Sunday, May 07, 2006

AU REVOIR. AUF SOMETHING. GOODBYE.

I'm so sorry, failedpessimist. Je suis desolee.
This is it, then. Ca y est.
phase two of my life


Goodbye. :)
I'm trying to be as unsentimental as possible, but I guess it's best not to fight it.
Onslaught of emotions, but ah, choices.
Smile and wave, boys, smile and wave.


-failedpessimist


By the way, please don't relink me. Merci beaucoup, chacun.
Classics are the books that everyone celebrates but nobody reads.


The quotes that (I think) reinforce my tentative theory of time:


Clocks slay time... time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life.
William Faulkner


Time is life! I wonder if that's what he's trying to say.
Clocks slay time. Although clocks are pretty.


Sometimes I feel that life is passing me by, not slowly either, but with ropes of steam and spark-spattered wheels and a hoarse roar of power or terror. It's passing, yet I'm the one who's doing all the moving.
Martin Amis, Money


Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them.
Dion Boucicault


Time goes, you say? Ah no!
Alas, Time stays, we go.
Henry Austin Dobson


You must have been warned against letting the golden hours slip by; but some of them are golden only because we let them slip by.
James Matthew Barrie


If you are seeking creative ideas, go out walking. Angels whisper to a man when he goes for a walk.
Raymond Inmon


That's it, I'm going for a walk.


www.quotegarden.com
http://www.ssc.gov.sg/SportsWeb/sw_cat_details.jsp?type=9&root=31&cat=244&artID=3550


Burghley Tennis Center. :)
Where I'm currently having tennis lessons until the ACSI guys finish their exams.


And:
http://www.ssc.gov.sg/SportsWeb/sw_cat_details.jsp?type=9&root=31&parent=31&cat=180


It's kinda fun. I'm making a mental list of places I wanna go to during the hols. Badminton courts, tennis courts, gyms... maybe I'll even pick up squash. Just for fun.


ohoh before I replied to anonymous, he smsed me again.


Hmm..U sure r afraid 2 reply me isit?


Okay. So I decided to pull off the poshly-superior tone. :D


um, darling, has it ever crossed your mind that you're not really -worth- a reply? i don't honestly hold much with anonymous people, but i suppose i'll make an exception, since you're so persistent. no, i don't want 2 c u, since i'm not comfortable with secretive people in the first place, but i would consent to online chats. add me at anastazsia, hotmail - but only if you would care to, naturally. Up 2 u.. :)


He actually fell for it.
I think he's a coward.


Wad anastazsia? Is it anastazsia@hotmail.com?


And I affirm that nonchalantly.


It's fun attempting to play cool. :D
With jerks, that is.
And yesssss, I do have an anastazsia@hotmail.com. Just don't use it much.


haha, I realize I sound like I'm bragging. Okay, I admit, this anonymous has kinda piqued my curiosity, if only momentarily.



Sunday's gone already. Sort of. I can't wait till the holidays.


Tennis camp, second week of the June holidays, tentatively.


I can't wait till French class. Get my results back.
Though I betcha I'll get a B at best. :)


TAXI TAXI TAXI
DOMINIC LYDIA CLAUDIA


ag.
"I dropped my phone four times," says my sister.
ag. Primary three and she's got a camera phone!
Okay. I got my first phone when I was in primary five. I spent forty dollars playing Snake and my mum scolded me and I stopped playing Snake but occasionally I do go to Neopets and play meerca chase.


Having cup noodles now.


Since xanga's out of the way, maybe I'll consider a livejournal. I've already got one, but I'm not telling, because my posts there are incredibly stupid.


PAP won for Aljunied. :D


Imagine a fiery tempered, wilful bar hostess/bitchy goth falling for the charm of a blue eyed sunshine surfer dude and going all tame and 'awww' in his strong muscled arms.


That's exactly what makes fiction unrealistic.


Let her walk out on him. Scar his pretty arms. Cheat on him.


Now that's what she'd do. yaay


No wait, no scar. Apparently that only makes guys more attractive. well gah! The world is sexist.


I'm considering getting a tagboard.
And a new skin.
C'est ennuyeux.


"I hate green tea peppermint."
ohmygosh. My sister just said that! She just said that!


oh, and she asked me to leave messenger on when I leave for Chinese tuition, because she wants to talk to my friends. It's fun, according to her. She'd know. She's done it twice already, due to my extreme carelessness. So if "I" suddenly start talking to you in chatspeak, YOU KNOW IT'S HER.


okay. Cup noodles are not good.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

You know a few posts ago, I mentioned anonymous' latest message. I didn't reply to it, and now anonymous has sent another sms:


Y? Afraid 2 reply?


gah. That guy annoys the shit outta me.
He's rather unskilled in the ways of conversation, and I'm not talking about chatspeak here. If you, dear reader, are interested- I'll give you his handphone number and you can help me flame him.


quoting his previous previous sms:
since i noe u n if u 1 2 c me,we can meet up! Up 2 u..


No, I don't want to c him, but if he wants to c me, he can always say so. (because if I'm guessing correctly and he's Stanley, he's been pretty brazen before)


Alright, you know something bothers me when I mention it in more than one paragraph when blogging.


just... let me rant. Okay. Steeeeeeeeeam.


-breathe in-


DESPO DESPO DESPO DESPO DESPO.


although that's rather hypocritical of me to say so, because I admit, if I liked a guy and he desperately wanted to see me, it'd seem rather romantic. Though if that's repeated more than once, I'll be seeing him as needy and over-protective or maybe wimpy and clingy and I'd... dump him or something.


I got the May issue of LIME. Funny, it's all gossip and interviews and reviews and stuff. It's pretty pointless, three bucks for a ten minute read. And I like it.
Just like I adore (good) chick-lit.
Chick-lit is pretty stereotyped, though.
Trashy chick-lit is what most readers have in mind.
But chick-lit is often funny, or at least poignant and romantic.


ohh anyway. Maybe it's the exhilaration at finally catching up with friends, but anyhoo.
I went to Shell with Paula.
We went to Conway and talked a lot.
Then Saranya and Amanda came, coincidentally, though we weren't really surprised at their arrival. And we talked with them.
And then Shi Hao and Sutthersan came, and they kept away for a while, and then Sutthersan approached us, and then etc etc and finally all of us hung out at the red monkey bar place.


I sang a lot. Any song my memory could catch hold of.
The ZPS song.
SNGS school song (though I could only remember the first few lines, it's in chinese so I didn't really bother memorizing it much)
Majulah Singapura!
Yue4 liang4 dai4 biao3 wo3 de xin1
Yue4 lai2 xiang1 (I could only remember these three words)
Edelweiss.
top of the world!
some familiar but dodgy melody I was humming


doremi


do, a deer, a female deer
re, a drop of golden sun
mi, a name, I call myself
fa, a long long way to runnnnnn
soh, a needle pulling thread
la, a note that follows soh
ti, a drink with jam and bread
and it brings us back to
do-oh-oh-oh
etc.


I love trying to reach high notes.


I admit, I miss having a social life in my neighbourhood.


Saranya's moving.
Nigel's moving.
Saranya?! Why oh why oh why!
Nigel? Okay, I can deal with that since I didn't know him well, but it'll be funny - driving past his house and knowing there's no Nigel inside.


Paula and I have made a pact-
we shall play badminton just about every day during the June hols, so she can become a kickass player, and after the holidays she can audition for badminton and get into the team.
she thinks ZSS sucks.
I think SNG sucks too.
ZPS and Kindergarten and Alliance Francaise are the best schools I've ever attended. :D
okay, kindergarten wasn't that good. I kept crying. I was spoilt. I was the only one in my level who hated vegetables. Sometimes as punishment they sent me to eat with the nursery section.
okay, kindergarten sucked. The guys bullied me and those younger than me shunned me.
I had this sort of reputation as the kindergarten crybaby.
hahah, Paula also had some sort of reputation. I'm not sure what exactly but during afternoon nap time, she always slept next to the wall, away from the rest of the k2s.


hm. okay. Gonna reply to anonymoussssssss
Just woke up. Past four hours or so have been spent locked up in my room, and me alternating between sleep and fuzzy moments of consciousness. Tiredtiredtired. Stupid powerpoint imma sending to Paula is taking ages to load. Switching to gmail now. HURRY UP HURRY UP.
Sorry I'm in a bad mood. Funny how things always choose to go wrong when you're in a bad mood. Stacy after she has just woken up is rarely in a good mood.


oh, now gmail isn't working.


Not Found
Error 404


STUPID THING GRAGHHHHHHH.


gsriiuau876y76uewasdszned


I give up. I'll send the powerpoint later. Happy now, gmail?


gaaaaaaah


off to Shell with Paula now.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Ceramic lessons are fun.
I like moulding stuff with my hands, though I'm not that good at moulding anyway.
I don't like coiling, though. On that spinning thing. I've got no control where endlessly spinning stuffs are concerned.


When I was in my cardboard phase, I had this thought of the soul being a frightened thing, two eyes peeking out of a cardboard box in lieu of our body.


mind soul body


oh gaah, I don't know. I feel like I'm two people. It's someone else who's the lit rep. It's someone else who gets praised and scolded. It's someone else who talks to all the people on msn while I sit pondering in a comfy black leather swivel chair.


Accompanied my mum to King's Medical just now. Walked around the empty clinic a bit while she was in the doctor's room thing. There were lots and lots of posters on birth control, erectile d-something, more so than other posters and brochures. Levitra thing. Apparently Viagra's not all that good anymore.


Anyway, they had this height measurement thing. Started from 60cm. I stood next to it and was all, oh gosh, I can't be shorter than 145cm! If I was 140cm or so, then... Okay, I tried to estimate Robyn's dad height (180) according to the way the measure was positioned, and... he'd be almost as tall as the ceiling.


Man, they placed the measure way too high up.


chariot!
chari-ot!
gavin degraw.
chariot!
I want


to play tennis every single day.
to play badminton every single day.
to play hockey every single day.
to go jogging every single day.
to do the monkey bars every single day.
to read good chick-lit.
to have a beautiful long conversation with at least one person every day.
to tour Europe. (pretty much sums it up, but it loses the pizzazz. France! Paris! Italy! Venice!)
to sing!
to dance!
that enya cd.


Might as well set my goals.


Academically:
English: High A1
Lit: High A1
Maths: Borderline A2
Chinese: Borderline B3
Biology: Borderline A1
Chem: Average A1
Physics: can't tell yet. Hopefully a borderline A2.
Geography: Borderline A1
History: High A2
MEP: B4
Art: B3


If I hit my targets, perhaps I'll persuade my mum to sign me up for creative writing classes.


Sports:
hockey-
to perfect my tackle, dribble, hit, sweep, false passes. Especially tackle and false passes.


tennis-
just... to be able to play a proper, fast-paced game. And be able to serf over the net.


NAPFA-
60 situps.
30 pullups.
A C for sitandreach, whatever that may be.
An A for standing broad jump, whatever that may be.
An A for my shuttle run, whatever that may be.
At the most, 12 minutes for the 2.4km run.


Maybe I'll considering getting a new hockey stick if I achieve all the sports-related goals.


yay.


Going to the rgs choir concert next Thursday. Supporting Pei Ying, par normalement, haha.
Man, I miss primary school. I miss primary school. I miss it so bad.


ZHONGHUA
I LOVE YOU
I NEED YOU
I WANT YOU SO BAD.


Gone people... up awkward with their things... gone.
From Gone Going by Black Eyed Peas.


Is it me, or does that line definitely have some sexual implications?


And Tom Cruise said something about Katie Holmes now being Kate Holmes because that's a proper name for a child-bearing woman who's grown up and all.


That seems pretty chauvinistic, the asshole.
But if she's okay with it, then, well, okay. Her choice. :/


but jeez. Kate Holmes?


Drove past the stadium place where WP was rallying. My mum and I. Gosh, it was amazing. The place was effing jammed up and everywhere there were people people people!


We backed out though. Too many cars. Not enough space.


Apparently my granduncle on my dad's side was the founder of the Singapore Progressive Party, years and years ago. They lost to PAP though.
Wait, was he my granduncle?
He was my grandmother's sister's husband.
So yeah. We're not related by blood, but it's kind of interesting to have such a, err, political (?) relative. Maybe he's dead now.


Yeah, must be. Otherwise I would've met him before.


Then again, you never know. I've realized that I have no idea who half of the people from my dad's side are. All those distantly related people who know my name, or only recognize me when my grandmother points out that I'm 'ah boy's eldest daughter'.


My dad's known as 'ah boy' in the family, though he's like, forty plus.


Okay.


I am... ah boy's eldest daughter. Cool.

beauty of the beast

ooh. Molten curry.
Something went wrong in the microwave.
Once I tried to turn playdough into ceramic by putting it into the microwave.
Came out burnt and stuff.


Needs to be like, one or two thousand degrees.


Clay and stuff is so fussy. Ceramic.
Just like I'm a really really fussy eater.
No vegetables. Absolutely no vegetables.
Nothing with onion in it.


And all the other pet peeves that will take too long to list.
They sell pig ears to dogs.


I went to Pet Station with Robyn and Paula today. We saw a St. Bernard. Golden retriever. Cavalier. Pomeranian. Beagle (uber cute, fyi, that one). Highland terrier, or smth like that. Husky. French bull dog. Dober... Dober what? There was a cage which was labelled 'Schnauzer' but there was no Schnauzer inside. Daaaaaaamn.


I remember Zong Han had a Schnauzer. He talked about it a lot. He said it was fat but ran fast. He said once his mum bought a live crab, put it in the plastic bag and put it on top of the microwave for the night. In the morning it was walking about in the plastic bag on the floor. He said he was forced to attend piano class because his sister did. He said his sister tattled on him a lot. He said... he said what? Oh. He said he hates being called Wilson, which is his christian name. He was liulaoshi's pet, albeit an unwilling one. He's a pretty funny guy who always passed my paper to the back, stole my hairband, played pranks on the girls.


Oh, wow. Lovely primary school memoriex. hahas.


Paula gave me a flower. Hibiscus.
We had a lovely garden, before our house got renovated. Carpet grass, a rosebush that didn't bloom much. My grandma always said that once a full rose bloomed, a tiny, pretty fairy baby would emerge from within the flower. Thus I watered them quite diligently.
We had hibuscuses too. They were really pretty. And we had the... allamanda? I'm not sure. It's the yellow flower with poisonous leaves.


Plants grow fruits to protect their seeds.


haha, I remember that! Mrs. Lee taught us that! In p5 or something. I found it immensely interesting and noted it down in my wooden notebook, which I still bring to school everyday but don't write in. It's the one in which I diligently copied all my p5 and 6 science notes, the one I memorized for PSLE, the one Robyn borrowed to copy in the car. :D


Warm air contains more moisture than cold air.


I thought otherwise, in primary school. It came as quite a surprising bit of trivia. Useful trivia which came in handy for section B of the PSLE Science paper of 04.


STEFI. SHUT UP. YOUR UNNECESSARY SCREAMS ARE GREATLY DISTURBING ME.


Stop whining. Stop stop! Stop!


Does anyone want a free younger sister?


okay, I take that back.
But that doesn't mean she doesn't annoy me.
I'm just sure that deep down, deep deep down in my little stubborn heart, I love my sister. Deep down inside.


Remember how we always used to tease each other.
oooooh Robyn loves mushroom!
Saranya loves Shi Hao!
Amanda loves Shi Hao!
Paula loves Shi Hui!
kekes lolx.


Fun while they lasted. ;)


Though the embarrassment part, not quite.
I still can't forget that time we were at the playground, and Kenneth and blueshirtguy came cycling past, Amanda shouted out, "Stacy loves Kenneth!"
C'mon, we didn't even know each other. We only cycled past each other once or twice, occasionally, etc.
F'shit. He's been avoiding me ever since.
I was so angry that day, I started flinging sand at Amanda and Saranya.
eheh, sorry.
Royal humiliation, that.


I haven't had my revenge yet.


But that was two years ago.


hm. oh well.
Imma using Robyn's computer now. Paula's reading Newpaper. Robyn's watching some fashion show thingy. We're supposed to meet Saranya and the rest at Conway... soon.


The first inkling of my social life (consisting of more than two people or so) finally emerges after months and months.


Robyn, your backspace key is so hard to presss. Tinyyyy.


Paula's behind my back now. Reading what I'm typing.
We're supposed to be studying, but my study materials are on the table behind me, abandoned and pitiful.


Oh, Saranya and Amanda just came.


SARANYA WHY ARE YOU WEARING A JACKET. IT IS SO EFFING HOT IN HERE.


Hi Amanda.


I like Robyn's computer.


Hi Saranya.


Mad aren't you, Amanda's saying to me.


Hello. I'm not the one wearing a sweater in such hot weather.


Since 3.30pm I'vebeen here.


today in class, Calista said, "Let's go to the toilet."
And Pei Hwa said, "Okay, I also wanna go."
And I said, excitedly, "Let's go let's go to the toilet wheee"


And later in class, again Calista said, "Let's go to the toilet."
I heard her say "Let's go to China."


We had a mini squabble, involving a pair of red scissors, and somehow I ended up threatening to kill myself with it.


Mary-anne was absent today. During common test period, the teacher asked, "Is that girl absent?" while pointing to Mary-anne's empty seat. She was attending her relative's funeral or smth.
And one of our classmates said, "Funeral."


And we all burst out into giggles.


Hello i am robyn and i am interrupting her blog entry. its been ages.

you know you miss me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111


Okay. Continuing.


Mr. Foo thinks my slipper was cute.


I mean, we made tiny ceramic slippers, for art class.


Mr Foo said, "Haiyah, polling day tomorrow. Who d'you think I should vote for? PAP, WP, SDP?"


He revealed that he refuses to, at home, use the internet. He doesn't use modern stuff like iPods etc., he doesn't have a television, and I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't have a handphone. He says these will interrupt his work. He's an artist and art researcher. Eccentric guy who once snapped at our vice-principal. oh and that time, our class pissed him off. He shouted at us to "Get out", and after that he wrote on the whiteboard in the art room, "Irritated by 2Faith today".


but he's a nice guy. Open-minded and appreciative.


Now that's the kinda teacher I like. :D


oh, and someone scrawled on the teacher's table a love declaration to Mr. J. Cher.
Gotta love that hairy chest.
I heard Natalie scream that. :/
excusez moi s'il vous plait.


Robyn's gonna show me who Samsee is.


And she's sec4 so she's retired.


It hurts to laugh, oh my stomachhhhhh.


My mum might take me to a rally later. To 'see what it's like'.


I'd like that. :)
6.27pm. Maths test in slightly more than an hour's time.
I'm afraid I'll blank out like I did during the previous test and not know how to do anything and fail.


Tirrrrrrred.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Anonymous smsed me again.
WAIT. There. Are. Two anonymous people smsing me. Their numbers are different, wtf. Or maybe it's the same person using different phones.


Hi sori few days didnt reply. Was busy. Anw since i noe u n if u 1 2 c me,we can meet up! Up 2 u..


One word:
Despo.


Maybe it's Stanley. Gragh.
I didn't really expect my mum's laptop to hold so much, but I found all the pictures she took this year. Mostly those of the funeral, but anyway. I'd fun looking through all of them.
































Kenn Ji, my sister, Gimm.
Went cycling for the first time in ages. Did a few rounds on the monkey bar. Didn't hang upside down though. I forgot. And it would've been rather uncomfortable if I did, what with the quarrelling couple in the pavillion nearby. Couple. I'm merely speculating here.


Pedalling the slope to Conway. A girl shouting. I thought it was a guy. I thought it was two friends quarrelling.


Cycling round the park. The girl is howling, screaming, the whole park can hear her. The guy, spectacled, calm, trying to reason. The girl is rather plump, and I caught a few snatches of ni3 bu yao4 wo3 le. You don't want me anymore.


She keeps screaming, keeps screaming. And then she runs, out of the pavillion, onto the road. She's standing there, one lone figure, at the white line that divides forward from backward. I'm standing where the monkey bar is, can't help looking at her for a moment, then avert my eyes and do my first round of the bars. She's crying all the while.


When I do an about turn on the bars, there's a car, nearly knocks her down. Then she's kneeling at the side of the road, squatting maybe, and I do another about-turn. I get off the bars. She's now in the pavillion again, crying.


Then I can't stand it anymore and I leave the park after doing two more rounds of the monkey bar.


The guy'd been strict and calm all the while. When she ran onto the road he was all, "You want to make this ugly? You want to make this ugly?"


When I left he was wiping away her tears.


So, okay.


Isn't it funny, Robyn, how we've witnessed more than one break-up at that park. There was once, at the 'upper deck', there was a guy and a girl at the most secluded chess table. It mightna have been a breakup, I dunno, but the girl was crying as she left.


And then the other time, at the pavillion, a guy and a girl. The guy walked away. The girl too, but she after a few steps she collapsed onto the lamppost and knelt down and cried and cried.


But also, sweet teenage love. A couple, dressed in their school uniforms, snogging the lights out of each other.


Parks are so unpredictable.
What comes easily is not treasured.
oh, oh yeah.


This morning someone in class was going, "Where's my pen? Did anyone see my pen?"
I couldn't help but remember that 'pencil' was derived from the latin something 'little penis'.


Pen. Cil.
Okay. So just plain 'pen' would mean, uhh...


Where's my pen? Did anyone see my pen?


God. Shut up.


Assembly was pretty hilarious, at least the part where the actresses got off stage to interview some teachers. Mr. Wong was it.


What's your name?
And he says, in a dazed 'what?' kinda way, Mr. Wong.
Okay, Mr. Wong, how do you feel about teaching in a girls' school?
In the same manner as before, he says, "Good".
Okay. So what do you think Sandy here should wear for her hot date with Justin?
He pauses to think, leans into the microphone and says, "white blouse white skirt".


Gosh. It seems so deadpan here but it was absolutely hilarious back there.


And I think my situps from yesterday's NAPFA are finally catching up with me. My stomach hurts, rather.


No tennis today. Cancelled.


I feel silent and tired, and... I wanna practise Allegro. So many mistakes, yet again, exam in three -two- months and god oh god I'm so unprepared.


Maths common test tomorrow. I've never been this scared.
And I think that my way of dealing with problems is ignoring them. My fear is hidhidhidden in some deep dark crevice of my mind and will emerge tomorrow, triumphant and screaming. I suppose I'd better mug later.


Who coined the term 'mug'? I'm practically addicted to it.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

I'm listening to the Phantom of the Opera themesong. la la la la LAAAAAAAA
la la la la LAAAAAA
Lovely, that one.


"You remember what you want to remember." Quoted by someone I've forgotten.
That's tres vrai.
For some part. E.g. Mary-anne's got this really easy to remember handphone number, but I don't really bother to memorize/remember it, so I can't.


The Phaaaaaaaantom of the opera is here
Inside my mind


Sing once again with me
Our strange duet
My power over you
Grows stronger yet
And though you turn from me
To glance behind
The Phaaaaaaaaaantom of the opera is there
Inside your mind


no particular reason. :D
I just adore the tune.
looky this: http://www.darklyrics.com/n/nightwish.html



Sanest choice in the insane world...
Beware the beast but enjoy the feast he offers


(Beauty of the Beast)


Schweet.


Today was a total fluke.
Academics:
Said Mrs. Lee, never start a sentence with 'and'.
F'shit. Why not? Find me a contemporary work where the writer never starts a sentence with 'and'.
Rules are to be manipulated. Shredded and torn until only a small resemblance is left.
But of course, teachers are always right.


NAPFA. Pull-ups are my saving grace.
And sit-ups, some might say.
I don't know what came over me. I did my sit-ups so... rushedly. The teacher-ic thought I wasn't going down enough.
Li-Lin laoshi. Oh, blah. I had to redo them thrice. The last time slowly, slowly, so I could prove to Li-Lin laoshi that I was doing my sit-ups correctly.
And thus I did more than ten sit-ups less than last year. Which is still an A, but I'm feelin' sad. Gah oh man, sit-ups are supposed to be my best item.
Shuttle run! I'm a slow old lady.
Standing broad jump! From a 1.78m during PE time to a lowly 1.54m.
Sit and reach. 36cm. I can't remember. Thirty-something.


Think it's silver.


G'bye, consecutivethreeyearsgoldaward. So long. Farewell. Auf somethi-ing good by-e.


I should cheer up. It's just a stupid- a stupid... a stupid test which means a lot to me.
Okay. Think I'll go and mope around for a bit.


oh, and hockey sucked. Quatre mots:
I suck. We suck.
Coach sweeping a gaze over the sectwos, saying, "I'm very disappointed with you all."


STACY. YOU GO GIRL.
GO GO GO YOU CAN DO IT.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Wow. Did you(?) read today's papers? People aiming to join the government sniping at each other in public. No, that's degrading but not wrong. Everyone has emotions. Never apologize for showing them. I just thought, that's a cat fight, between two guys. :D


HAH I CAUGHT THEM I CAUGHT THEM.


Spray each other with verbal venom. That's cute.


And I'm thinking...
gosh.
I just wondered. Do I seem like an insensitive, cruel poser? Who, you know, disses her classmates and stuff. I wouldn't do that. The only people I'll diss (and even then, subtly) are people who annoy me. Like tickling me incessantly. Being petty. Being spoilt. Following me around during recess! People who only turn to me when their buddies don't wanna hang out with them. Overbearing people. The arrogant. The snobbish. The whiny.


oh, especially the whiny. I still remember that time.


Should I go? They didn't tell me about the meeting and they still want me to attend it but I can't make it! They should have told me earlier right! But if I don't go then they'll scold me!



and I reply, patiently: Then don't go. It's their fault they didn't tell you. Case closed.


I dunno leh. They'll accuse me of not doing work and stuff. But my mum will scold me if I go!


me: Why would your mum scold you?


I dunno. Should I go? Should I go?


And I shrug and ignore her. And PE lesson starts.


During PE: So should I gooooooooooooo?


After PE: Eh Stacy I eat recess with you?


I'm so fed up, I pretend not to hear her. Shut up, I never said I was mother Teresa.


But she catches up with me anyway. "So should I gooooooooo?"


Later I abandon her while she's eating, so she can't follow me. I wave cheerfully, smile, and say energetically, "Bye!"


And I escape to the library. My sanctuary.


But she'll be okay. She'll find someone else to pester.


Edit: I just realized I'm being whiny about others being whiny. So that kinda makes me a hypocrite.


I want to hit something. But nevermind. Self-contradiction is healthy. Arguments with oneself. The first signs of madness. Arguments are mind-stimulating- wait, that sounded wrong. Tant pis tant pis tant pis. SELF CONTRADICTION IS HEALTHY. SELF CONTRADICTION IS HEALTHY.


I think I'll just continue with my post.


I just realized that deja vu, translated literally from French, means 'already seen'. Which corresponds effectively with its actual meaning. Gosh, I only realized that today, on the way back from school. Connecting languages is so fun.


My mum says that if I take lit, I'll have to work really hard for it. So I stand at least a slight chance of getting a scholarship to Oxford. I mean, I'll have to work hard for other subjects, but yeah.


And she also wants me to take triple science. Like take triple science in school, and lit outside, as an additional subject. Because SNG, this accursed school, doesn't allow more than 10 curriculum subjects.


btw
http://www.xanga.com/forchancedtrains


I've decided that it won't be my blog. Just my blog for spares of prose/poetry/philosophies etc.


And I'm considering setting up a Stacy's Collection of Heart-Bleeding Poetry and Prose.


your words r a knife cuttin in2 mah heart ;_;
i shouldve known u just wanted me 4 a quick fuck
n now da real knife is slittin mah wrist
goodbye, motha fucka, i'm givin u one last kiss
Lire-ca!
http://home.pacific.net.hk/~rebylee/text/prince/1.html


I have to do a book review on that. By tomorrow. And I lost the book.
So, being the smart, composed girl that I am, I did not fret and turned to the internet where I was sure such a classic could be found.
And I was right!
now you see why I never want to grow up, why I'm hopelessly in love with Neverland and flying and fairies and Peter Pan.


Piano in a couple minutes time.
Today was pretty horrible, but pretty, all the same. I failed Maths and history! Too-wheet.
I'll aim for triple science, but even if I do qualify, I shan't take it. I'll have to give up lit if I do. (Or quit MEP, yay, but that's impossible)


I'm not depressed. Kinda gotten used to failing stuff.
GODDDDDDDDDDD.


It was scarely any larger than a house!


I love intepreting stuff. Metaphors and all. Only it's a bit harder with poems.
Imagine and learn


with Playhouse Disney!


gosh, I love that channel. I like the classic Winnie the Pooh. What's a Pooh? I don't know. WINNIE WINNIE. And his hunny.


Her?


oh, pooh bear, you are droll.


Christopher Robin! Christopher Ro-bin! Yoo-hoo!


Just trying to imitate the characters. Childrens classics rock.
I'm not even going to pretend that I like those 19th century classics. To hell with Ivanhoe, works of Thomas Hardy, Wuthering Heights, etc. Although they do come in handy when trying to impress adults. Not that I try much; I have a reputation for reading a lot in my family. They see a new book in my hand, assume I'm actually gonna read it, and go, "Oh! Ivanhoe! That's a good book. Wah, so yong4 gong1 ah."


And I blush and say, "No lah, just started only."


Something like that.


Adults are so gullible.


Or boring. See The Little Prince.

Monday, May 01, 2006

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
WTF

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
i haven't done it yet!

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
i mena

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
mean*&

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
the book review

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
DO I LOOK LIKE I'VE DONE IT?

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
-wait, you can't see me now-

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
but anyway yeah

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
>.< the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
gosh

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
must be from the list, right?

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
why is it that every sentence seems to have sexual implications

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
to me

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
err

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
haha

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
yeah

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
yeah

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
yup

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
HAHAHAHA

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
NO STACY I HAVE NOT DONE 'IT'

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
:D


-



mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
It won't hurt, I promise.

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
HAHAHA

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
I HATE ENGLISH ENRICHMENT

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
i KNOW I KNOW

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
i died laughing when i saw that

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
that was sick

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
i thought you liked?

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
hahaha

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
nooooo

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
haha


-


Bewarrre.
Stacy is on an edge. Stacy is scary. Stacy is mean. Stacy is sick.
That sounded wrong.
wheee
Your cold eyes cut into my soul,
full of concealed hurt and pain.
I'll remember that look forever,
etched into my memory,
burning into my heart
stretching forth into my abyss of misery.

Your hurt causes my hurt,
and now you're gone,
and I'm crying out but no one's hearing me,
and the crystalline tears fall to the ground and freeze in time,
a symbol of our doomed love...


egads. HAHAH. XD
RAAAAAAAAAAIN.


It just started raining! Like, drone, mmmm, drooooooone... BOOM.
So clear and precise and exact and even it falls.


Wait, I can't believe it, the rain's stopped.


Like five seconds.


oh, it's starting again. Low to high now. I'm reminded of my tennis coach. Low to high, Stacy, not high to low! I feel like every muscle in my body's slackening. I'm afraid to pick up the book I have upstairs. I'm scared of the decision Ladybug's gonna make. That type of book where I actually try to feel what it's like to be in her shoes. Though I'm not truly in them yet.


I've had a particular obsession with candles lately. Leeelo.
I went to Marina Square with my 'rents just now. Came across a pretty quirky store. I wanted to get a tie. Cloth ones that you wear just for fun. But my mum, with all her practicality, convinced me otherwise. Apparently it wouldn't match any of the clothes I usually wear. And I couldn't wear it anywhere, anyway.


When on earth was the last time I bought something for fun? :/
wait, just today! GUESS WHAT I BOUGHT FROM THE DIY PLACE IN MARINA SQUARE.
Candles. Lovely, lovely candles.


I shall cab right back there and get that lovely tie.
I think.


oh gawwwwwwd.


I feel ill. Stomach churning. But in reality I'm okay, I'm totally fine, I just feel like shit. Well, not really. I feel okay. I just don't want to break the clockwork.


Last Words - Thousand Foot Krutch
Blood Brothers - Iron Maiden


My parents and my sister are watching baby videos.
I don't remember feeling like how I think I would be feeling at that time.
I can't recall myself in the airport, chewing gummy bears out of a packet.
I still remember curling myself into my doll. We fit perfectly. Our bodies were the same size. And now I'm so much taller and my doll seems much smaller, it's hard to think I was ever that small.


And I'm so much taller than previously but I still think I'm short.
gosh. We say so many things we don't mean.


Magazines fail to amaze, fyi.
"He took my virginity and made me a drug addict."
Pity, pity, oh yeah.


Ministry of Healths all over the world are concerned with bird flu and stuff. Actually, each day most people die of starvation. Sending food over to Africa and stuff would be a lot easier as compared to coming up with vaccines and stuff in the lab. Just put your stuff aside and help a bit. It won't hurt, I promise.


haha that sounded wrong.
WE'RE BLOOD BROTHERS
WE'RE BLOOD BROTHERS
WE'RE BLOOD BROTHERS
WE'RE BLOOD BROTHERS


even a litany like this fails to reach the hearts of the mainstream. Oh well.
There's really no reason why we should care.
We could leave all the starving people to starve.
Our lives wouldn't suck any less yeah. =D
wheee the rest can go ahead.


Imma helpin' the poor in Myanmar and the dolphins and the sharks when I graduate!


yay for the world we live in.
Know what?
What?
I woke up at 8 today. After sleeping at 1am.
Liar.
I'm not lying. Why on earth would I be blogging at this time, then?
Fine, you're telling the truth.
You're such a horrible conscience.
Why?
What conscience doubts its bearer?
I didn't doubt you.
Yeah, and what did you just do?
Fine. Okay.


Some conversation I fabricated in my mind on the way to the bathroom.
It's true. I woke up at 8. Amazingly.
I'm the first one awake. For the first time in months.
The morning is beautiful and I shall not waste it. Hm. Cycling to the park, monkey bars, maybe I'll swing down at Hock's. I'm hungry, though. My stomach is positively burning.


I think my hair looks nicer after I just awake, as compared to after I washcombdry it and stuff.
Imma forest girl. :D
But seriously. It actually looks alive (though hair is, technically, dead except for the tiny bit nearest to the scalp). Breathing. wait, breathing hair would be freaky.
But it's better than being flat and tied up into a ruthless ponytail, the hairstyle which I've maintained for... forever.
I MIGHT CUT IT SHORT.
HENNA IT.
yeah.
I haven't combed it since I got up, anyway.
and fyi, yes, I did mean what I said in my previous post. I washed my hair last night/morning at about midnight. So under no grounds can you say that I'm a filthy girl for not washing my hair in the morning.


Look at the amount of text I've dedicated to my hair. :)


I like ships. Not those modern cruisers. The old fishing types. The one that took Katherine Tyler from Barbados to Wethersfield. The one where Katherine Tyler met Nathaniel Eaton.


{THE WITCH OF BLACKBIRD POND}


That rocked.


I'm a sucker for historical romances, but only those authentic both in setting and characters. The latest one I read (No shame, no fear) was horrible. Romance driven. Cheesy closure. Will and- shiti'veforgottenhername clinging on to each other for every single second!


Sappily syrupy. Shudder.


Don't cry. We won't be parted, I promise.


I liked that line though. Only because I like the word 'parted'. There's a nice ring to it.
Don't read that book.


ohoh see!
Yoceeda's msn nickname:
IMPORTANT! ~ The anime gang of class 2 faith is starting a blog. It's still not ready though...


Yay. Everyone loves the anime gang.
Though I dislike manga. Personally.
shhhhhhhhhhhhh
HEY STACY YOU CAN DO IT.
I know you can.
It's just me who can't.


ohh and the knight came sailin' on a pretty ship
by the name of her ladyship the queen!
Elizabeth the first was her bonny name
and never a suitor had she.


My history book thing, or rather, a biography of Elizabeth I, is resting on the box beside my bed where my tennis racket usually rests. I stopped reading some months back. Too tedious. Too much informationnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. Sorrry, I feel drowsy. It's just that every few sentences, I get this urge to jot down everything I've read, and it gets tiring in the end. Like I can't just read for enjoyment. I have to be thorough and stuff and make meticulous notes.


So I give up.


But I think I'll start reading it again. Soon. I don't know when.


Returned from Robyn's house. The white rabbit is adorable. I miss Winter and Pampers.
Pampers and The White Rabbit share my birthday. I can't believe I forgot that.


We didn't go to Conway, actually. Just sat around, did homework, studied (a little), sang snatches of songs, had instant noodles. I laughed a lot. Almost spit out my soup, par normalement.


I'm getting kind of disheartened here.
friendfriendfriend where are you.
I think I'll be better after a bath. As always. And I shall wash my hair though it is ten minutes past midnight.


oh yeah, happy May, everyone who -cough- bothers to read.
And you get a virtual cookie if you comment.


on the otherhand, lufuopsis ab initio.
Refer to Ruby Enz for clarification. Ruby/(you know who you are), if you're reading this, don't tell! XP