Sinking
I thought that the rain would stop falling. I thought that the fire would stop burning. I thought that the fog would clear. I thought that some one would throw me a float to save me from sinking in this emotional turmoil.
It thought it'd change for sure, but as far as I know, it hasn't. Nothing has changed. I hate change, but this one would be welcome. I find that wherever I look, there's no one by my side.
I'm all alone.
People...people don't exactly see me as a friend to share secrets with, to go to recess with, to...to accompany. They do see me as an acquaintance, but a friend?
A friend is someone who is true to you, loyal to you - your...your other half. There are no such things as "fair-weathered friends" or "bad friends", as these aren't friends at all. Just companions. The word "friend" doesn't exactly fit into the picture as far as they are concerned.
I have no one save for companions.
I know that I am an introvert. I know that I'm anti-social. But...but what can I do? I cling on dearly to those companions I have, for I know that one day, they will become my friends. I treasure our companionship, and soon-to-be friendship.
Perchance, among my companions, there is someone who is a friend, yet whom I have not identified as one yet. But who?
I keep up the polite and courteous image because I have no problems doing it. Is that the reason why I do not have friends? Because they don't want a "prim and proper" friend?
Actually, "prim and proper" are the last words I'd use to describe myself. But I can't help it if people view me that way - though I highly doubt it. Maybe.
All I know is that I lead a lonely life. But I am a failed pessimist, so I'll say that at least being lonely isn't the worst thing in the world.
But I'm still sinking.
