross show
Done hard drugs
Taken painkillers
Saw Bucks Fizz in concert
Lied to your parents about where you are
Hate more than love
Own an iPod or MP3 player
Are a sports fanatic
Would wear pyjamas to school
Have a job
Been in love
tYpE lIkE tHiS VeRy OfFtEn
Eat fast food weekly
Have self-inflicted scars
Believe in ghosts
Can't sleep if there is a spider in the room
Seen a therapist
Love white chocolate
Single
Made out in a moving vehicle
Kissed a stranger
Been obsessed with another person
Argued for the fun of it
Been to a casino
Been in a bar
Skipped school
Been punched
I see things that aren’t there
Been naked in public
Come close to death
Gotten stitches
Hooked up with 2 or more people in one night while drunk
Hooked up with 2 or more people in one night without alcohol
Bitten someone
Crashed into a friend's car
Been to Japan
Ever had a crush on someone of the same sex
Been married
I believe everything happens for a reason
Had someone cheat on you
Over dosed on jello
Have hated your life
Have no one who cares
Like Monty Python
Had a crush on John Cleese from Fawly Towers.
Would flat out tell the signifigant other you like/love the truth next time you talk to them.

2006-04-06T23:14:00.000+08:00

Academic night streets of msn messenger.
Heck, 18 people online!
I mean, that's a lot. At least for me.

I never knew there were so many people awake at 11.14pm, on the night before a schoolday.

My body is cardboard and my soul is fire.

Studied geog. Read through. Skimmed. Whatever.
I think I've memorized everything but I haven't.

I think I haven't.

hu. :D

But I realize the abundance of hypocrites (and bimbos) in my class.
Although the majority of them are nice.

gah, that aside, I wish Drina would stop interrupting our teachers. It's hilarious at times, but sooner or later it gets tiring and we're all like, Drina, shut up.

Poor Miss Siti, Ms Luo.
if we'd just let them teach. :/

but we all have a part in it, I guess. Went along and laughed anyway. Or frowned and got irritated and didn't do anything.

Otherwise she's nice.

but I smell of incense smoke. And thus I have to bathe. And wash my hair. And it's 11.17 at night. And I'm sleepy and scared shitless of my geog test in less than 8 hours time.

I might get to skip school tomorrow.
retake my geog test some other day.

but I'm a good girl.

;)

2006-04-06T15:14:00.000+08:00

hmm. If you've read any of my previous posts, here's the school's reply to my comment/coughrant on boring project topics.

Status
Status : Not accepted

Remarks :
Dear Stacy Thank you for your candid comments. What is `boring' is really a very individual matter. Besides `interest' teachers also have other considerations in deciding on a project topic. However, we do agree that it is good to consult students on project topics once in a while.

Thank you for your candid comments.
Candid.

A fancy euphemism for 'rude'. Or blatant. Or something like it.

What is `boring' is really a very individual matter.
But of course, when the majority of individuals decide that a topic is boring, 'boring' becomes a widespread matter.

Besides `interest' teachers also have other considerations in deciding on a project topic.
Can't say they're entirely without point on this.

However, we do agree that it is good to consult students on project topics once in a while.
But of course. So do it.

I'm irked by the fact that they just dismissed my carefullyrudely crafted comment. Of course, they fall back on the 'teachers have other considerations' excuse, which always works, because though cliche it does have a bit of logic.

But sheesh, teachers don't always have 'other considerations'.

It's like they're saying, I'm right, you're wrong, and that's it.
It's not wholly the case, but there is a bit of it cropping up.

But that's just my point of view.
Maybe I should consult my mum on this.

Geog test tomorrow. I'm effing scared.
All in all last year, we'd two geog tests.
One a semester.

Now it's like, two a term.

And they're only tests. Shit, sec3 shall be terribly great. Great in a terrible way. Wooo Lord Voldemort.

ahahahahahahahahha

And I have to keep reminding myself to bring The High Lord to school tomorrow, to lend to mary-anne.

Well, no offence to Trudi Canavan or Mary-Anne, but prepare to be disappointed.

I think.

ANITA BROOKNER ROCKS THE MOST!

I saw her name, emblazoned boldly on the spine of two books. I thought it was just another two copies of her book which I read, Family and Friends, but no! Two other books written by her, Providence and A Start in Life. Gosh. I love her style, her prose, her plot, her characters. Amour, amour, amour.

So naturally I borrowed them.

Part of me wishes I'd joined the library club, y'know, just so I could borrow 6 books at one go.

but nah. I'd be willing to sacrifice two books for hockey, oh, oh, yay.

ZPS' annual enterprise fair, 22 April, 9am-3pm, something like it. Saturday.
I am so gonna be there.

Geog test's scaring the shit out of me. >.<

Yes, I do know I've stated that before in this post. Another version of it, t'least.

Maybe I should try being less sarcastic/rude/candid in my newspaper article reflections, suggestions forwarded to the school's pupils suggestion board, et cetera.

...

Nah.

2006-04-05T22:54:00.000+08:00

Closure. Closure.
hmm
Don't really feel like talking about today, not that it's been bad or anything. Just disappointing, somewhat, except the jogging part -- Robyn's dad's right, it's all 'bout the breathing.

and yes, I am doing the following quiz again. takes my mind off things. (:

1. Mr. J. Cher (heh)
2. Greg
3. Sheng Yang
4. Shi Hao
5. Crab
6. Ricky (my dog, my dear dog, who's rather bald at the moment)
7. Sutherssan
8. Mushroom
9. Cheryl
10. Draco Malfoy (the fictional character, not TF)
11. Clarissa
12. James
13. Robyn
14. Paula
15. Jacque
16. Tricia
17. Mdm Ng
18. Nick
19. Amanda
20. Lena Goh

How did you first meet 13?
School bus! 1A Chinese class!

what would you do if you had never met 5?
Be happy.

What do you honestly think of 10?
After much consideration (sorry Robyn ^^;) I've decided that DM is a very cowardly person. Of course, he's forever the hero in fanfics, (esp. dmhg) but all in all, he's just a pawn. TF still has my undying support, though.

Would 19 and 20 go out?
Um. No. They both have their respective boyfriends.

Have you ever liked 9?
As a friend, yes. (:

If number 1 dies tomorrow, what is the one thing u need the person to know?
That I can actually keep up with his MEP lessons.

Would 2 and 11 make a good couple?
They might find each other boring. Or detestable.

Who is 16 going out with?
No one, at least not where I'm concerned.

Describe 7 in 3 words:
Typical little brother.
At least, little brother of my friend.

Do you think 2 is hot?
Err...

Would 1 and 17 make a good couple?
YES WOOT YES.
-cough- Okay, I admit, I rigged the names a bit so they'd end up together. But c'mon. Like, match made in heaven.

What's 20's fave colour?
Blue?

On a scale of 1-10, how cute is 15?
Quoting (with some edits) my previous answer:
Cute as in teddy bear cute, or cute as in pretty cute?
Either way.
I find no one cute.
I mean, really. 'Cute' is a horribly horrible term.

What would you do if 4 confessed his/her undying love for you?
I'd slap him across the face and tell him to stay faithful to _.
Not really.

What language does 19 speak?
English, Chinese, bit'o Spanish.

Who is 14 going out with?
Shut up.

Is 19 a boy or girl?
Three points for guessing.

Would 18 and 4 make a good couple
They might establish some platonic bonds.
Romantically, I have no idea.

What year is 17 in?
I dunno.

When was the last time u talked to 12?
CNY!

What is 6's fave band?
Actually, my dog likes piano music.

Does 14 have any siblings?
An older sister.

Would you ever date 3?
naah.

Is 15 single?
Dunno.

Have you ever taken advantage of 11 while he or she had passed out?
No.
Actually there was once in an extendedfamilytrip to Malacca, we shared a room, two separate single beds. Somehow in the middle of the night I found myself in her bed, my foot on her face, like I sleepwalked or something. :/

If 13 and 6 were forced to fight to the death, who would you put your money on?
I'm sniggering.
Ricky! Ricky!

Who will age better: 2 or 5?
Dunno?

If you had to kill one person on your list, for the good of mankind, who would you kill?
Same answer as previously.
Greg. Definitely Greg.
Or Robyn.
Or Cheryl. But I couldn't, because she'd judo me. I have no belt.

2006-04-04T21:59:00.000+08:00

Got this from Robyn's blog. (:

1. Mary-Anne
2. Liu Yi
3. Cheryl
4. Mushroom
5. Robyn
6. Paula
7. Amanda
8. Saranya
9. Greg
10. Kenneth (Cardiff)
11. Kenneth (tennis)
12. Daryl
13. Dominic
14. Suganthan
15. Shi Hao
16. Jacque
17. Nick
18. Bryan Goh
19. Sutherssan
20. Steph Loh

How did you first meet 13?
French class! When I was in p5. I remember him sniggering away at a comic, during the very first lesson.

what would you do if you had never met 5?
-legasp-
No sleepover no party no midnightsociety no han tuition no bus-mate no fellowintellectual no one to compare my height too etc.
Don't even ask.

What do you honestly think of 10?
I think he's somewhat shy. I think he might be my ex-kindergarten classmate. I envy him for being able to do chin ups.

Would 19 and 20 go out?
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

Have you ever liked 9?
Greg? You kidding? I'm omg in love with him.
Not.
BUT he is a real smart guy, and I like his intellect. (:

If number 1 dies tomorrow, what is the one thing u need the person to know?
That she's a great violinist and I admire her for being able to do melodic dictation, and she's fun to talk to. Yup.

Would 2 and 11 make a good couple?
Um. I don't know.
Liu Yi, do you have any specific taste in guys?

Who is 16 going out with?
I have no idea. But I know who she used to go out with. ;)

Describe 7 in 3 words:
Kickass-badminton-player.

Do you think 2 is hot?
Excuse me while I go imbibe a carbonated beverage. -dashes off-

Would 1 and 17 make a good couple?
No idea, honestly.
Mary-Anne? Nick?

What's 20's fave colour?
Um. Blue?

On a scale of 1-10, how cute is 15?
Cute as in teddy bear cute, or cute as in boyishlyhandsome cute?
Either way.
I find no one cute.
I mean, really. 'Cute' is a horribly horrible term.

What would you do if 4 confessed his/her undying love for you?
TANT PIS TANT PIS TANT PIS.
I mean. I'd be all okay, okay.

What language does 19 speak?
English, Tamil, and a smattering of Chinese.

Who is 14 going out with?
Ask Saranya.

Is 19 a boy or girl?
Both. :/

Would 18 and 4 make a good couple
no comment.

What year is 17 in?
2006?
I mean. Sec2 this year. 14 this year.

When was the last time u talked to 12?
Sometime after CNY.

What is 6's fave band?
I think her taste's pretty eclectic.

Does 14 have any siblings?
2. Saranya and Sutherssan.

Would you ever date 3?
>.<

Is 15 single?
He might not be soon, thanks to the advances of a certain eleven year old badminton player.
Somehow I'm reminded of Lolita.
And that's not good.
SHI HAO, YOU BETTER TREAT _ GOOD.
I can almost hear Bessie Smith singin' 'I've been treated wrong'.

Have you ever taken advantage of 11 while he or she had passed out?
Me? The innocent pure sweet untainted girl? Me?

If 13 and 6 were forced to fight to the death, who would you put your money on?
Paula. Definitely Paula. XD
No offence, Dominic.

Who will age better: 2 or 5?
5. Robyn. heh.

If you had to kill one person on your list, for the good of mankind, who would you kill?
Greg. Definitely Greg.
Or Robyn.
Or Cheryl. But I couldn't, because she'd judo me. I have no belt.

I want my bus back.

2006-04-04T14:43:00.000+08:00

got pulled out of school.
Never had that done to me before. :/

More accurately, I was pulled out of school after school, before I was supposed to go to Ju Eng home for CIP.

My gran passed away, and I feel like such a cheater.

I don't feel much for her. I tell myself, I should be sad, I should be sad, but I'm not sad and I can't be sad and because of that I'm sad. I don't think I'd want to pretend to grieve when I am, in actual fact, not grieving.

Despite the respect we should harbour, I've also been taught to speak the truth. Maybe this isn't the best case, but anyway, some of the 'moral' values we've been brought up with contradict each other.

That is, if you view each of them as separate independant entities.
If all these values are interlinked -I can just imagine the jury privately feeling relieved and nodding while looking stern, those hypocrites- then what I've just said before will be invalid, o'course.

Mr. Cher was looking at me like I was some injured kitten.

I hate being pitied when I don't feel that I deserve the pity.

So. My mum is now, technically, an orphan.
As are all my aunts and uncles.

The world has ceased to hold my grandma.

what an emotionless sentence.
both ways, prose and mental.

Long, long day.

stay blessed.

And despite my athiest-like tendencies, I still like to believe that my gran has a place to go to, after death.

Sometimes not having a religion is depressing.

2006-04-03T21:23:00.000+08:00

Sarah strolled down the pavement, aimless, not knowing where she would go, and knowing that any route would take her there. Traffic and humanity filtered past her, edging out of quiet caverns into the everyday war of the world, war of humanity, and she walked. She fished for a cigarette in her pocket, lit it, breathed in deeply. All driven on by inertia, life, time.

That day I woke up, for lack of better purpose, went to my table and started writing a letter.

Dear Sarah, I wrote,
What on earth is our purpose here? What is life, what is time, what am I?

I put it in an envelope, licked it shut, put on a stamp, went to the post office and posted it to myself.

I received it the next day, read it, and kept it in my drawer where there were more such letters. Gave me something to live for. I wrote another letter, then flopped down onto my bed and fell asleep. I’d post it the next day.

Life ticked on in the plastic clock by my bedside. Kept me going, when I tried to keep pace with it, that is. It didn’t wait. If I died in my sleep it’d still go on.

-

A skinned orange broke across a dusty sky. Dawn was spelt, the morn juice streaking over and into the crevices of nightsoot, sailing high above the slender set pine trees of the forests, the nests of larks and finches and nightingales, the hunting grounds of the owls, the rippled blue silk of the oceans and rivers. Rawness, the tiny bubble sounds in a pond, fish stirring.

-

My attempts to find my muse.
I wanted to write about the concert-inspired ones.

but, anyway.

The first one, doesn't link.
Inspired by Sophie's World, and my own obsession with life and time.

Gosh, voices just scared me.
But Nickelback is always welcome. :)
That smiley wasn't really meant.
Let's remove it.

-rewind-

Gosh, voices just scared me.
But Nickelback is always welcome.

2006-04-03T20:21:00.000+08:00

we are b-eautiful in every single way
yes words can't bring us down
so don't you bring me down
t-oday

oh man, Christina Aguilera's got a great voice.

Bo Bice too.
Nickelback.
Kelly Clarkson.
Jason Mraz.
Marion Raven.
Elton John.
Sarah Brightman.
Bill Withers.
Raven Symone.
Teddy Geiger.
Michelle Branch.
Josh Groban.
Missy Elliot.
Jesse McCartney.
Ashlee Simpson.
Black Eyed Peas.
Avril Lavigne.
:3

List goes on.

I'm bloggin' cos I've done studying with congruency, similarity, pythagoras' theorem, trig.
Well, not really. Just read through stuff.
You know, congruency and similarity actually seem easy.

But that's always the case;
I think something's easy, and for the test next day, out comes something on the very same topic that I can't understand or do.

I'm nervous.

gahgahgah.

breathe

yeah.

I found a nice wooden stick on Sunday, while walking home from Chinese tuition. Found it in the park. It's a pretty stick. Brought it home. It's beside me now, on the table.

How come it's all those brackets? bleck.

nice to have a friend. :)

Heraclitus did say, the world is characterized by opposites. No good without evil, no death without life, etc.

It's kind of like how you only cherish someone after they've gone. Can't appreciate camaraderie without loneliness. Hm, lotsa other examples, like how you only realize your hockey skills are actually not bad when you compare them to those of the newcomers in hockey. XD

no offence meant.

:3

Need to read up on Anaximander.
Love Thales, though.
My fav.'s Plato.
I mean, he lived with the ancients and still believed that women and men were equal.
I love this guy.
While I like Aristotle, he believed that men were responsible for the entire life cycle, and thus were better than women.

I, am deaf, I swear.

You know, attending mep class kinda gives me an inferiority complex. ^^;
All the musical geniuses. I feel so outta place.

When we were discussing the lit stuff today, we kept joking around. Kerina had to repeatedly tell us to be serious.

XD

She seemed quite pissed off. ^^;
mm. I used to be like that, pretty rigid. Think I've lightened up a lot, yeah.

more or less?

btw, today Mrs. Gurung (sp?) pronounced 'more or less' as 'molest'. ahaha.

And for the mep project discussion today, we kind of had trouble deciding who does what.

So apparently Kerina has to play some homemade drums (cough, guess who's making them) because she really really doesn't want to sing. Pei Hwa's playing the piano. Erin's doing something. Dizi? And Liu Yi's the celloist.

So I have to sing alone?

gah.

I will find a way out of this horrendous plan.

on a sidenote:
petty arguments. The type that whirl around like crazies for a couple of days, and then later we forget all about them. But right now I'm irked.

2006-04-03T18:18:00.000+08:00

Yadda.

Morning sleepy, slow jog for PE, recess, curry chicken rice & greentea, library, someone was playing Where'd You Go at the piano there. Love that song.
Maths, MEP, slacked, IPW, borin'.

Stacy Ooi Hui Quan
2 Faith
Topic: Student Welfare

Dear school. Why do our teachers always choose such boring project subjects for us? Why can't they consult the students as to what kind of projects they'd like to do, instead of choosing topics for us themselves. Contrary to what some may think, a project we actually, err, enjoy may not necessarily be unmeaningful.

Of couse, it's impossible to satisfy the entire level and settle on a topic that's favoured by all, but at least try to cater to the majority of us?

Teachers think the so called boring topics may be helpful for us?
Perhaps they could try to make it slightly more interesting, then. Seeking our personal opinions on the choosing of topics may help.

This term's IPW project topic for sec2s: Indian Culture.
Apparently it will help us further appreciate and understand the Indian culture.

Wrong. Have our teachers ever considered the fact that very few of us will truly have a better appreciation/understanding of the culture? Most of us treat the project as a mere obstacle in their way. They jump over it, go on their way, promptly forget about that obstacle.

Hm. I suppose the teachers don't mind us doing that, then?

Perhaps we could have a mini student council for each level to assist in choosing project topics for everyone.

Students understand students best. Teachers cannot possibly argue with that.

Besides, I'm sure teachers want their students to pay attention when they're going through project instructions.

Sincerely yours,
Stacy.

-

I think I shall submit it on epebble, Pupils Suggestions.

yay yay yay yay yay.

In fact, I am. Right this moment.

O-kay. Submitted.

Suggestion
Category :
Student Welfare
Title :
Boring Project Topics

Present situation :
Bland, uninteresting project topics chosen by teachers who try in vain to 'understand' our interests. Their efforts are appreciated, but not very successful.

Suggestion for improvement :
Why do our teachers always choose such boring project topics for us? Why can't they consult the students as to what kind of projects they'd like to do, instead of choosing topics for us themselves. Contrary to what some may think, a project we actually, err, enjoy may not necessarily be unmeaningful.

Of couse, it's impossible to satisfy the entire level and settle on a topic that's favoured by all, but at least try to cater to the majority of us? Teachers think the so called boring topics may be helpful for us? Perhaps they could try to make it slightly more interesting, then. Seeking our personal opinions on the choosing of topics may help.

Students would naturally be more keen to do a project which they find enjoyable or interesting.

This term's IPW project topic for sec2s: Indian Culture.

Apparently it will help us further appreciate and understand the Indian culture.

Wrong. Have our teachers ever considered the fact that very few of us will truly have a better appreciation/understanding of the culture? Most of us treat the project as a mere obstacle in their way. They jump over it, go on their way, promptly forget about that obstacle.

Hm. I suppose the teachers don't mind us doing that, then?

Perhaps we could have a mini student council for each level to assist in choosing project topics for everyone. Students understand students best. Teachers cannot possibly argue with that.

Besides, I'm sure teachers want their students to pay attention when they're going through project instructions.

Sincerely yours, Stacy.

-

IN YOUR FACE, _.

Indian culture. Pfft.

I love the rain.

2006-04-02T22:33:00.000+08:00

As usual, I should be sleeping.

hmm. Writer's slump. The ideas come, but the words won't.

4 months already.

The writer's mid-life crisis.
I've become a lot more spatial.

hmm, anyway. Maths test on Tuesday, haven't studied a jot. Same for Geog. Sweet sweet Stacy, the computer is hazardous. Or maybe it's just me. I hate the way what those hypocrites call 'time' control our lives. It's 10.35pm now, according to -cough- my computer clock.

Well, hey WORLD, let's all push back time by one hour! Every single freaking country in the world!
So in Singapore, it'll now be 9.35pm.
Why not.

As long as the whole world does it, hey, so little can go wrong.

Except perhaps all the moon/sun rise/set forecasts etc. will be set back by one hour, stuff like that, course.

9.35pm.
Why not?