AU REVOIR. AUF SOMETHING. GOODBYE.

I'm so sorry, failedpessimist. Je suis desolee.
This is it, then. Ca y est.
phase two of my life


Goodbye. :)
I'm trying to be as unsentimental as possible, but I guess it's best not to fight it.
Onslaught of emotions, but ah, choices.
Smile and wave, boys, smile and wave.


-failedpessimist


By the way, please don't relink me. Merci beaucoup, chacun.

Classics are the books that everyone celebrates but nobody reads.


The quotes that (I think) reinforce my tentative theory of time:


Clocks slay time... time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life.
William Faulkner


Time is life! I wonder if that's what he's trying to say.
Clocks slay time. Although clocks are pretty.


Sometimes I feel that life is passing me by, not slowly either, but with ropes of steam and spark-spattered wheels and a hoarse roar of power or terror. It's passing, yet I'm the one who's doing all the moving.
Martin Amis, Money


Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them.
Dion Boucicault


Time goes, you say? Ah no!
Alas, Time stays, we go.
Henry Austin Dobson


You must have been warned against letting the golden hours slip by; but some of them are golden only because we let them slip by.
James Matthew Barrie


If you are seeking creative ideas, go out walking. Angels whisper to a man when he goes for a walk.
Raymond Inmon


That's it, I'm going for a walk.


www.quotegarden.com

http://www.ssc.gov.sg/SportsWeb/sw_cat_details.jsp?type=9&root=31&cat=244&artID=3550


Burghley Tennis Center. :)
Where I'm currently having tennis lessons until the ACSI guys finish their exams.


And:
http://www.ssc.gov.sg/SportsWeb/sw_cat_details.jsp?type=9&root=31&parent=31&cat=180


It's kinda fun. I'm making a mental list of places I wanna go to during the hols. Badminton courts, tennis courts, gyms... maybe I'll even pick up squash. Just for fun.


ohoh before I replied to anonymous, he smsed me again.


Hmm..U sure r afraid 2 reply me isit?


Okay. So I decided to pull off the poshly-superior tone. :D


um, darling, has it ever crossed your mind that you're not really -worth- a reply? i don't honestly hold much with anonymous people, but i suppose i'll make an exception, since you're so persistent. no, i don't want 2 c u, since i'm not comfortable with secretive people in the first place, but i would consent to online chats. add me at anastazsia, hotmail - but only if you would care to, naturally. Up 2 u.. :)


He actually fell for it.
I think he's a coward.


Wad anastazsia? Is it anastazsia@hotmail.com?


And I affirm that nonchalantly.


It's fun attempting to play cool. :D
With jerks, that is.
And yesssss, I do have an anastazsia@hotmail.com. Just don't use it much.


haha, I realize I sound like I'm bragging. Okay, I admit, this anonymous has kinda piqued my curiosity, if only momentarily.



Sunday's gone already. Sort of. I can't wait till the holidays.


Tennis camp, second week of the June holidays, tentatively.


I can't wait till French class. Get my results back.
Though I betcha I'll get a B at best. :)


TAXI TAXI TAXI
DOMINIC LYDIA CLAUDIA


ag.

"I dropped my phone four times," says my sister.
ag. Primary three and she's got a camera phone!
Okay. I got my first phone when I was in primary five. I spent forty dollars playing Snake and my mum scolded me and I stopped playing Snake but occasionally I do go to Neopets and play meerca chase.


Having cup noodles now.


Since xanga's out of the way, maybe I'll consider a livejournal. I've already got one, but I'm not telling, because my posts there are incredibly stupid.


PAP won for Aljunied. :D


Imagine a fiery tempered, wilful bar hostess/bitchy goth falling for the charm of a blue eyed sunshine surfer dude and going all tame and 'awww' in his strong muscled arms.


That's exactly what makes fiction unrealistic.


Let her walk out on him. Scar his pretty arms. Cheat on him.


Now that's what she'd do. yaay


No wait, no scar. Apparently that only makes guys more attractive. well gah! The world is sexist.


I'm considering getting a tagboard.
And a new skin.
C'est ennuyeux.


"I hate green tea peppermint."
ohmygosh. My sister just said that! She just said that!


oh, and she asked me to leave messenger on when I leave for Chinese tuition, because she wants to talk to my friends. It's fun, according to her. She'd know. She's done it twice already, due to my extreme carelessness. So if "I" suddenly start talking to you in chatspeak, YOU KNOW IT'S HER.


okay. Cup noodles are not good.

You know a few posts ago, I mentioned anonymous' latest message. I didn't reply to it, and now anonymous has sent another sms:


Y? Afraid 2 reply?


gah. That guy annoys the shit outta me.
He's rather unskilled in the ways of conversation, and I'm not talking about chatspeak here. If you, dear reader, are interested- I'll give you his handphone number and you can help me flame him.


quoting his previous previous sms:
since i noe u n if u 1 2 c me,we can meet up! Up 2 u..


No, I don't want to c him, but if he wants to c me, he can always say so. (because if I'm guessing correctly and he's Stanley, he's been pretty brazen before)


Alright, you know something bothers me when I mention it in more than one paragraph when blogging.


just... let me rant. Okay. Steeeeeeeeeam.


-breathe in-


DESPO DESPO DESPO DESPO DESPO.


although that's rather hypocritical of me to say so, because I admit, if I liked a guy and he desperately wanted to see me, it'd seem rather romantic. Though if that's repeated more than once, I'll be seeing him as needy and over-protective or maybe wimpy and clingy and I'd... dump him or something.


I got the May issue of LIME. Funny, it's all gossip and interviews and reviews and stuff. It's pretty pointless, three bucks for a ten minute read. And I like it.
Just like I adore (good) chick-lit.
Chick-lit is pretty stereotyped, though.
Trashy chick-lit is what most readers have in mind.
But chick-lit is often funny, or at least poignant and romantic.


ohh anyway. Maybe it's the exhilaration at finally catching up with friends, but anyhoo.
I went to Shell with Paula.
We went to Conway and talked a lot.
Then Saranya and Amanda came, coincidentally, though we weren't really surprised at their arrival. And we talked with them.
And then Shi Hao and Sutthersan came, and they kept away for a while, and then Sutthersan approached us, and then etc etc and finally all of us hung out at the red monkey bar place.


I sang a lot. Any song my memory could catch hold of.
The ZPS song.
SNGS school song (though I could only remember the first few lines, it's in chinese so I didn't really bother memorizing it much)
Majulah Singapura!
Yue4 liang4 dai4 biao3 wo3 de xin1
Yue4 lai2 xiang1 (I could only remember these three words)
Edelweiss.
top of the world!
some familiar but dodgy melody I was humming


doremi


do, a deer, a female deer
re, a drop of golden sun
mi, a name, I call myself
fa, a long long way to runnnnnn
soh, a needle pulling thread
la, a note that follows soh
ti, a drink with jam and bread
and it brings us back to
do-oh-oh-oh
etc.


I love trying to reach high notes.


I admit, I miss having a social life in my neighbourhood.


Saranya's moving.
Nigel's moving.
Saranya?! Why oh why oh why!
Nigel? Okay, I can deal with that since I didn't know him well, but it'll be funny - driving past his house and knowing there's no Nigel inside.


Paula and I have made a pact-
we shall play badminton just about every day during the June hols, so she can become a kickass player, and after the holidays she can audition for badminton and get into the team.
she thinks ZSS sucks.
I think SNG sucks too.
ZPS and Kindergarten and Alliance Francaise are the best schools I've ever attended. :D
okay, kindergarten wasn't that good. I kept crying. I was spoilt. I was the only one in my level who hated vegetables. Sometimes as punishment they sent me to eat with the nursery section.
okay, kindergarten sucked. The guys bullied me and those younger than me shunned me.
I had this sort of reputation as the kindergarten crybaby.
hahah, Paula also had some sort of reputation. I'm not sure what exactly but during afternoon nap time, she always slept next to the wall, away from the rest of the k2s.


hm. okay. Gonna reply to anonymoussssssss

Just woke up. Past four hours or so have been spent locked up in my room, and me alternating between sleep and fuzzy moments of consciousness. Tiredtiredtired. Stupid powerpoint imma sending to Paula is taking ages to load. Switching to gmail now. HURRY UP HURRY UP.
Sorry I'm in a bad mood. Funny how things always choose to go wrong when you're in a bad mood. Stacy after she has just woken up is rarely in a good mood.


oh, now gmail isn't working.


Not Found
Error 404


STUPID THING GRAGHHHHHHH.


gsriiuau876y76uewasdszned


I give up. I'll send the powerpoint later. Happy now, gmail?


gaaaaaaah


off to Shell with Paula now.

Ceramic lessons are fun.
I like moulding stuff with my hands, though I'm not that good at moulding anyway.
I don't like coiling, though. On that spinning thing. I've got no control where endlessly spinning stuffs are concerned.


When I was in my cardboard phase, I had this thought of the soul being a frightened thing, two eyes peeking out of a cardboard box in lieu of our body.


mind soul body


oh gaah, I don't know. I feel like I'm two people. It's someone else who's the lit rep. It's someone else who gets praised and scolded. It's someone else who talks to all the people on msn while I sit pondering in a comfy black leather swivel chair.


Accompanied my mum to King's Medical just now. Walked around the empty clinic a bit while she was in the doctor's room thing. There were lots and lots of posters on birth control, erectile d-something, more so than other posters and brochures. Levitra thing. Apparently Viagra's not all that good anymore.


Anyway, they had this height measurement thing. Started from 60cm. I stood next to it and was all, oh gosh, I can't be shorter than 145cm! If I was 140cm or so, then... Okay, I tried to estimate Robyn's dad height (180) according to the way the measure was positioned, and... he'd be almost as tall as the ceiling.


Man, they placed the measure way too high up.


chariot!
chari-ot!
gavin degraw.
chariot!

I want


to play tennis every single day.
to play badminton every single day.
to play hockey every single day.
to go jogging every single day.
to do the monkey bars every single day.
to read good chick-lit.
to have a beautiful long conversation with at least one person every day.
to tour Europe. (pretty much sums it up, but it loses the pizzazz. France! Paris! Italy! Venice!)
to sing!
to dance!
that enya cd.


Might as well set my goals.


Academically:
English: High A1
Lit: High A1
Maths: Borderline A2
Chinese: Borderline B3
Biology: Borderline A1
Chem: Average A1
Physics: can't tell yet. Hopefully a borderline A2.
Geography: Borderline A1
History: High A2
MEP: B4
Art: B3


If I hit my targets, perhaps I'll persuade my mum to sign me up for creative writing classes.


Sports:
hockey-
to perfect my tackle, dribble, hit, sweep, false passes. Especially tackle and false passes.


tennis-
just... to be able to play a proper, fast-paced game. And be able to serf over the net.


NAPFA-
60 situps.
30 pullups.
A C for sitandreach, whatever that may be.
An A for standing broad jump, whatever that may be.
An A for my shuttle run, whatever that may be.
At the most, 12 minutes for the 2.4km run.


Maybe I'll considering getting a new hockey stick if I achieve all the sports-related goals.


yay.


Going to the rgs choir concert next Thursday. Supporting Pei Ying, par normalement, haha.
Man, I miss primary school. I miss primary school. I miss it so bad.


ZHONGHUA
I LOVE YOU
I NEED YOU
I WANT YOU SO BAD.


Gone people... up awkward with their things... gone.
From Gone Going by Black Eyed Peas.


Is it me, or does that line definitely have some sexual implications?


And Tom Cruise said something about Katie Holmes now being Kate Holmes because that's a proper name for a child-bearing woman who's grown up and all.


That seems pretty chauvinistic, the asshole.
But if she's okay with it, then, well, okay. Her choice. :/


but jeez. Kate Holmes?


Drove past the stadium place where WP was rallying. My mum and I. Gosh, it was amazing. The place was effing jammed up and everywhere there were people people people!


We backed out though. Too many cars. Not enough space.


Apparently my granduncle on my dad's side was the founder of the Singapore Progressive Party, years and years ago. They lost to PAP though.
Wait, was he my granduncle?
He was my grandmother's sister's husband.
So yeah. We're not related by blood, but it's kind of interesting to have such a, err, political (?) relative. Maybe he's dead now.


Yeah, must be. Otherwise I would've met him before.


Then again, you never know. I've realized that I have no idea who half of the people from my dad's side are. All those distantly related people who know my name, or only recognize me when my grandmother points out that I'm 'ah boy's eldest daughter'.


My dad's known as 'ah boy' in the family, though he's like, forty plus.


Okay.


I am... ah boy's eldest daughter. Cool.

beauty of the beast

ooh. Molten curry.
Something went wrong in the microwave.
Once I tried to turn playdough into ceramic by putting it into the microwave.
Came out burnt and stuff.


Needs to be like, one or two thousand degrees.


Clay and stuff is so fussy. Ceramic.
Just like I'm a really really fussy eater.
No vegetables. Absolutely no vegetables.
Nothing with onion in it.


And all the other pet peeves that will take too long to list.
They sell pig ears to dogs.


I went to Pet Station with Robyn and Paula today. We saw a St. Bernard. Golden retriever. Cavalier. Pomeranian. Beagle (uber cute, fyi, that one). Highland terrier, or smth like that. Husky. French bull dog. Dober... Dober what? There was a cage which was labelled 'Schnauzer' but there was no Schnauzer inside. Daaaaaaamn.


I remember Zong Han had a Schnauzer. He talked about it a lot. He said it was fat but ran fast. He said once his mum bought a live crab, put it in the plastic bag and put it on top of the microwave for the night. In the morning it was walking about in the plastic bag on the floor. He said he was forced to attend piano class because his sister did. He said his sister tattled on him a lot. He said... he said what? Oh. He said he hates being called Wilson, which is his christian name. He was liulaoshi's pet, albeit an unwilling one. He's a pretty funny guy who always passed my paper to the back, stole my hairband, played pranks on the girls.


Oh, wow. Lovely primary school memoriex. hahas.


Paula gave me a flower. Hibiscus.
We had a lovely garden, before our house got renovated. Carpet grass, a rosebush that didn't bloom much. My grandma always said that once a full rose bloomed, a tiny, pretty fairy baby would emerge from within the flower. Thus I watered them quite diligently.
We had hibuscuses too. They were really pretty. And we had the... allamanda? I'm not sure. It's the yellow flower with poisonous leaves.


Plants grow fruits to protect their seeds.


haha, I remember that! Mrs. Lee taught us that! In p5 or something. I found it immensely interesting and noted it down in my wooden notebook, which I still bring to school everyday but don't write in. It's the one in which I diligently copied all my p5 and 6 science notes, the one I memorized for PSLE, the one Robyn borrowed to copy in the car. :D


Warm air contains more moisture than cold air.


I thought otherwise, in primary school. It came as quite a surprising bit of trivia. Useful trivia which came in handy for section B of the PSLE Science paper of 04.


STEFI. SHUT UP. YOUR UNNECESSARY SCREAMS ARE GREATLY DISTURBING ME.


Stop whining. Stop stop! Stop!


Does anyone want a free younger sister?


okay, I take that back.
But that doesn't mean she doesn't annoy me.
I'm just sure that deep down, deep deep down in my little stubborn heart, I love my sister. Deep down inside.


Remember how we always used to tease each other.
oooooh Robyn loves mushroom!
Saranya loves Shi Hao!
Amanda loves Shi Hao!
Paula loves Shi Hui!
kekes lolx.


Fun while they lasted. ;)


Though the embarrassment part, not quite.
I still can't forget that time we were at the playground, and Kenneth and blueshirtguy came cycling past, Amanda shouted out, "Stacy loves Kenneth!"
C'mon, we didn't even know each other. We only cycled past each other once or twice, occasionally, etc.
F'shit. He's been avoiding me ever since.
I was so angry that day, I started flinging sand at Amanda and Saranya.
eheh, sorry.
Royal humiliation, that.


I haven't had my revenge yet.


But that was two years ago.


hm. oh well.

Imma using Robyn's computer now. Paula's reading Newpaper. Robyn's watching some fashion show thingy. We're supposed to meet Saranya and the rest at Conway... soon.


The first inkling of my social life (consisting of more than two people or so) finally emerges after months and months.


Robyn, your backspace key is so hard to presss. Tinyyyy.


Paula's behind my back now. Reading what I'm typing.
We're supposed to be studying, but my study materials are on the table behind me, abandoned and pitiful.


Oh, Saranya and Amanda just came.


SARANYA WHY ARE YOU WEARING A JACKET. IT IS SO EFFING HOT IN HERE.


Hi Amanda.


I like Robyn's computer.


Hi Saranya.


Mad aren't you, Amanda's saying to me.


Hello. I'm not the one wearing a sweater in such hot weather.


Since 3.30pm I'vebeen here.


today in class, Calista said, "Let's go to the toilet."
And Pei Hwa said, "Okay, I also wanna go."
And I said, excitedly, "Let's go let's go to the toilet wheee"


And later in class, again Calista said, "Let's go to the toilet."
I heard her say "Let's go to China."


We had a mini squabble, involving a pair of red scissors, and somehow I ended up threatening to kill myself with it.


Mary-anne was absent today. During common test period, the teacher asked, "Is that girl absent?" while pointing to Mary-anne's empty seat. She was attending her relative's funeral or smth.
And one of our classmates said, "Funeral."


And we all burst out into giggles.


Hello i am robyn and i am interrupting her blog entry. its been ages.

you know you miss me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111


Okay. Continuing.


Mr. Foo thinks my slipper was cute.


I mean, we made tiny ceramic slippers, for art class.


Mr Foo said, "Haiyah, polling day tomorrow. Who d'you think I should vote for? PAP, WP, SDP?"


He revealed that he refuses to, at home, use the internet. He doesn't use modern stuff like iPods etc., he doesn't have a television, and I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't have a handphone. He says these will interrupt his work. He's an artist and art researcher. Eccentric guy who once snapped at our vice-principal. oh and that time, our class pissed him off. He shouted at us to "Get out", and after that he wrote on the whiteboard in the art room, "Irritated by 2Faith today".


but he's a nice guy. Open-minded and appreciative.


Now that's the kinda teacher I like. :D


oh, and someone scrawled on the teacher's table a love declaration to Mr. J. Cher.
Gotta love that hairy chest.
I heard Natalie scream that. :/
excusez moi s'il vous plait.


Robyn's gonna show me who Samsee is.


And she's sec4 so she's retired.


It hurts to laugh, oh my stomachhhhhh.


My mum might take me to a rally later. To 'see what it's like'.


I'd like that. :)

6.27pm. Maths test in slightly more than an hour's time.
I'm afraid I'll blank out like I did during the previous test and not know how to do anything and fail.


Tirrrrrrred.

Anonymous smsed me again.
WAIT. There. Are. Two anonymous people smsing me. Their numbers are different, wtf. Or maybe it's the same person using different phones.


Hi sori few days didnt reply. Was busy. Anw since i noe u n if u 1 2 c me,we can meet up! Up 2 u..


One word:
Despo.


Maybe it's Stanley. Gragh.

I didn't really expect my mum's laptop to hold so much, but I found all the pictures she took this year. Mostly those of the funeral, but anyway. I'd fun looking through all of them.
































Kenn Ji, my sister, Gimm.

Went cycling for the first time in ages. Did a few rounds on the monkey bar. Didn't hang upside down though. I forgot. And it would've been rather uncomfortable if I did, what with the quarrelling couple in the pavillion nearby. Couple. I'm merely speculating here.


Pedalling the slope to Conway. A girl shouting. I thought it was a guy. I thought it was two friends quarrelling.


Cycling round the park. The girl is howling, screaming, the whole park can hear her. The guy, spectacled, calm, trying to reason. The girl is rather plump, and I caught a few snatches of ni3 bu yao4 wo3 le. You don't want me anymore.


She keeps screaming, keeps screaming. And then she runs, out of the pavillion, onto the road. She's standing there, one lone figure, at the white line that divides forward from backward. I'm standing where the monkey bar is, can't help looking at her for a moment, then avert my eyes and do my first round of the bars. She's crying all the while.


When I do an about turn on the bars, there's a car, nearly knocks her down. Then she's kneeling at the side of the road, squatting maybe, and I do another about-turn. I get off the bars. She's now in the pavillion again, crying.


Then I can't stand it anymore and I leave the park after doing two more rounds of the monkey bar.


The guy'd been strict and calm all the while. When she ran onto the road he was all, "You want to make this ugly? You want to make this ugly?"


When I left he was wiping away her tears.


So, okay.


Isn't it funny, Robyn, how we've witnessed more than one break-up at that park. There was once, at the 'upper deck', there was a guy and a girl at the most secluded chess table. It mightna have been a breakup, I dunno, but the girl was crying as she left.


And then the other time, at the pavillion, a guy and a girl. The guy walked away. The girl too, but she after a few steps she collapsed onto the lamppost and knelt down and cried and cried.


But also, sweet teenage love. A couple, dressed in their school uniforms, snogging the lights out of each other.


Parks are so unpredictable.

What comes easily is not treasured.
oh, oh yeah.


This morning someone in class was going, "Where's my pen? Did anyone see my pen?"
I couldn't help but remember that 'pencil' was derived from the latin something 'little penis'.


Pen. Cil.
Okay. So just plain 'pen' would mean, uhh...


Where's my pen? Did anyone see my pen?


God. Shut up.


Assembly was pretty hilarious, at least the part where the actresses got off stage to interview some teachers. Mr. Wong was it.


What's your name?
And he says, in a dazed 'what?' kinda way, Mr. Wong.
Okay, Mr. Wong, how do you feel about teaching in a girls' school?
In the same manner as before, he says, "Good".
Okay. So what do you think Sandy here should wear for her hot date with Justin?
He pauses to think, leans into the microphone and says, "white blouse white skirt".


Gosh. It seems so deadpan here but it was absolutely hilarious back there.


And I think my situps from yesterday's NAPFA are finally catching up with me. My stomach hurts, rather.


No tennis today. Cancelled.


I feel silent and tired, and... I wanna practise Allegro. So many mistakes, yet again, exam in three -two- months and god oh god I'm so unprepared.


Maths common test tomorrow. I've never been this scared.
And I think that my way of dealing with problems is ignoring them. My fear is hidhidhidden in some deep dark crevice of my mind and will emerge tomorrow, triumphant and screaming. I suppose I'd better mug later.


Who coined the term 'mug'? I'm practically addicted to it.

I'm listening to the Phantom of the Opera themesong. la la la la LAAAAAAAA
la la la la LAAAAAA
Lovely, that one.


"You remember what you want to remember." Quoted by someone I've forgotten.
That's tres vrai.
For some part. E.g. Mary-anne's got this really easy to remember handphone number, but I don't really bother to memorize/remember it, so I can't.


The Phaaaaaaaantom of the opera is here
Inside my mind


Sing once again with me
Our strange duet
My power over you
Grows stronger yet
And though you turn from me
To glance behind
The Phaaaaaaaaaantom of the opera is there
Inside your mind


no particular reason. :D
I just adore the tune.
looky this: http://www.darklyrics.com/n/nightwish.html



Sanest choice in the insane world...
Beware the beast but enjoy the feast he offers


(Beauty of the Beast)


Schweet.


Today was a total fluke.
Academics:
Said Mrs. Lee, never start a sentence with 'and'.
F'shit. Why not? Find me a contemporary work where the writer never starts a sentence with 'and'.
Rules are to be manipulated. Shredded and torn until only a small resemblance is left.
But of course, teachers are always right.


NAPFA. Pull-ups are my saving grace.
And sit-ups, some might say.
I don't know what came over me. I did my sit-ups so... rushedly. The teacher-ic thought I wasn't going down enough.
Li-Lin laoshi. Oh, blah. I had to redo them thrice. The last time slowly, slowly, so I could prove to Li-Lin laoshi that I was doing my sit-ups correctly.
And thus I did more than ten sit-ups less than last year. Which is still an A, but I'm feelin' sad. Gah oh man, sit-ups are supposed to be my best item.
Shuttle run! I'm a slow old lady.
Standing broad jump! From a 1.78m during PE time to a lowly 1.54m.
Sit and reach. 36cm. I can't remember. Thirty-something.


Think it's silver.


G'bye, consecutivethreeyearsgoldaward. So long. Farewell. Auf somethi-ing good by-e.


I should cheer up. It's just a stupid- a stupid... a stupid test which means a lot to me.
Okay. Think I'll go and mope around for a bit.


oh, and hockey sucked. Quatre mots:
I suck. We suck.
Coach sweeping a gaze over the sectwos, saying, "I'm very disappointed with you all."


STACY. YOU GO GIRL.
GO GO GO YOU CAN DO IT.

Wow. Did you(?) read today's papers? People aiming to join the government sniping at each other in public. No, that's degrading but not wrong. Everyone has emotions. Never apologize for showing them. I just thought, that's a cat fight, between two guys. :D


HAH I CAUGHT THEM I CAUGHT THEM.


Spray each other with verbal venom. That's cute.


And I'm thinking...
gosh.
I just wondered. Do I seem like an insensitive, cruel poser? Who, you know, disses her classmates and stuff. I wouldn't do that. The only people I'll diss (and even then, subtly) are people who annoy me. Like tickling me incessantly. Being petty. Being spoilt. Following me around during recess! People who only turn to me when their buddies don't wanna hang out with them. Overbearing people. The arrogant. The snobbish. The whiny.


oh, especially the whiny. I still remember that time.


Should I go? They didn't tell me about the meeting and they still want me to attend it but I can't make it! They should have told me earlier right! But if I don't go then they'll scold me!



and I reply, patiently: Then don't go. It's their fault they didn't tell you. Case closed.


I dunno leh. They'll accuse me of not doing work and stuff. But my mum will scold me if I go!


me: Why would your mum scold you?


I dunno. Should I go? Should I go?


And I shrug and ignore her. And PE lesson starts.


During PE: So should I gooooooooooooo?


After PE: Eh Stacy I eat recess with you?


I'm so fed up, I pretend not to hear her. Shut up, I never said I was mother Teresa.


But she catches up with me anyway. "So should I gooooooooo?"


Later I abandon her while she's eating, so she can't follow me. I wave cheerfully, smile, and say energetically, "Bye!"


And I escape to the library. My sanctuary.


But she'll be okay. She'll find someone else to pester.


Edit: I just realized I'm being whiny about others being whiny. So that kinda makes me a hypocrite.


I want to hit something. But nevermind. Self-contradiction is healthy. Arguments with oneself. The first signs of madness. Arguments are mind-stimulating- wait, that sounded wrong. Tant pis tant pis tant pis. SELF CONTRADICTION IS HEALTHY. SELF CONTRADICTION IS HEALTHY.


I think I'll just continue with my post.


I just realized that deja vu, translated literally from French, means 'already seen'. Which corresponds effectively with its actual meaning. Gosh, I only realized that today, on the way back from school. Connecting languages is so fun.


My mum says that if I take lit, I'll have to work really hard for it. So I stand at least a slight chance of getting a scholarship to Oxford. I mean, I'll have to work hard for other subjects, but yeah.


And she also wants me to take triple science. Like take triple science in school, and lit outside, as an additional subject. Because SNG, this accursed school, doesn't allow more than 10 curriculum subjects.


btw
http://www.xanga.com/forchancedtrains


I've decided that it won't be my blog. Just my blog for spares of prose/poetry/philosophies etc.


And I'm considering setting up a Stacy's Collection of Heart-Bleeding Poetry and Prose.


your words r a knife cuttin in2 mah heart ;_;
i shouldve known u just wanted me 4 a quick fuck
n now da real knife is slittin mah wrist
goodbye, motha fucka, i'm givin u one last kiss

Lire-ca!
http://home.pacific.net.hk/~rebylee/text/prince/1.html


I have to do a book review on that. By tomorrow. And I lost the book.
So, being the smart, composed girl that I am, I did not fret and turned to the internet where I was sure such a classic could be found.
And I was right!
now you see why I never want to grow up, why I'm hopelessly in love with Neverland and flying and fairies and Peter Pan.


Piano in a couple minutes time.
Today was pretty horrible, but pretty, all the same. I failed Maths and history! Too-wheet.
I'll aim for triple science, but even if I do qualify, I shan't take it. I'll have to give up lit if I do. (Or quit MEP, yay, but that's impossible)


I'm not depressed. Kinda gotten used to failing stuff.
GODDDDDDDDDDD.


It was scarely any larger than a house!


I love intepreting stuff. Metaphors and all. Only it's a bit harder with poems.
Imagine and learn


with Playhouse Disney!


gosh, I love that channel. I like the classic Winnie the Pooh. What's a Pooh? I don't know. WINNIE WINNIE. And his hunny.


Her?


oh, pooh bear, you are droll.


Christopher Robin! Christopher Ro-bin! Yoo-hoo!


Just trying to imitate the characters. Childrens classics rock.
I'm not even going to pretend that I like those 19th century classics. To hell with Ivanhoe, works of Thomas Hardy, Wuthering Heights, etc. Although they do come in handy when trying to impress adults. Not that I try much; I have a reputation for reading a lot in my family. They see a new book in my hand, assume I'm actually gonna read it, and go, "Oh! Ivanhoe! That's a good book. Wah, so yong4 gong1 ah."


And I blush and say, "No lah, just started only."


Something like that.


Adults are so gullible.


Or boring. See The Little Prince.

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
WTF

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
i haven't done it yet!

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
i mena

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
mean*&

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
the book review

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
DO I LOOK LIKE I'VE DONE IT?

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
-wait, you can't see me now-

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
but anyway yeah

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
>.< the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
gosh

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
must be from the list, right?

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
why is it that every sentence seems to have sexual implications

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
to me

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
err

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
haha

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
yeah

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
yeah

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
yup

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
HAHAHAHA

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
NO STACY I HAVE NOT DONE 'IT'

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
:D


-



mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
It won't hurt, I promise.

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
HAHAHA

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
I HATE ENGLISH ENRICHMENT

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
i KNOW I KNOW

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
i died laughing when i saw that

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
that was sick

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
i thought you liked?

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
hahaha

the blahzed things are my theriac. / lufuopsis ab initio says:
nooooo

mary-anne define me, if you dare / twelve nineteen oh one nine says:
haha


-


Bewarrre.
Stacy is on an edge. Stacy is scary. Stacy is mean. Stacy is sick.
That sounded wrong.
wheee

Your cold eyes cut into my soul,
full of concealed hurt and pain.
I'll remember that look forever,
etched into my memory,
burning into my heart
stretching forth into my abyss of misery.

Your hurt causes my hurt,
and now you're gone,
and I'm crying out but no one's hearing me,
and the crystalline tears fall to the ground and freeze in time,
a symbol of our doomed love...


egads. HAHAH. XD

RAAAAAAAAAAIN.


It just started raining! Like, drone, mmmm, drooooooone... BOOM.
So clear and precise and exact and even it falls.


Wait, I can't believe it, the rain's stopped.


Like five seconds.


oh, it's starting again. Low to high now. I'm reminded of my tennis coach. Low to high, Stacy, not high to low! I feel like every muscle in my body's slackening. I'm afraid to pick up the book I have upstairs. I'm scared of the decision Ladybug's gonna make. That type of book where I actually try to feel what it's like to be in her shoes. Though I'm not truly in them yet.


I've had a particular obsession with candles lately. Leeelo.
I went to Marina Square with my 'rents just now. Came across a pretty quirky store. I wanted to get a tie. Cloth ones that you wear just for fun. But my mum, with all her practicality, convinced me otherwise. Apparently it wouldn't match any of the clothes I usually wear. And I couldn't wear it anywhere, anyway.


When on earth was the last time I bought something for fun? :/
wait, just today! GUESS WHAT I BOUGHT FROM THE DIY PLACE IN MARINA SQUARE.
Candles. Lovely, lovely candles.


I shall cab right back there and get that lovely tie.
I think.


oh gawwwwwwd.


I feel ill. Stomach churning. But in reality I'm okay, I'm totally fine, I just feel like shit. Well, not really. I feel okay. I just don't want to break the clockwork.


Last Words - Thousand Foot Krutch
Blood Brothers - Iron Maiden


My parents and my sister are watching baby videos.
I don't remember feeling like how I think I would be feeling at that time.
I can't recall myself in the airport, chewing gummy bears out of a packet.
I still remember curling myself into my doll. We fit perfectly. Our bodies were the same size. And now I'm so much taller and my doll seems much smaller, it's hard to think I was ever that small.


And I'm so much taller than previously but I still think I'm short.
gosh. We say so many things we don't mean.


Magazines fail to amaze, fyi.
"He took my virginity and made me a drug addict."
Pity, pity, oh yeah.


Ministry of Healths all over the world are concerned with bird flu and stuff. Actually, each day most people die of starvation. Sending food over to Africa and stuff would be a lot easier as compared to coming up with vaccines and stuff in the lab. Just put your stuff aside and help a bit. It won't hurt, I promise.


haha that sounded wrong.
WE'RE BLOOD BROTHERS
WE'RE BLOOD BROTHERS
WE'RE BLOOD BROTHERS
WE'RE BLOOD BROTHERS


even a litany like this fails to reach the hearts of the mainstream. Oh well.
There's really no reason why we should care.
We could leave all the starving people to starve.
Our lives wouldn't suck any less yeah. =D
wheee the rest can go ahead.


Imma helpin' the poor in Myanmar and the dolphins and the sharks when I graduate!


yay for the world we live in.

Know what?
What?
I woke up at 8 today. After sleeping at 1am.
Liar.
I'm not lying. Why on earth would I be blogging at this time, then?
Fine, you're telling the truth.
You're such a horrible conscience.
Why?
What conscience doubts its bearer?
I didn't doubt you.
Yeah, and what did you just do?
Fine. Okay.


Some conversation I fabricated in my mind on the way to the bathroom.
It's true. I woke up at 8. Amazingly.
I'm the first one awake. For the first time in months.
The morning is beautiful and I shall not waste it. Hm. Cycling to the park, monkey bars, maybe I'll swing down at Hock's. I'm hungry, though. My stomach is positively burning.


I think my hair looks nicer after I just awake, as compared to after I washcombdry it and stuff.
Imma forest girl. :D
But seriously. It actually looks alive (though hair is, technically, dead except for the tiny bit nearest to the scalp). Breathing. wait, breathing hair would be freaky.
But it's better than being flat and tied up into a ruthless ponytail, the hairstyle which I've maintained for... forever.
I MIGHT CUT IT SHORT.
HENNA IT.
yeah.
I haven't combed it since I got up, anyway.
and fyi, yes, I did mean what I said in my previous post. I washed my hair last night/morning at about midnight. So under no grounds can you say that I'm a filthy girl for not washing my hair in the morning.


Look at the amount of text I've dedicated to my hair. :)


I like ships. Not those modern cruisers. The old fishing types. The one that took Katherine Tyler from Barbados to Wethersfield. The one where Katherine Tyler met Nathaniel Eaton.


{THE WITCH OF BLACKBIRD POND}


That rocked.


I'm a sucker for historical romances, but only those authentic both in setting and characters. The latest one I read (No shame, no fear) was horrible. Romance driven. Cheesy closure. Will and- shiti'veforgottenhername clinging on to each other for every single second!


Sappily syrupy. Shudder.


Don't cry. We won't be parted, I promise.


I liked that line though. Only because I like the word 'parted'. There's a nice ring to it.
Don't read that book.


ohoh see!
Yoceeda's msn nickname:
IMPORTANT! ~ The anime gang of class 2 faith is starting a blog. It's still not ready though...


Yay. Everyone loves the anime gang.
Though I dislike manga. Personally.
shhhhhhhhhhhhh

HEY STACY YOU CAN DO IT.
I know you can.
It's just me who can't.


ohh and the knight came sailin' on a pretty ship
by the name of her ladyship the queen!
Elizabeth the first was her bonny name
and never a suitor had she.


My history book thing, or rather, a biography of Elizabeth I, is resting on the box beside my bed where my tennis racket usually rests. I stopped reading some months back. Too tedious. Too much informationnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. Sorrry, I feel drowsy. It's just that every few sentences, I get this urge to jot down everything I've read, and it gets tiring in the end. Like I can't just read for enjoyment. I have to be thorough and stuff and make meticulous notes.


So I give up.


But I think I'll start reading it again. Soon. I don't know when.


Returned from Robyn's house. The white rabbit is adorable. I miss Winter and Pampers.
Pampers and The White Rabbit share my birthday. I can't believe I forgot that.


We didn't go to Conway, actually. Just sat around, did homework, studied (a little), sang snatches of songs, had instant noodles. I laughed a lot. Almost spit out my soup, par normalement.


I'm getting kind of disheartened here.
friendfriendfriend where are you.
I think I'll be better after a bath. As always. And I shall wash my hair though it is ten minutes past midnight.


oh yeah, happy May, everyone who -cough- bothers to read.
And you get a virtual cookie if you comment.


on the otherhand, lufuopsis ab initio.
Refer to Ruby Enz for clarification. Ruby/(you know who you are), if you're reading this, don't tell! XP

I'm using my dad's laptop. More accurately, his iBook or something which calls internet explorer Safari and other cool stuffs like that. Gosh. J'adore la keyboard. It's a bit hard to get used to it, though. No music files at all. No msn messenger. I'll be heading for Robyn's house in ten minutes, anyway.


I realize I've forgotten to blog about my MEP exam. Technically I don't need to, but we do a lot of things we don't need to do. ;)
I remember, when I still madly in love with Draco Malfoy (or at least the smirking arrogant Draco Malfoy as portrayed in fanfics, with whom Robyn was my fellow worshipper) I had this Draco Malfoy blogskin. And I made this post about guys and how they thought details were inane, and if a girl went "I completed my Maths homework!", they'd go all "yar lah, so what", or something along that line.


It's not false, you know. :/
I think that's kind of why it's mostly girls who have blogs. I've asked around a bit. Most guys say stuff like 'so wu liao lah' or 'my life's boring'. Bored people have no inner resources. hah.


But anyway, my MEP exam. Last Monday. Mrs. Tham.
I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE THE MORE LENIENT MR. CHER AS MY EXAMINER.
But due to 'time constraints', I got Mrs. Tham. Well, she's not that bad, even if she's strict.
So I entered the room. I sat down.
What's your name? Stacy. Shuffle of papers. Okay, /Stacy/, you can start now.
She put emphasis on my name, as if inwardly crowing, "See! I know your name! STACY. Your name's STACY. Oh wow, I'm so proud of myself."


Hm.


I messed up big time. Everything used to be perfect, my semiquaver runs, the light acciacaturas. But it was cold. My fingers stiffened. So did my nervousness. I stumbled on my hard-practised notes, inwardly cursing shitshitshitshit all the way. Especially during the semiquaver runs. Now Mrs. Tham thinks I need to go for this Hanon thing that prevents technical mistakes like that.



Second piece. Well, dang, I forgot the emotion and accented some notes too much. I interpreted it as an emotional piece in the sense that it was both sorrowful and angry. Y'know, upset and all.
But according to both Mrs. Tham and my piano teacher (I almost typed 'sorrowful teacher' here, ha), it's supposed to be touchingly sad.


Down with excessively sentimental pieces. DIE DIE DIE.


Off to Robyn's house now. Must remember to bring the candles.
yeah.

I was rudely awakened, today, by my sister.
"Stacy! Kennji come already!"
Kenn Ji's my cousin. He's supposed to tutor me in Maths. Sunday, 9am. Crazy hour. :/
And I'd only just awoken.


Forced me to get ready in... five minutes. Fastest I've ever spent getting ready in the morning.


anyway, I think I'm actually going to understand algebraic equations.


I had an odd vision today.


That's what my mother would say when I was your age.


and now I wonder
if I could fall into the sky
d'you think time
would pass me by


-


HOLD IT.


and everything zips into a final halt. Backlashing into the wind.


Okay.


the wind
the world


I prefer the latter.
Though I love the former.
Sounds better, though, latter.


I haven't received a letter for so long.
Not in this age of technology.


heh, I feel pointless.
but is that a good thing?
pointlessness is neutral.
so there.


I SHALL GO CYCLING.

Oh, by the way, I just did a good deed.
My dog was barking in the backyard. I switched on the lights, about to let him out of his pen, when I saw what was making him bark.


A cockroach. A real big one, on its back, struggling to right itself.


I got kind of jittery. No, I am not scared of cockroachs (that is, when they're not crawling on me, like that time a couple of years back...) I just. Okay.


Anyway. I prodded it with some cardboard thing till it was the right way up, and it scampered off. And then I scampered off. I'm not the squealygirly type but things with long stringy legs, slimy looking wings, insects that can fly -gulp- and crawl on your arm are not to be trusted.


But yay, I saved its life. So far lots of the cockroach poison thing that's been put out in the backyard without my knowledge has killed at least six of the roaches.

and who said that, did you? (with your elusive manner) HELLO commenters. :)

So here I am, green tea by my side, just having eaten chocolate ice cream (which isn't all it's made out to be - next time I'm going with the mint) feeling guilty because I'm having evil thoughts, not studying for my Chinese tuition exam, my tshirt smeared with chocolate icecream.


Hello, it was literally dripping.


Besides. Chocolate ice cream in your mouth ruins the taste of green tea afterwards.


Enya's 'Only Time' is playing.


If you ask me, then yes, I am still feeling depressed.


You know. I used to (and still do) feel sort of put off by people who blog, like:

hahas. Today I went to j8 with blah and blah and blah! haha it was so fun. I bought earrings, three dollars only, so cheap! and then blah bought this really cute keychain doll, so kawaii lah! hahas. then we went to watch yaddayadda. the part where brad pitt did etc. was so OHMYGOSH lah. cabbed home. so fun!


All those inane stuff, absolutely boring.
But then I realize that when I grow up, the stuff I'll want to look back on will include the now-pronounced inane things. Because everything matters. As long as it's not recounted in the Bimbo Manner.


and here I am, left with brevity and brief recaps of my day, focusing more on WHERE MY THOUGHTS FLY. okay. okay. Yeah.


I feel very very very weird.


Can someone brief me on the whole PAP/WP/somethingP elections thing?
And the Thaksin issue, although that's not quite so recent anymore.
I hate being uninformed.
Or left out of stuff.
And it's too late to make sense of the newspaper now.


It's In The Rain
the chorus is nice, but the rest isn't that great.


okay, now it's Frankie J's
Obsession.
I like that song. And More Than Words.
But the phrase 'I love you' is extremely hard to utter. I mean, when I actually mean it, that is.
not that I've actually meant it, ever, as of yet.


mm, I'm thinking about my grandmother, for some reason.
I don't want to see my mum like that. Wrinkled, shrivelled, in pain - like my gran was on the hospital bed. My mum's young. Lots of vitality.
It's hard to imagine anyone dying.
wait, it's not that hard afterall. Sooner or later we all become empty shells, you know, dried up and stuff. And if we have souls, they go somewhere. Or die with us. Not that we should be too concerned about it.
When we exist, death does not. When death does, we don't.


Yay.


and off I go in some bout of thanatopsis.


ohmygosh I just discovered this great site.
http://dictionary.blogspot.com


I. Will. Not. Hesitate!


yay, go Stacy.

The national library can be depressing when I'm there all by myself, a whole pile of books to lug around, with a phone that may or may not vibrate due to my dad's calls. The candle's burning now. Yesterday we had a blackout. I had to miss ten minutes of the last episode of The Undisclosed.


d'you think time
would pass us by


Something's wrong here, hey.


Somehow I'm telling myself that literature isn't my greatest passion anymore.
Maybe along the way, some great gust of wind came along and swept it away.
A winked-out candle which wouldn't last long anyway, but burned bright while it did.


I'm sick of Blogger and I don't love xanga anymore.
And I'm just holding out here aye.


The next time, if I still have a chance, I won't hesitate.


Pardonne-moi, for the lackadaisical depressing posts lately. I haven't really been myself these days, at least I don't think so. I'd always love to hear about how others perceive me, though.


Let the words start rolling!

I discovered Xanga. I love it.
Think I'll switch to it sooner or later.
I'm feeling oh-so-nostalgic now.
Time to start packing my suitcase, eh?


I love you, failedpessimist.


Happy times from two years ago. :)


But I love Blogger too.
Blogger. Blogger. Xanga.
http://www.xanga.com/forchancedtrains
don't relink me yet. Hold it. Just stop.
http://judymaule.blogspot.com


oh, oh man.

give a damn

I shall be leaving for school in fifteen minutes.


Why is it Je ne sais rien, instead of Je ne sais pas/Je sais rien?
French grammar confuses me sometimes. :/


I don't know nothin'.


I know nothin'.


They claim it's the same thing.


but doesn't I don't know nothin = I know something?


Okay. Of all things to do ten minutes before I leave for the hellhole, I've to be nitpicky about slang.


failedpessimist is like this really old stained piece of rag.
Precious rag. :3


I'm considering printing out all my blog posts, from 2004-2006.
So I've got something to look back on when I grow older.
I don't want all these to go to waste.
and my past follows me around, par normalement.


Vanessa Carlton rocks.
crashed on the floor when I moved in


So does Enya.
Jason Mraz.
Black Eyed Peas.



when she dances she goes and goes


{GREAT PEOPLE}


Je ne veux pas aller.
Sports Day. Sheesh.
Go blue, though.
My house tshirt is wide. Baggy sleeves. I look like some blue cream puff thing.
I like cream puffs, though. The way they just melt in your mouth.


in
white
houses


You see yourself in the mirror
And you feel safe coz it looks familiar
But you afraid to open up your soul
Coz you don't really know, don't really know
Who is the person that's deep within

ooh whee.
I've decided that if I ever decide to relink, it shan't be this week.


And hey, it's 9.13 in the morning. I think I'll bathe. And then go cycling. Or for a walk.


It can be frustrating, being the only girl out of three boys+coach for tennis lessons.
That time coach hollered, "Everyone run one round. Last one to reach runs three extra!"


And I was all, shit, I'm not gonna make it.


The guys cut corners so I followed suit. They jostled, a lot. And dang they seemed to block my path wherever I ran.


So yeah I was the last to reach. But coach pitied me so I only had to run two extra.
It's okay, actually. The tennis court is really small. Three extra rounds is like, about 100-200m.
but I don't think it'll be the last time that I come in last for sprinting.


We played doubles. Coach paired up with me, against Kenneth and Andrew.
It'll be hard to explain how the game works so I shan't.
oh, because I merely suspect that one of the guys deliberately gave me easy shots so I could receive them, b'cos I'm just a beginner. Or a female beginner. >.<



If I guessed correctly, then gah. Chauvinism in the form of sympathy. I guess I should appreciate that. Or maybe I'm just looking too deep into it. :/

all my sistas yeah

Well, shit. Sports Day tomorrow. Maybe it'll be boring, maybe it'll be fun.


Sometimes I feel weird sms-ing people. My message, the one I'm typing painstakingly, ending up in someone else's inbox. The wonders of technology. :O


Someone I don't know just smsed me. Hi stacy! hehe
I asked for his/her name. The (by default) hermaphrodite didn't answer my question, just said something absolutely inane, in major l33t. And smth like 'how r u'.
Psycho.


Imma deleting stuff from my inbox now. Over 100 stuffs from last December.
Just deleted everything in my outbox. I feel liberated. And sentimental.
Dang right.


WAIT. The hermaphrodite smsed me again.
Cant tell u! Hmm.. so u r in chij st nick gals sch rite?


Anonymous people who sms me, beware. muahaha.


People have loved me and people have hated me and people have been angry at me and people have -choke- flirted with me. Those anonymouses, of course.


Anonymous. Es.
Anonymouses.
Mouses.
Mice.
Cowards.


I'm pretty much stuck. Stacie Orrico still rocks yeah.
It's t-rue.


judymaule.blogspot.com


!&^%$&@*&&%


23 48 now.
12 more minutes.
Final cadence.


Shall it be perfect?


Imperfect, I s'pose. I'm still awaiting the reply of the hermaphrodite.
Probably a guy.

http://judymaule.blogspot.com/


I might be relinking. But even if I do, thou shalt not relink me.


I feel some odd sense of closure. Not as in the type where gosh, I shall drown in my self pity, pining for my loved one every single night, feeling his kiss on m- pfft. (this brings to mind memories of that Amanda Quick romance novel, where Lavinia and Tobias had a couple of sex scenes in the story which were put there just for the purpose of having smut in the story)


S-hudder.


It's like hey, things seem different, everyone's changing.


Nick's got a new blog url. So has Robyn. So has Greg.
And then things are kinna feeling different. It's like something in the air yeah.
I'm getting caught up in this weird weird whirlwind. Some need for renewal and fresh beginnings and stuff.


Like if I don't follow the winds this time I'll be left behind for a long, long time.


Everywhere stuff's changing. Strange stuffs.


I've hit an all time low and this is where I start deciding, hein.
Sheesh, I don't even know if this shall be my farewell post.


I knew I felt different somehow.


SOMEHOW SOMEWHAT POSSIBLY.


and as usual, I'm undecided.


Well like I said.
Closure.
Fini.


Peut-etre.

This computer is superlaggy.
It annoys me to no end.
but anyway.


Apart from green tea, I'm glad today's over.
I gave up halfway, during today's maths class test. It was, omg I can't do so many of these questions, oh nevermind, I'll just try. Oh my god, I can't do this. Let's go on to the next question. Shit I can't do that either, and jeez the next question is horrible. Heck. I can't do a single question. I'm so effing useless, see.


and right there and then I slump down onto the table and refuse to even look at the paper anymore.


No, not exactly.


I tried, I tried, I tried. I lunged into some pit of self-pity. What's y square blah blah? oh gosh I seriously need tuition. I should've asked my cousin to tutor me last saturday, dang, I give up, I give up.


so yeah. I'd very much like to say that I'm not a maths naturale and maths isn't meant for me, and while that's partly true it's not wholly so. I think I'm pretty good at some topics, if not kickass.


but yeah, my grades are slipping. Declining.
I hate maths, I nearly failed Chinese (62/100), I'm flunking science, my hockey skills are gone, I can't serf over the net in tennis, my geog grades depend solely on memory, history's boring, mep sucks, I can't do melodic dictation, I don't have a natural ear for music, and every year my NAPFA standard goes down.


To hell with school.


but I'm acting like a whiny little brat yeah.
So I need to pay more attention during tuition. I need to try harder during training sessions. I need to listen to more types of music. I need to jog more to better my 2.4 timing.


solutions found.
case closed.
or not.


oh, and I can't write anymore.
or maybe it's just a really really bad 5 month long writer's block.


Everyone, I command you to pity me!


and off I go to wallow in my own tears amidst weepy Latin music.


-


Tennis today. Now there're 3 ACSI guys training.
Yet again, I'm the only girl.
Me in my pinafore, looking out of place beside three shirtshorts clad guys.
wait, didn't I use to be in a co-ed school? So I should be used to that?
maybe I'm getting used to being in an all girls' school.
Heck no, I... hope not.


I've always been some what like a tomboy. Though a tomboy that -cough- people perceive as gentle and demure. At least I don't scream at the sight of cockroaches or rats etc.
And my grades are't all that good anyway.
So how on earth did I end up in st.nicholas, which is supposed to be a good school, on top of being all girls?


Sometimes I bore myself. Okay.
I have a feeling that after I get myself out of this perpetual slump, which is almost like minor depression, I won't be quite like myself ever again.


Vanessa wants me to read her manga comic thingesque. I have it in my bag right now.
Never really liked manga stuffs, except the occasional Sailor Moon show when I was younger. I loved collecting Sailor Moon cards then, but only because I found her pretty. :3
Then.
oh and for a while I read this celestial thing.
Apart from that I haven't really read any manga comics. I don't like them but since Van's lent hers to me anyway, I'll give it a try.
and then I'll turn back to the crappy romance between Lavinia something and Tobias March.


J.K. Rowling, hurry up already.

It was summer in the early year, as always, and the sun was stiff in its cloud, undoubtedly oblivious. Then the larks came in hordes, bridging the gap between mortality and celestial stars, and they sang. The clouds jostled into the cracks, the forgotten crannies, and they grew, and the larks left, and the sun was a pawn in their hands, and it rained.


-


They were there. Pendulums swinging their heavy curved paths, going somewhere, reaching somewhere, never knowing which was which until- stop. Some breath of life there, oh, there was? The pendulum either paused, or reached, didn't know. Passed through the gaps to discover, returned came returned came, and the pendulum started swinging.


it's swingin' it's swingin' it's swingin'.
and oh can't it stop again.


And she was blatant, the abused metaphors, crude oil to make a fine dish. Hey it almost worked. Her mood, horribly versatile, either this, either that. Compromise enter, oh but it just smoothed over the wrinkles and the creases, but they're still there.


oh, wow.


-


-hugs-
hey Greg, hey Mary-Anne.

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh... you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

his lyrics are the best, Daniel Powter.
A little abstract yeah, it's almost like poetry. They say there isn't any definite meaning to an abstract poem because it all depends on your intepretation of it.
Well I had a bad day. I feel bad and I feel guilty because while I'm slamming my maths homework on the table and grinding my fists into the table and feelin' like crying (yeah just because I can't understand algebraic expansion, how lame's that), there're kids out there who'd kill to go to school. And then I'm disgusted at the limp piece of fried egg on my plate, and I still feel guilty, cos there're people in the world who've never tasted an egg, don't know what an egg's like, and are starving right now.


I try to convince myself otherwise sometimes.
You know- just because there're other people out there who covet and envy what we have, doesn't mean we shouldn't be allowed to show emotion. Like just because there're kids out there who'd kill to go to school, doesn't mean we shouldn't be allowed to feel angry at our workload. Different lives, different perspectives and all - the whole one thought won't cater to the whole world thing.


and yeah, there's a point to that, but I still feel guilty.


Wonder what it's like to be in a slum yeah? Or how it's like to live in poverty. No food, no water, and heck - no proper shitting place. No bed. No computer. No books. Like it's a war-zone, minus the nuclear.


I'm horribly pampered.
Like I've never taken the MRT alone before.
I get very possessive sometimes.
I get very jealous sometimes.
I throw temper tantrums sometimes and yet get irritated when others have tantrums.
Sheesh, I'm a horrible person. For some part.
I'm not gonna degrade myself and say that I don't have a nice side.


Hell's bells.


No offence, Liu Yi.
Amanda Quick isn't the best writer where plots are concerned.
not that I can do better, but it's easy to tell bad from good.
Her characters aren't very...
Nevermind. I shall finish reading first.


Well I had a bad day.
I need a hug.

I've been a happy girl today.
Or a seemingly happy girl. :/
man, I don't know when to smile and when to frown. Aliens have taken control of my face. Or something like it. blah blah, blah.
I haven't put my hair in braids for ages, heehaw.
Not that I want to.


I'm gonna write part II of my will.
Later, or tomorrow.
but shit, I need to study for chem.


I like being happy. :/
Maths defies happiness.

MY WILL

Stacy's Will

25th April 2006

(just in case she dies anytime soon)

Okay. I don't want a funeral based on any religion.

It shall be held at the tiny field at the dead end of Colchester Grove, and there shall be no burning of joss sticks or candles. Please. In fact, there shall be flowers. Lilies and carnations, frangi panis (I insist), hibiscuses, roses, and the like. Bouquets and bouquets of them. That's all. Scattered on the ground.

Don't leave any rubbish behind, or my soul shall return to haunt y'all.

My coffin can be propped up on a normal table, and music shall be playing. Any sort, really. Rock's fine, R&B's fine, classical's fine. Ohoh play Once Upon A December! You can find the midi file in my computer. The password is _.

Cremate me if you like. Scatter some of my ashes in that same field, yeah. Help me send a card to my primary school, telling that how much I'd missed them, even when I was in sec2.

Whatever money you can find in my box by my bedside, my plastic box in Sini's room. Okay. 10% each shall go to Robyn and Paula. 5% to Saranya, Amanda, Pei Ying. Each yeah. Oh, and give Greg some. You know. So he can buy a new pair of shoes. Or that cap. XD

The rest will go to my parents. It ain't much anyway. :D

Gosh I'm acting like I'm dead already.

whatever you do, don't attempt to close down this blog.

All my CDs and books and clothes and stuff go to my sister. It's a small haul, anyway...

Robyn gets... err... oh yeah! My science notes! okay. She gets my diary. And my roller skates.

This material possessions thing is hard. :/

Let's skip to last words. Highlight.

Cheryl

commence: Hey Cheryl! Okay. You're an okay person. Frankly -okay, frankly- I've never really treated us as like, bestest friends or anything, and sometimes our msn conversations get boring, and sometimes real life conversations dry up because I suddenly kinda lose interest in wonkeys and wombats (mood swings, pardonne-moi ^^;), and I admit I haven't treasured our friendship as much as I should've. I'm sorry.

I know I've been distant, desolee. You're nice to laugh with, y'know? Initially I thought of you (when our classes just merged) as merely another acquaintance. But here I am, including you in my last words list. XD

I don't know what to say.

You're great, okay. You're really smart. And you're wacky. GO CHERYL hahah. So before I die, I'm letting you know that you've been quite a good friend. (: Oh and it was nice working with you at TP.Let's do it again this June! fini.

Greg

commence: Hey Greg! hahah. Gosh. I've never really met a guy like you before. You like shoes. You like caps. You're obsessed with Buffy and The O.C. You write well. You hate Maths. You like lit. You're tall. You're funny. So. I remember we got along really really well when we were tagging each others' blogs, but everything fizzled out during our first msn conversation. But somehow during our last conversation we got along like clockwork, yet again. XD

I was all, hey, he's just another guy - that is, when Cheryl was telling me about you. There was a point where I was kind of of the impression that you were whiny... okay, you didn't see anything. Dang. How come last words come so slowly. Hm. I can't say much, just that you'd be nice to get to know better. :D fini.

Nick

commence: hey, if you're reading. Okay, I know you are.

so things have been pretty forced lately yeah. ...tuesday morning, I know, hahah. So let's start from the beginning: For the first few conversations when we were still in the introduction stage, I thought you were a tad boring. We didn't talk for a month or so, and then we started chatting again, well, almost everyday. You're like, one-of-a-kind. ^^;

hmm. okay. So you like green tea, you're a kickass badminton player, you play the guitar, you write you like maths you're optimistic you're good at chinese you're tall you hate msh you love music you sing you know french you're good at cheering people up you're great to talk to you rock. Etc. So before I die I shall tell you that you've been a great friend, even well, yeah, I haven't been much of a friend lately. but cheers. :) fini.

Paula

commence: Gosh Paula. Started way back in kindergarten. And then by sheer coincidence, your family moved to like, the house right behind my house. When I was 5 and you were 6. :) I know you think of your pretty house near the beach... okay. You miss your rabbits. Peggy. You quarrel with your mum. I haven't been a great friend. 'Fact, I don't think I've ever been a great friend to anyone. i've always been... somewhat self-centered. ^^;

So I'm sorry I neglected you, sort of, for not sympathising wholly, for not being there when you needed your friends the most. Kay so you've been like one of my best friends ever since kindergarten. We donned sweaters, wore our sunglasses, went out in the hot sun and pretended to be spies. We plotted against the guys together, had some amateurish but enjoyable games of badminton, hahah, before we became kind of good at the game. we 'prayed' for you, hoping you'd do well for your psle. Hahah, remember that time, Robyn and I? At Conway?

And I remember Ling yu and I taught you to cycle as well! heh.

I vaguely remember stuff.

I was the bookworm because I read so much.

You became the cycling worm because after you learnt how to cycle, you couldn't get enough of it. XD

SSC, remember. Secret Spies Club. The club that we set up when we were in primary 2/3, to, err, go against the guys in our neighbourhood.

gosh. oh gosh. we played monopoly in your house a lot. The shuttlecock, when we played badminton, always got caught in the leaves of the trees outside your house. You always used your slipper to try and get it down, and more than once it got caught up there.

so much stuff, man. I'm gonna compile a scrapbook. Remind me to do so before I die, kay? fini.

Robyn

commence: ROBYN HEY ROBYN. You there, right? I can't believe you're changing blogurls. You not being appergal would be strange, surreal. Heck we're all growing up aye. well, maybe not. I don't know. So. FELLOW DMHG SHIPPER. Fellow English lover. Fellow hantuitioner. Fellow ex-zpser. First met you on the schoolbus. And I ended up in your Chinese class. You had long hair then! I kept waving to you. And then Ling yu and I visited your house. And we started going out cycling from then. HAHA Paula and I taught you how to cycle. ;)

Robyn = fun. Okay.

ROBYN AH.

HEY ROMEO. -cough-

wherefore... art thou... romeo. Or something. Heck Shakespeare, for the moment.

Before I die, you should know that:

Robyn is great. Robyn rocks. Robyn is omnipotent and almighty and her feet rock and her shoes rock and-

oh gosh I just remembered we always went fishing in the drain. Bending our backs for hours on end, trying to get That guppy or That tadpole. We'd use anything as nets; containers, cups, plastic bags, whatever.

okay, I just realized it's been pretty weird. I guess I'm so used to lifeatzps that it seems weird that now I've got new secondary school friends and so do you. Weirdness.

I suddenly feel nostalgic. -bursts into tears-

ONE DAY. One day. One day I shall teach you to play the piano. and tennis. Yes. :)

ROBYN ROCKS ROBYN IS GREAT ROBYN IS ALMIGHTY.

fini.

SNG Schoolmates

commence: Mary-anne, you're great to talk to, even if we've disagreed alot on occasion. Liu Yi, Pei Hwa, you guys rock. Pei Hwa, okay, I didn't really like you at the start of last year. But now I think you're really great. Liu yi, you've been great from the start yeah. :) Kerina/Erin/Calista, never really thought much of you guys, but hello. Natalie, hey. Ugenie, you're a really great forward, you're a really great person. Hey Joy. Gosh. I was so lonely last year until you asked me if you could partner me. you know, during the whole sec1 orientation thing. XD Vanessa, DANNYL ROCKS. Okay -cough- you're fun to be around. Yoceeda, hey. Hey Esthers. Hey Denise, Isabelle (2C), hey Delphine, hey Rachel. Hey. fini.

Stefi

commence: so I haven't been the greatest sister yeah. Sorry. fini.

So, before I die. (:

Been looking through some of my ancient -or not- smses. Birthday greetings, in particular.


Lalala. Have a sweet 13
Robyn, 12.18pm


-insert picture here-
HAPPY BIRTHDAY,MERRY X'MAS n HAPPY NEW YEAR
Uncle Chin Long, 7.13pm


hey, i just got back from hk, and i remember its your b'day. hahah. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! sorry about the late greeting.
Jessica, 3.02am, one day later


aww. that's all, I think.
Happy Birthday to me!
In advance. Way, way in advance.


Been deleting lots of smses, keeping alot s'well, cos I'm a schmaltz, tu souviens?


Hmm. Oui.


Stacy...? Oui.
Stacy. Ooi.


One of the perks of being in French class, when the professeur is marking attendance.
J'AI LE TRAC.


Man I miss Track. Weird guy, but nice.
He was funny! For some part.
And he was friends with Sanjay.
Remember Russell and Alex(ander).
Gosh, these guys, they all transferred out.
Somehow French class will never be French class again without them. These wonderful wonderful people. Russell's migrated or something. Alex's gone back to Britain, or wherever in Europe he lives.


hey it's the 25th of april.


Our history project is pretty boring.
Maybe it's just our teacher.
Approximately one month ago, I was truly madly deeply in love with history.
And before that. And before that.

Dang. I shall FAIL chem, I tell you. Wait, lemme get this right - elements in the same group have the same number of valence electrons, and those in the same period have the same number of shells... okay. I can do this.


Just spare me the equation balancing thing.
Because I'm too lazy to study any of it.


Though it's not hard to see why people initially thought I was a hardworking intelligent diligent girl, you know, seeing as the whole quiet=studious stereotype exists. pffffft.


Okay. I used to be a downright bitch. In primary school I was insufferably spoilt.
I think.
Gosh, I haven't been tagged by any of my primary schoolmates for so long.
And yet... and yet I love them the most! oh gosh oh gosh. Something doesn't add up here.


I wish people were as easy to analyze as storybook characters.


Unfortunately no.


I got seaweed in my mouth, yo. Spicy and stuff.
My mum got that bee chung something (ba gua? argh.) something.
You know, once you've gotten used to running, five or six entire rounds can pass by in a blur. Once you're done, you breathe heavily for a while, and after about five minutes you're fine. But that's the entire gist of it all, I suppose. If we actually fully remembered the pain and exhaustion we went through when running, we wouldn't want to do it again. Like mothers and childbirth, ew.


My dog sings.
I swear.


HAHAH I just read my boredompoem a few posts ago. That was so incredibly lame. XD


Well. W-ell.
Today was boring.


LOTS OF STUFF TO DO AND
sometimes I hate myself.


You know sometimes you really really dislike someone, e.g. when they always follow you around, and then you can't stand it halfway and you 'abandon' that person while they're eating mushroom rice, and you look back and see how pathetic that person is and can't help feeling guilty but you walk on anyway.


Baroque pieces, I realize, require a degree of somewhat forceful indifference. Musta be detached, ruthlessly unsentimental, moving from chord to chord swiftly. So it's pretty much all technical and stuff. Allegro's like that. Gotta get rid of those romantic notions.


Life's like that though.


But I'll choose to play the Chopin piece.


risefallrisefall


la la LA la la la la


come in, without there!

I met the sk8er boi I said see ya later boi.
I'll be backstage after the show.


In school now. Precarious position, teacher might see me.
HISTORY HECK.
Okay, I don't like history anymore.
Geography, yet, :3.

plus que mots.
A rather crude translation, I think, but it's a pretty nice song. :/
only... Spanish. Not French. Right.
Mrs. Tam is harsh, dang, but okay. Okay.


So said the giant to the giant
What is it us giants should do?
I stay home all day feeling oh-so-bored
don't you feel the boredom too?
It buzzes around like a stupid bee,
and it just won't go away.
It's such a horrible sight to see
because as my mamma always says-
boredom exists to be fulfilled
not lounge around like this.
Bees need honey, boredom needs stuff
_.


I felt bored, yeah.
Too lazy to figure out that last line.
and today I started on a new story. Yet again.
prob'ly will go down the recycle bin.
Get me outta this chute, pfft.

N'est pas bon.
Our lit play wasn't good. Stumbled over some lines, had to continuously prompt Macbeth, had some in-between breaks to retrieve a forgotten prop, every play's nightmare. The radio conked out. And Liuyi/erin/peihwa/kerina, sorry if I got too overbearing at some point. I tend to... err, voluntarily put myself in charge when I think things aren't going too well. Unless someone else's already in charge.
So many things were impromptu. Bajeebus, f'only Kerina could've come for our rehearsals.
But nevermind. It's already over. :)


2.4.!
I didn't do well.


We ran during PE. After which we had height/weight taking sessions.
Apparently I've lost weight, gotten shorter, and run slower than I did last year.


on a sidenote, I don't really mind being short.
GUESS HOW TALL I AM.


Tall people are evil. :/
oh, I just realized I've insulted-
um. Basically all the guys I know.
and Robyn, who has left for the world of height160+ people, abandoning me on the island of shorthood.


BUT HAHA I'M TALLER THAN PAULA YAY.
Dear Paula,
I hope things get better b'tween you and your mum and your sis.
Drink lots of green tea and ribena.
Do well for your 2.4, your five items, your exams. The only one who needs to reap pride from your efforts is yourself. GO PAULA GO PAULA GO PAULA GO PAULA GO PAULA GO PAULA GO PAULA GO PAULA! Cheetah! hahah. XD
okay, I'm gonna print this out and put it in your letterbox. -lurks-
and don't grow up so fast 'kay. Because the world needs more kids like us.
you can cry if you want to. B'cos that's what everyone should do yeah!
PAULA PAULA PAULA
thanks for the notebook, all the little stuffs.
After your exams, we shall cycle somewhere!
we'll play badminton for three hours straight like we used to do.
we'll do the monkey bars till our old calluses can be seen again.
we'll go on the swing and as usual, you'll be able to swing higher than me. Remember right? Remember which swings we always take? The ones at conway?
we'll take zuess for a walk! we'll go visit robyn's rabbit. :)
and we'll remember Perse (two of them, mine and yours), Chubby and Cupid, and Peggy, and Ashley, and Fortune, and Sirius (remember my tiny black rabbit? he's still buried in my garden), and Snowball and Jelly and Cuddles, and my very first dog Celia, and my very first kitten, well, Kitty.
we'll go fishing in the drain, hahah. Even though there aren't many fish left.
we'll go visit our old kindergarten! Remember Mdm Loo?
I remember our old stints. We used to be such extroverted tomboys, cycling past the guys in our neighbourhood and teasing them stuff like 'peeping tom, peeping tom'. Although we didn't really know what that meant back then. XD
we were practically at war with the guys in the oval dais.
haha, now my attitude's kind of changed towards guys, but you still dislike them - as usual. I think? hmm. Well. Rock on, Paula. :)


-


man, I'm getting nostalgic. For hockey today my face turned red, which is rather surprising because it never turns red. It usually turns... white. Ashen.
BUT a-nyway.


Science and maths test on the same day, I just realized. :/

Yiying just called me. Class message - please remember to bring my thermometer tomorrow, and pass the message to Wenman please.
How on earth did they get my-


Oh, right. Not that I mind, exactly- it's just scary when classmates you think you'll never ever really talk to suddenly call you up and tell you to bring your thermometer to school the next day.


And 2Faith never really was very pro-class unity.
Some people think we're a lot more united as compared to last year. Because last year when our people took part in competitions and stuff, we didn't cheer for them. But now, because some of us take the initiative to cheer, we have morphed into an extremely united class.


Cheering, bleck.


I cheer for 2Faith in my heart. -cough
Sometimes.


I've got faith in mah heart
I've got faith in mah hea-rt
I've got faith in mah heart
an' in mah soul
in mah soul!


Though I can't say I'm someone who loves 2Faith wholly, I did like our counsellors. They rocked. They kicked ass. They sang well.


and they were awesomely cool. :)


I love my hockey stick.
till death do we part!
I should give it a name.
I should give her a name.
I gave my old bike (the one passed down from my cousin) a name. Forgot what it is.


The house is crawling with Stefi's fake spiders and beetles and ants.
She put some in my hair. Or attempted to.
She hid some in the piano.
She sprawled them all over my father's desk.
And she's still got a whole lot more of them in that plastic silver hat.
Lordy, help. :/


He was a girl
She was a boy


I can't help it. I accidentally mixed up the lyrics, shut up.


I hate cheese. I absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely hate cheese.
Actually I kinda like it. oh, I don't know.
Love hate. DMHG.
Gosh, I haven't fanficked for so long.


and according to Yoceeda, well-


anyway.


Yoceeda: You write fanfics right?
Stacy: Err, used to, not anymore.
Yoceeda: -about to say something when I interrupt her-
Stacy: How do you know I write fanfics? (or wrote)
Yoceeda: It's like everyone's talking about -stacy's fanfics-, stacy's fanfics.


Wtf. Of all things I have to become famous for, my... fanfics.
And I sincerely doubt it's -everyone- who talks about them.
hahah, think it's just the anime gang. Manga gang. Manga group. They're like fanfic crazy, XD.


well.


My LJ fic-
has been long abandoned, ever since I got hopelessly sick of it. Come on, I was unreasonably romantic. Lily studies in the astronomy tower. James is an arrogant prick, which is totally normal. but I dragged the whole thing for too long, a whole lot of unnecessary angsting, till I gave up and stopped writing. In general.


My witchofblackbirdpond fanfic-
a cheesy title that doesn't suit the story. My first completed novel, which is cause for some sort of pride, but in the end it's lousy.


My one-shots are mostly pointless (except for some which I really like, mostly because of the writing style) and made for the sole point of seeing a particular couple kiss in the end. I was all about the whole 'sealed with a kiss' thing.


But... okay. okay.
At least they like my crap.


I need to find masking tape but I can't.
NAPFA tomorrow. Wait, I shall now-


okay. I've drunk one mug of water. Which is pretty amazin' cos what I drink is strictly limited to green tea, coke, chrysanthemum, and the occasional gulp of water. But Mr. Phee says drinking lots of water the night before 2.4 prevents stitches, and I'd do anything that could get that A for my run, so yeah.


oh, before I forget-


happy birthday, d-addy. :)


he's older than Singapore!
okay, that was lame.
But he's 43 this year. Or 44.
either way- he's overseas now, and he'll never ever read this, but yeah.


LIU YI.
I have superpsychic powers.
I found your torch, hahah.
yes I did.
whee I rock.

Foolish little girl isn't having second thoughts.
For the first four to five rounds, it's mostly physical strength.
When it comes to the sixth, forget physical, it's all mental.
Let's clear that round to a shiny first place.


As JoJo said
keep on keepin' on