Today I was happy I was angry I was moody I was upset I made a fool out of myself I was bursting with teen angst. Angst, for that matter. I hate not being in control of my emotions. My EQ must be a boiling 1.
A few months ago when I was in the skeptical adolescent stage, the phrase 'finding oneself' would have seemed to be completely lame. Not now. No, I still disagree with it, though - you shouldn't find your personality, it finds you. You just need to be in the right place, and it'll come to you eventually.
And I've decided that there's nothing at all bad with teen angst. Angst is a normal part of teen life - us teenagers relish it, cry over it, burst with it. And we shouldn't shun teenangst just because it's uncool to watch people whine over how their life sucks in blog entries and poems and all that shite. That's just stupid. Well, it's only uncool it the poet/blogger actually thinks that the angst poem is the coolest thing he/she's ever written. That's... really stupid.
Teenagers are angsty. They're whiny. They think life sucks. Nothing abnormal, albeit very cliche. They're pathetic they suck they hate life. And it's all totally realistic.
If you disagree, shut up.
I kind of pity my Science teacher, because I was like her in primary school and I know I was pathetic. By the way, she infodumps. A. Lot.
Besides, English class is so fucked up. It's boring. It's bland. It's not look-forwardish at all. That's not what English class is supposed to be about. It's supposed to be creative, full of culture, and interesting. It's a language with history and neither is being expressed. Everyday we're brainwashed with gray, technical grammar grammar grammar with a teacher who thinks we're primary school kids.
Would the situation be better in another school, I wonder?
But I guess I've got to slug it out here. I've set my goals super high for this year; forget about 'unattainable', whatever. An A1 for all subjects, and I don't freaking care. I might get it, might not, but at least I tried for the A1 and I can try again next year and next year and next year and next year and so on and so on. For the O Levels, it's gonna be 8 and above.
Ahaha. I was rather passionate when I wrote that and the 'fire' has gone out of me, in a way, but I'm still aiming for 8A1s and below 8 for the Os.
HA.
I've got a goal for this year:
Self discipline.
